Mollie Engelhart The Truth at All Costs

[Speaker 2] (0:00 - 0:59) What's up, everybody? Welcome back to the Here For The Truth Podcast. I'm Joel Rafiti. I've got my co-host Erasmus with me as always. And today we have Molly Englehart joining us. She's the founder of the Sage Restaurants. She has her own regenerative farm in Texas, the Confluence Events, which I'm sure you guys have heard about with Alec and Eileen being involved as well. They're hosted on her farm. And she has an incredibly interesting story, a wild journey. Some of the stories that she shares in this podcast have completely blown our minds. And it was an honor to hear that and to witness it. By listening to this podcast, I've got no doubt that you're going to be inspired and be changed as a result of this conversation, for sure. Anything to add to that? [Speaker 3] (0:59 - 1:00) I agree. No, I agree. [Speaker 2] (1:01 - 1:44) I was looking at you. I thought there was something budding in response there. No, no, I agree. I ended my cadence with the opportunity for Erasmus to come in and say something, but I misread the situation. And there was a little bit of an awkward silence there, but it's all good. This is part of what it means to be here for the truth. Guys, rise above the herd. Round 10 doors are now closed. So, everyone that's joined, we're so excited to go on this incredible journey with you and have an amazing experience over the next 10 weeks. And for everyone else, if you're down, jump inside Friends of the Truth, our membership community, members-only podcasts, six monthly calls. We're actually doing seven calls in August. Come connect, hang out, get inspired, stay motivated. And we'd love to see you inside. Please enjoy this episode. [Speaker 4] (1:45 - 1:53) You are now listening to the Year for the Truth podcast, hosted by Joel Rafiti and Erasmus. [Speaker 2] (1:55 - 2:57) Molly Engelhardt, a mother of five, is one of America's foremost advocates for regenerative farming and health freedom. Her commitment to people having healthy food has intertwined her two regenerative farms in California and Texas and her restaurants, formerly Sage Vegan Bistro. Recently, she has made the brave choice to transition her vegan restaurants to Sage, a regenerative kitchen, incorporating regenerative meat and dairy and moving away from the use of seed oils altogether. She hosted and co-produced two confluence events at her Texas ranch and sowing sovereignty on her farm in California. These events focus on health freedom, common law and natural medicine. As she has never been vaccinated, she's an advocate of health freedom and informed consent. She's dedicated to living and sharing a natural and practical earth-minded lifestyle from her regenerative farms and restaurants to her deep concern for healthy eating and holistic family life. She's had three home births and Molly is showing a way forward for people who want to make a difference. Molly, thanks for being here for the truth. [Speaker 1] (2:58 - 3:02) Thank you for talking the truth. It's a rarity in this day and age. [Speaker 3] (3:03 - 3:07) My first question actually is like, how are you still alive? You've never been vaccinated. I don't know. [Speaker 1] (3:08 - 3:20) It's crazy. I've traveled all around the world too. I've been to South America, Mexico, Venezuela, France, and Ecuador. I'm still alive. Shocking. [Speaker 3] (3:22 - 3:25) You've survived decades of winters of death. [Speaker 1] (3:26 - 3:43) Decades of winters of death. Between 37 and 45, I had four children. I mean, clearly, my body is melabolically failing me because I am not- You had four children between 37 and 45. [Speaker 2] (3:43 - 3:48) That's incredible. I love to hear that. Yes, but if you look at- Beautiful children. Beautiful. [Speaker 1] (3:48 - 3:54) Beautiful children. But just yesterday, people were like, she's morbidly obese. Don't listen to her about health. I'm like- I can't. [Speaker 2] (3:54 - 3:55) I can't. [Speaker 1] (3:55 - 4:19) Stop having four babies in your 40s. It's a little harder to lose the weight. I think it's also the stress. The stress of moving and everything that's going on. But yeah, sure. I'm heavier than I should be. I just had four babies back to back. But the crazy thing is people want to make that a reason to not to devalidate my whole life. [Speaker 2] (4:20 - 4:23) Yeah. That's pretty impressive for a geriatric. [Speaker 1] (4:23 - 4:29) Right. I had four geriatric pregnancies. Four geriatric pregnancies. [Speaker 2] (4:29 - 4:33) So wild to call it geriatric at that age. It's so ridiculous. [Speaker 1] (4:35 - 5:20) We do this dinner on the ranch every Saturday night and one of our neighbors came and she had these two big sons. They're fraternal twins and they're huge. I mean, they're 13 years old and are huge, like six foot something. You wouldn't think they're 13 years old. She told my husband, oh, it's because I had them when I was 51. So I had stored up a lot of nutrition in my body when she had them at 51. So she must have been 64 or whatever. But they were huge and they were twins. My husband was like 51. She had twins. We could double our... At that rate, we could double our group of children, honey. We could end up with eight. [Speaker 2] (5:21 - 5:34) That's wild. That's amazing. Yeah. I love it, man. Just blows holes in these paradigms around age and birth and safe birth at certain ages and stuff like that. It's just a ridiculous notion. There's so much fear programming around that. [Speaker 1] (5:35 - 6:59) It's all to make money. Literally everything about the medical system, it's a business. I had a miscarriage in the hospital one time. This is totally off the point, but I had a miscarriage and it was before I'd had any children. I wasn't sure if there was something we could do or what was happening. By the time I realized there was nothing we could do and I was miscarrying, I was already in the hospital. I ended up miscarrying in a hallway with no pads, no Tylenol, no nothing, and just no bed, just going to the bathroom and trying to drop blood in the toilet and then hold it in because I have no pads or anything. It was terrible. Then when the doctor finally saw me, he pulled the fetus out on his hand and he goes, oh, it's a full loss. He flicks a baby that's about this big off of his hand into the bag that says hazardous waste or whatever. My husband walks in and that's how he finds out that it's a full loss is the doctor licking the child into the thing. I remember in that moment thinking, this is a business and they're having a bad day today. When I have a bad day, someone gets the wrong appetizer or the table next to them that ordered after them got their food first. When a hospital has a bad day, people miscarriage in the hallway and the doctor says stuff like, oh, to your baby. [Speaker 2] (7:00 - 7:02) That's wild. But it's a business. [Speaker 1] (7:02 - 7:38) It's a business and they want you to come back and they want you. I didn't get a single scan on my last child. I was 45, not a single scan because every time they're going to tell, oh, you know what? Your placenta is, you have partial placenta previa. You have to come back to see if your body's going to grow and the placenta is not going to be blocking the entrance. Like, give me a break. I don't need extra scans. It's all just money. Oh, you're older. You should come back in three weeks for another scan just so we can check. Was there a problem? No, we just, you know, you're a million years old. [Speaker 3] (7:38 - 7:55) I just had real quick, I was having a conversation with a friend about this, not just about pregnancy, but just like all these diagnostics that like, why do you, do you feel fine? Then why are you going in for all these tests? Because they're just going to like find things to tell you are wrong with you and then scare you. [Speaker 1] (7:56 - 8:28) It's crazy. This girl is helping me right now. I don't have a personal assistant and she worked at a different part of my company and she's, she's young and very trying to help. The other day, she's like, I can't work this morning. I have to take my mom to the hospital. And I said, or urgent care. I said, oh, what's wrong? And she said she got scared from the fireworks last night. It was the day after 4th of July. And she hasn't felt right since then. What is the doctor going to do? You were scared of the fireworks and like, just calm down. Like, but we live in a world where people go to the doctor for something like that. [Speaker 2] (8:28 - 8:35) Yeah. It's a business of, it's a business of fear. Ultimately it's a business that thrives off fear, you know, and. [Speaker 1] (8:36 - 9:41) I've never been to the doctor. Not one time. My second youngest child just had one checkup when he was bored. Like the well-checked, the doctor came to my house. After the first two, my first son, they kept telling me he was 0%, you know, in the height and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. Up five foot. My husband's five four. Like, I'm not going to have a Shaquille O'Neal. Like it's okay. And they were like, you should think about growth hormones. And I wrote the doctor like a viscerally angry letter. Like you're talking in front of my son about how he's so small and he, when he's bigger, he may not find a husband. I mean a wife or a, have a family because he's not like adequate to be a husband because he's so short. First of all, that shows your prejudice. My son lives in a Latino community where he's probably going to be a normal size person or even tall. And all these Latino men around him, including his father have awesome, beautiful wives. Why are you telling him? Because he's short. He's not going to have a wife. Like it's a craziest thing to stay in front of a three-year-old. [Speaker 2] (9:41 - 9:42) That's ridiculous. [Speaker 3] (9:44 - 9:53) There's just no social intelligence, no tact. They think they're all knowing that like whatever comes out of their mouth is the truth. Like it's so ass backwards. [Speaker 2] (9:53 - 10:12) I mean, even with, you know, flicking the deceased baby into the hazardous bag, like just that's a prime example of the complete lack of sincerity and care in terms of what they actually do and how they actually engage as well. Like who wants that energy anywhere near them, especially during the process as sacred as a birth or a miscarriage or whatever else it might be. [Speaker 1] (10:13 - 11:40) I had one baby in the hospital and then that miscarriage and then three babies at home. And I tell people, I don't care if it's your first, your second, your fifth, do not do it in the hospital. Nothing about you. And I had a broken coccyx bone that healed wrong and we had to break the coccyx bone to get him out. So it was a trauma situation and it was life threatening to me and him. So we went to the hospital for that birth, but that was a car accident that broke my coccyx bone 20 years earlier and it healed like this. And so his head was hitting it. So I think that modern medicine in an emergency situation, you broke your leg, you've got a broken coccyx bone and they need to get in there and break it. I'm all for it. Everything else stay away, like stay far, far, far away because they do more harm than good. And once you're in the hospital, you can't leave till they see that you poop. So I mean, imagine this pressure, like everything's all messed up down there. Your butthole and your vagina are pretty close to each other and you're scared. And now if you don't poop, you cannot go home to your own bed and your own pajamas and your own food and your own tea. But it feels scary to poop, like that's crazy. And lots of women I never happened to meet get hemorrhoids during birth. And so there's all this stuff and you're not allowed to leave till you poop. That is a crazy rule that is obviously just to keep people in the hospital longer. [Speaker 2] (11:40 - 11:55) Your presence of the choir here. I want to ask quickly, pretty amazing for your parents during that time to choose not to vaccinate. Can you speak into their, did they come into this information early or what was the case there? [Speaker 1] (11:55 - 11:56) Laziness. [Speaker 2] (11:58 - 12:00) Nice, divine, divine laziness. [Speaker 1] (12:01 - 12:53) There's some question whether my brother got zero vaccines and I got one. But I think somehow she had the card. So I might have gotten one and she just wrote the stuff on there because she didn't want it. She was 20 years old and didn't want to deal with going to the doctor. I can only really remember going to the doctor one time for chicken pox. And maybe I got one that she got the card at that point and I got some one thing, but I never got like the MMR. I don't know what I got that one time I went. And then my brother, I don't know how she got the card. I maybe she copied my card. I don't know. But she never. And then Dr. Tom Cowan was my pediatrician later in my childhood. [Speaker 3] (12:54 - 13:00) So. Wow. Gotcha. Yeah. That's cool. Was this like NorCal, California or? [Speaker 1] (13:00 - 13:02) No, I grew up in New York, upstate New York. [Speaker 3] (13:02 - 13:04) Oh, he was, Cowan was in New York. Gotcha. Okay. [Speaker 1] (13:04 - 15:08) Yeah. But in Ithaca, but my mom is way down the rabbit hole, like deep, deep, deep down the rabbit hole. She calls like Max Egan from the crow house, her boyfriend. She's like, Oh, my boyfriend has a new show. I got to find out what's next. What is his last name? Whatever. So, you know, that's the level of down the rabbit hole my mother is. And so she did wake up to all of it. And she just was like so grateful that she didn't do it back then. But we also just I think it's a combination, vaginal birth, no vaccines, grew up on a farm. My mother, I never saw my mother with wet wipes. I never I don't even ever remember her really telling us to wash our hands like if you poop, wash your hands. But I don't remember her being like, Oh, you came in the house, you're going to eat some food with your hands, wash your hands. I don't I don't you pet a dog, wash your never, never, never. My mom would blow my nose at the bottom of her skirt. Like we pee outside on the side of the road. You know, I think that that we grew up in a very non sterile environment. And I think that that is what those combinations, breast milk, vaginal birth, a non sterile environment growing up with animals, that combination creates a healthy human being. But right now we raise our kids in sterile environments, they come out through a cesarean, they don't get to, you know, they have to have their face and all those holes on your face go across the butthole coming out to get that last important microbiology to set your microbiology correctly. And when you come out to a cesarean section, that you're breathing in the microbiology from a sterile environments, you're getting this industrial microbiome that can survive in an operating room. Well, that is not what we're meant to be the seeds to start the correct microbiology. And then add on top of that, we're giving corn syrup in formula, we just aren't setting people up in the right trajectory. And then sanitizer, sanitizer, sanitizer. [Speaker 2] (15:09 - 15:20) Yeah, heard. Okay, so let's talk about Sage. So you launched a chain of vegan restaurants initially, when was Sage launched? [Speaker 1] (15:21 - 17:00) I opened first an ice cream shop, a vegan ice cream shop in 2009. And then we realized that market was a little too narrow, like vegan ice cream, raw vegan ice cream. And so we then expanded into our first location in 2010 in Echo Park. And then we expanded it into Culver City in 2013. 2017, I opened Pasadena. And we had year over year growth every single year for 10 years, which is really hard to do in the restaurant industry. And I only say that not to blow my own horn. But to be clear that the struggles we're having right now are definitively because of the bureaucracy around COVID. Because we completely took this business from nothing, bootstrapped it to a business that was worth $25 million in 2019. And we were negotiating a deal for $25 million through the holidays, we took a break from the deal. And then all of a sudden, January, there's cruise ships and COVID and money got real choppy. And I had passed up a $10 million cash deal because this other person had a $25 million deal, but they needed hedge fund money. But I mean, I don't know, I should take a million. But so all of that to say, and now my restaurants are worth almost nothing. So and we've had to close two of our four stores through the scam. [Speaker 3] (17:00 - 17:03) The scam damage. So were you ever vegan yourself? [Speaker 1] (17:04 - 17:12) I've been vegan or vegetarian my whole life. I've never eaten meat. I tried a little bit of chicken once. I tried a little piece of a hamburger once when I was 12. [Speaker 3] (17:15 - 17:19) What's your connection to Cafe Gratitude? Is that your parents? Did your parents start that? [Speaker 1] (17:19 - 17:25) My father and my stepmother started Cafe Gratitude. Gracias Madre. [Speaker 2] (17:25 - 17:38) Gotcha. Okay. So then you decided recently to move away from the vegan brand for this sage line of restaurants. And you decided to... [Speaker 1] (17:38 - 19:26) I wanted to do it in 2019. But we had this huge offer on the table. And I said, I'll just open a new restaurant. Let me sell this. That's the dream, right? You grow your business, and then you get some financial freedom. And so I wanted to do it in 2019. But that didn't make sense for my family, for my employees. And so I said, I'll start a new restaurant afterwards, after we sell and I'll do a regenerative. And then as Sage was just kind of dying on the vine, one store closed, another store closed. And I'm looking at closing more stores, I said, the conversation every week in the core team meeting was, we need more butts in seats. We need more butts in seats. And so I thought, well, more butts in seats has expanded the audience. Let's go back to my original idea of switching to an all regenerative menu. And then you have a much broader audience. You get the carnivores, you get the vegans, you get everyone who's committed to whole foods, no chemicals, no pesticides, and full transparency in the supply chain, which I thought was a foundationally important concept to any keto, vegan, vegetarian, carnivore, truther. I just thought it was a universally important thing. And I said, I'm going to lean hard into full traceability, go to the farms, have a relationship with the farms. And even if the food is more expensive, I'm bringing the highest quality meat. I'm getting it direct. There's no supply chain for this. So I created the supply chain, created the relationships, created the network and launched the menu. [Speaker 2] (19:27 - 19:33) Yeah. And what's been the experience and I guess the potential backlash since making this transition? [Speaker 1] (19:35 - 21:03) It's been intense. So the first thing was just like protesting outside the restaurant. Then they started protesting in the restaurant. And because it's Los Angeles, the police don't show up. And so Father's Day, and they have tried to haze me online for saying they shut us down. So to be clear, I never locked my doors on Father's Day. They chased all the customers out. And I sent the majority of the day shift home because nobody was in the restaurant. And this is all on video camera. It's been on Fox News. It's been everywhere. But so they didn't shut me down as that I locked my doors. But they came into the restaurant with bull horns, with whistles, with sirens, with drums, and just screamed until everybody left. And like I have one friend who has two autistic children, vaccine industries, and a Down syndrome child, and then two regular children. And they were in the restaurant, and they like had to leave abruptly because the father was going to punch somebody because the kids were like having, you know, sound sensitivity to all of that stuff. But then they went on. Just to be clear, when you say that you mean like vegan protesters, dogmatic vegan protesters that are very compassionate about human life, you know, and, and making sure I'm when I'm saying they I'm being clear that I mean, the people, the 25 people that were in my restaurant, I don't speak I can't I'm not putting every vegan in that totally, totally, totally. [Speaker 3] (21:04 - 21:05) The ones that were there. Yeah. [Speaker 1] (21:05 - 22:53) The ones that were there and whoever funded printing their signs buying their bull horns, whistles and sirens. And then the next thing was a concerted effort. Google and Yelp and Apple Maps is a crowdsourced information, right? So they got people to say permanently closed, permanently closed, permanently closed, permanently closed on all of those. So that Yelp, Google Maps and Apple Maps started showing as permanently closed on the locations. I got that reversed, but that was did damage. It was a whole week of very little business because and then but what's the mental like people looked it up? Oh, sage is closed. And then that's just closed in their mind. And they go on with their life. And they're not on Instagram every day to see me saying, wait, wait, wait, we're not closed. That was the next crazy thing. And so I guess what I underestimated was we hold our guests to ask how many of them are vegan, vegetarian, and how many just are like the food. And it's a 20% that were identified as vegan or vegetarian. And so I really thought we could pick up that 20% in the people that are super committed to food, transparency, and no poisons in their food and the environment in a sense of water, air, soil, no forever chemicals, not like fear mongering that were the pestilence of the planet. So I thought that we would get all those people. But it's been it's been slow to pick up those people. And that 20% of vegans was likely driving a fair amount of that other 80%. [Speaker 2] (22:54 - 23:20) It just like this is the thing when someone becomes so identified with a label, you know, or with like, for example, vegan or carnivore, whatever it might be when that entire being becomes like, you know, identified with this thing, and then someone goes against that or someone shifts or someone moves away from that paradigm. It's like the whole world is like, you know, crumbling, almost, you know, and this kind of reaction ensues, so to speak. [Speaker 1] (23:21 - 25:49) Well, it's the more disconnected we get from nature, the more we can be told a lie and believe it. So I was vegan, vegetarian for the majority of my life, I actually set out to start a farm and do it with there being no death. And then upon reconnecting with nature and observing that everything is constantly consuming itself, everything is dying. And there is no vegan food, like grass eats meat, and broccoli eats meat, all of our food is fertilized with blood meal, bone meal, feather meal, where do we think that's all coming from, or it's poop out of some consolidated feedlot system. And so everything is on the backs of death. And then you look at animals, and we don't think, oh, the lion is bad for whatever. So, and then I tried to grow my own food for my family. And I realized to get enough calories with vegetables is resource intensive. I know that what they're telling you in the world is that if we just eat Impossible Burgers, we'll serve the planet. But Impossible Burgers is actually throwing away 30% of the vegetable matter, only keeping 30% of the protein and the vegetable matters being thrown away and fed to cows. So either Impossible Burger is subsidized by cows, or cows are subsidized by Impossible Burgers. But it's all, we're all interconnected. And there is no way to separate ourselves from nature. And the ego that thinks they could do better than God or divine intelligence is led astray. But we live in these boxes and cities completely disconnected. So we're not observing nature on a regular and daily basis. And we're so fearful of death, that we've made death the end. Death is not the end, nor the beginning. We have no idea what the end or the beginning is. And we have been in this relationship with cows for a long time. And I think it's crazy to think that we should just abandon this relationship with cows, and then all cows go extinct, and we have a couple in a zoo. Like, I don't think if you were to ask my girls in the field, they would want that. [Speaker 3] (25:50 - 26:29) Yeah. I mean, there is life that is given throughout this whole process. And like, on one level, I understand, yeah, like, I understand that, you know, the compassion, I mean, there's a part of me that like, wishes we didn't have to cause harm to animals, and everything could be perfect. And we could all just be like, holding hands, kumbaya, everything's great. But like, I think even from a vegan standpoint, even just like, what is required to like, plow an entire field to grow corn, to grow soy, to grow whatever, I mean, you're displacing so many animals, there's so much death, like, you can't escape death. You may not be directly cutting a ribeye and eating it. But like, just one step down the line is death. [Speaker 1] (26:31 - 29:05) And it's so interesting how much disconnection we have from that. And it's the plowing, the tilling, the crop death, but it's also fertilizer, all fertilizer is some kind of death or defecation. And that's coming from where animals are being held to die at some point. And so, but it's also, I've watched, you know, a lion come into our sheep pen, kill a goat, not be able to carry that goat over the, get them out of the thing. So then get another sheep, get that sheep gets away, and then gets the third sheep. So that lion killed a pregnant goat and two sheep to eat one sheep, right? And so, do we think that that was, were they being species, were they being irresponsible? They were just doing what lions do. And I think that we have the ability to do it with much more care, and much more consideration. And the thing about regenerative agriculture, and why it cannot be collapsed with other kinds of agriculture, is there's so much life coming forth year over year, week over week, month over month, that it's creating life. And people say, oh, your cows are using way more water. I'm like, more water than what? Anybody who tells you that cows eating grass on native forage are using more water than growing vegetables are wrong. And the only reason we can say that cows pound for pound with vegetables are using more water, it's the grains that are being grown to feed the cows, which goes back to row crops and intensive agriculture, takes more water than grazing cows on native forage. And when you walk through our field, where the cows are grazing right now, birds fly out and jackrabbits run and foxes and these huge different, 50 different kinds of crickets. I didn't even know there was so many grasshoppers in the world. And birds and all types of stuff just flies out of the field when you walk. If we were haying that field and baling it, we'd be causing all of this death. But because we're just moving cows every day, twice a day, so cows are never on any place longer than 12 hours, that is creating more life. And yes, the cow at the end of two years will die. But the idea that regenerative agriculture is somehow using more land, destroying more forest habitat, it's creating habitat all the time. [Speaker 3] (29:06 - 29:09) Can you just define regenerative agriculture for our audience? [Speaker 1] (29:10 - 31:41) Yeah, for sure. So there's like five basic principles about regenerative agriculture. The first one is no-till or low-till. So the concept is that there's a microbiology food web in the soil. And there's no soil in the world that is a farmland soil that doesn't have enough nitrogen, phosphorus, MPK, because it's all there. But it's whether it's bioavailable to the plants or not. And so the more you have a microbiology food web in the soil, you can feed the plants. And so every time we plow or till, we break up that fungi, virus, bacteria, and probably nobody here believes in viruses, so whatever the terrain of the soil, we're breaking it up. And then that is no longer able to communicate with each other and has to rebuild. And by the time it gets rebuilt again, you're harvesting and doing that. So that's the one, no-till, low-till. The next one is animal integration. You move cows in mimicking nature or goats or sheep across native lands or pastures, and you move them every day like a bison did. And so you're getting their pee and their poop and their saliva in a concentrated area, but not for so long that it does damage and move and move and move. Another thing is perennials, having plants that have a living root in the ground all the time, because microbiology mostly needs a living root to live. The way that microbiology in the soil is mostly being fed, it's either on death, decomposing things, or roots from a living plant above. The living plant above takes carbon out of the atmosphere and turns it into carbohydrates and feeds that microbiology. So the living plant, and so having perennials integrated is important. And then cover crops, never leaving a fallow field in the same way that the tilling disrupts that microbiology. If you're going to harvest something, you want to plant something else right away, so there's living roots. And we like to say the mother is modest, she wants to be covered, she doesn't want her skin to be showing, because that does damage to the microbiology. And then less chemicals. And so those are the five principles of regenerative agriculture. And it's really not something new, it's going back to an old way of farming, where we treat the soil as a living part of the farm, and you're wanting to create healthy soil. And if you're farming the soil, everything else will follow. [Speaker 2] (31:42 - 32:10) Thank you. That's amazing. I love hearing that detail. I love what you said before, you know, about the disconnection from death as a driving factor for, you know, us to create this, you know, for some people to create this utopic, utopic idea of, you know, I know, death world and this potentially being a factor that leads people towards veganism. I haven't thought about that before, but I really like it. So you're, you're currently vegan, right? You've been vegan your whole life. That's what you said. [Speaker 1] (32:11 - 33:47) I'm vegetarian. I eat, I, in the world, out in the world, I'm pretty vegan. If I was at my restaurant, and I know what, where it is, but like, if I'm at the airport, I'll just eat vegan. But in my home, I eat cheese and milk and eggs from my own cows, goat milk from my own cows. Yeah. And my husband eats meat, my kids eat meat. And, you know, my husband hunts and, and harvests. And he's extraordinary. He never lets anything go to waste. And he'll do the deep dive to see if it's, today, we just had a goat that he found falling on the electric fence. And he ate something that he shouldn't have in his stomach was all bloated. And my husband put a needle in his stomach to release the air, trying to save him, couldn't save him. And then he opened him up to see if it was safe to eat the meat. And then, you know, erased everything on his schedule today to harvest this goat right outside. He's harvesting a goat because he's not going to let that go to waste. You know, he's going to make sure that, and we didn't anticipate, animal husbandry is so intense. And you're so present to the miracle of life. And that death is coming for all of us all the time. And it's beautiful and it's sad. And, you know, at the same time, we're bottle feeding this tiny little pig that nature would have definitely let die. But me trying to interfere, now I'm bottle feeding a pig that's like fits in my hand. [Speaker 2] (33:47 - 33:59) I think it's so unique, the position that you're in, like as a vegetarian and having a regenerative farm and being aware of the other side of things. So like, why do you personally choose to be, I guess, vegetarian is my question. [Speaker 1] (34:00 - 35:26) I was born vegetarian. I was born vegan. And then my mom tried to make us chocolate chip cookies one time. And the margarine turned to a plastic sheet in the oven. And she was like, oh, we're never eating margarine again. So we were raised vegan with butter mostly. Okay. And then after, you know, I think she introduced fermented dairy later on in our 12, 13, 14 year old years. But my mom was really conscientious about food. And that's why she was vegetarian. She had read a book about the consolidated feedlot systems. And like, she was like, oh, I don't want to participate in that. We lived on a farm. We grew all of our own food. We had a root cellar. And even though we were really poor, my mother worked for a bakery. And my auntie worked for the natural food co-op. So we would get broken bags of beans, broken bags of this, that, and the other. From the food co-op, we would get the bakery ingredients that got bugs in them. And my mom would put it in the freezer and then sift out the bugs. We ate a lot of, we had a lot of carbohydrates. We had a lot of pancakes and stuff because we were very poor, but everything was very whole foods. It was nothing. I never ate like highly processed foods. I never had fast food. I never had soda. We didn't even really have juice unless we were on a road trip or something. [Speaker 3] (35:26 - 35:29) Yeah. And this was, this was New York, right? This was in New York. Yeah. [Speaker 1] (35:29 - 35:33) And being vegan in New York in the wintertime is terrible. [Speaker 3] (35:33 - 35:38) That's not easy. I understand you want to be a raw food. [Speaker 1] (35:39 - 36:21) Carrots, potatoes, and beets was a lot of our winter. We grew sweet potatoes, carrots, beets, potatoes. And then we had a root cellar and you'd go down and cabbage and apples. And you'd go take it out of the sawdust, these big bins. Do people know? Do people even know what root cellars are anymore? It's under your house. And then you put sawdust and then you bury all the vegetables in the sawdust. And then you have a bin of potatoes and sweet potatoes and carrots and beets and radishes, mostly root vegetables, and then cabbage and apples can store that way. And you'd go down and shake off the sawdust and bring it upstairs. And mom would make apples and cabbage for dinner. [Speaker 3] (36:22 - 36:29) Amazing. Well, if you want to continue on this- Yeah, I just want to finish the thread. [Speaker 2] (36:29 - 36:44) So your choice to be vegetarian is simply personal preference. It's not driven by anything, any moral or ethical principle. It's just, I don't like eating meat and my body doesn't feel whatever. And that's your choice. And your conditions. Yeah. [Speaker 1] (36:44 - 38:16) I'm interested about eating meat, honestly. As we were talking about, I'm 46. I just had four babies back to back. I've been breastfeeding for nine years and seven months continuously because I've had a baby every two years. And I eat really clean and I am 25 pounds, probably overweight. And so I'm interested, is it that I'm not getting enough protein? Is it a hormonal thing that could be balanced by those things? I'm 46 years old. I've never eaten meat. It's the same as I don't look at a soda as food. And I know it's not the same thing. I haven't ever related to it as food. And so my husband is constantly trying to sneak tallow into things I'm eating. He'll be like, did you like that butternut squash that was for dinner? And I'll be like, yeah, honey, it was good. Well, it was tallow fried. And I'll be like, okay, thank you for letting me know after I ate it. Or my husband will be like, the bone broth, it's just, I mean, you're the chef. I need you to help me with the bone broth. And I'm like, I'm sure you can season your own broth. And he's like, I just need you to do a little bit and then tell me what it needs. And so there's a big pressure in my household for me to, I'm the last and my daughter. [Speaker 2] (38:16 - 38:17) You're the black sheep. [Speaker 1] (38:18 - 38:28) I'm the black sheep. And 10 years ago, when we got married, he had to cook me outside. I made a whole outdoor kitchen for him. No meat in the house. He had to agree to raise the kids vegetarian. [Speaker 2] (38:29 - 38:36) But how did you go from that to having a regenerative farm and watching animals get killed and processing and harvesting? [Speaker 3] (38:37 - 38:43) Yeah, that was my question. What's the timeline of your California farm? And then you have Texas now. What was going on? [Speaker 1] (38:43 - 42:31) No, in 2013, I listened to a Graham-State talk and it was so interesting about regenerative agriculture. And I was indoctrinated with the environmental mind virus that has us believe that we don't belong on the planet, that we're ruining it, we're burning it down. And so I drove a hybrid and drank my oat milk and thought I was not a good person. And then what he said made so much sense. Carbon is cycling. We're all carbon. Carbon is not the problem. And then he was like, honestly, if we want to be worried about something, it's got to be methane. And the main cause of methane is not cow burps and it's food waste. And nobody's doing anything about food waste. We don't even compost in the majority of cities. At that time, we didn't compost in LA. And I thought, it's crazy. I'm told that cows are ruining everything. And I have a restaurant, we throw away so much food. You have no idea how wasteful. People order five things and try them all. So much waste. And so I thought, I have to be composting my food if the main problem is methane. And I think I'm doing good. I'm a vegan chef in LA with my Lexus hybrid. I got to do something. So I started going out in the restaurant to every single person that had any money. And I'd be like, yo, so this and regenerative agriculture, blah, blah, blah, sequester carbon. It's all, everything they're telling us about solar panels and windmill, it's a lie. The plants do it themselves. We got to do this. And I'll bring all the compost from the coach from the Clippers. He'd be like, that's interesting. Courtney Love, anybody that came into the restaurant that I could get, I would go to the table and have these conversations. And that didn't work. So in 2013, I was like, I guess I'm the one I've been waiting for. But I'd already married my husband and he was undocumented. So we couldn't get a loan, no loan at all. And so we got into escrow multiple times. You call the bank and you're like, this is my income. This is this. Oh, yeah, I think it's not a problem that your husband's situation. And then all of a sudden you get to the end of escrow and they're like, oh, yeah, turns out no. And so finally, I found someone in 2017 going into 2018 that would owner finance. They carried the loan for me. And so we bought this farm. And so 2018, we really started farming and pretty quickly into the farming experience. I was like, what am I doing? I'm breastfeeding my child and then I'm feeding my next child boxed oat milk and I'm milking the cow onto the ground because. Because I don't want to harm any cows, I mean, it didn't make any sense, but I needed the poop from the cow to set off the compost because my whole purpose was to not let there be methane in the environment. And the fastest way to break down the compost was having a calf. And then I'm like, OK, well, I think that we could just drink raw milk because if my milk is gold, then her milk has got to be gold. And then we went from we had we had chickens. My husband was already eating the eggs. And then this thing happened with the ducks. I've talked about it where I wouldn't let kill the male ducks. And so they just kept reproducing. And then I got these new ducks. They were all females, 19 of them or whatever. And the male ducks raped them all to death. They were like teenage size. They were big enough to reproduce. They were brand new freshies, just like seven months old. And I'd been taking care of them by the house. We brought them over to the other ducks. [Speaker 3] (42:31 - 42:35) Nature is wild. Nature is wild. Nature doesn't fuck around. [Speaker 1] (42:36 - 47:56) All of them. And you want to know what? In nature, there would never be 20 male ducks or 30 male ducks or whatever I had. And I was trying to be God and say, no, nothing can die on my farm is a vegan farm. We're going to use animals. We're going to partner with animals and no animals are ever going to die. I called my dad and I was so disheartened. And my dad's like, well, that'll bring a vegan to her knees. And I was like, the next day I walked outside and I said, somebody do something about those ducks. And I assumed that those ducks got eaten. It didn't happen near me. I was still very tender about the whole thing. And then the neighbor dogs killed our entire flock of sheep in one night. They dug into the thing and killed them all for fun. And my husband got there and he had to shoot two of them because they were bleeding out. Two of them were all bloated and past due. There was like nine that needed to be harvested. And my husband just like jumped into like he is right now into harvest mode. And he's like, call people, call people. We don't have freezer space. It's like, get some people to come get lamb. And he's got the tractor forks up and he's skidding them all and his adrenaline. I'm watching him and he's like, and Latino family after Latino family from the restaurant, farm workers, friends are showing up and leaving with five gallon veganized buckets from the restaurant with lamb, just one after another. And I called all my friends that eat meat and they were like, oh no, the trauma, the trauma, we can't eat any meat with trauma in it. And I remember thinking, so interesting that people think there's no trauma in the food system, like that the traveling in a truck and then going in and getting out of this place that smells like blood and then watching your fellow people get killed in front of you. Or I don't know that there was more trauma with the dogs or less, I don't know. But anyway, that's still like notorious in Fillmore. People will still say like, oh, gracias por los borregos. But nothing went to waste. The two that were passed that were probably the two first ones to get killed, my husband didn't feel good about harvesting that meat. We buried under a tree and they fed a big olive tree and the other ones, it was so much meat. And then, I mean, I remember late into the night, my husband and Lorenzo were cleaning all the guts and the cow or lime and cleaning the guts and getting all the organs. And I realized in that moment, the level of privilege it is to be vegan. The idea that we would only eat one thing. And I watched two men that grew up with a dirt floor, sleeping in a hammock, no food privilege whatsoever, saving every bit of those sheep. And if it was me and my brother and our perspective on the world and what we grew up in, we would have dug a hole and put a cross on it and put their names on it. And I realized in that moment, when my husband's like adrenaline, 14, 15 hours later, still cleaning organs and set up the dehydrator and set up the sun baker thing to dehydrate and he just saved all of it. And I realized that he didn't grow up with packages of meat in the grocery store and that he wasn't going to let their lives be in vain. And so, those kind of three things, the cow milk, the ducks, kind of had me go to, okay, well, I'm not going to tell anybody about it, but I'm absolutely not going to have my husband buying meat from the store when we have all these animals on the farm that are naturally reproducing and whatever. So, quietly, in our own community, my husband would butcher our own animals. And I just realized, and all my kids watched that happen, and I struggled with that. And I watched two of my kids eat meat and two not, all knowing the full. And now one of my boy that was vegetarian is now eating meat. And just watching all of it and watching that, I don't know that it is unnatural. I was raised to believe it's unnatural, we don't need to eat meat, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I actually think it's natural. My kids tell the truth. And even my daughter, who's a vegetarian, we had a conversation with her recently about a pig that she really likes. And she said, I understand. And she's lived with us for a long time. And she never had any babies. And so, it's a lot to feed her. And she can feed my dad and my brothers. And my kids understand on a way that I don't, that's still hard for me. I'm still resisting sending this pig to processing that my husband's been trying to process for a year. And I was using my daughter as the reason because it's her pig. But the truth is, she understands much better than I do. [Speaker 3] (47:57 - 48:06) Yeah. Well, you know, breast milk isn't vegan. So, like, how do like vegan people that have kids, like, do they like not feed, do they not breastfeed? [Speaker 1] (48:06 - 48:13) No, they do. Because cow milk is for cows, human milk is for humans. But I mean, part of- I want to interview your husband. [Speaker 3] (48:13 - 48:24) Where is he? Yeah, I've never had a chance in like the two confluences and the time, even at the Sowing Sovereignty event. I've never met him personally, but I've always wanted to. Like, I just haven't had a chance to talk to him. [Speaker 1] (48:24 - 48:28) He's super insecure about his English. So, it's hard to get him to talk to people. [Speaker 3] (48:28 - 48:37) Yeah. But- He's so cool. Every time I see him walking around doing his thing, I was like, man, he's a cool dude. Sounds like a J for sure. [Speaker 1] (48:37 - 51:43) I mean, the idea that women think that we don't need men. And like, I'm a successful entrepreneur, blah, blah, blah. I was sold the bill of goods that I could have it all. Lies, lies, lies. But- And this morning, a goat is bloated on the belly and fallen on an electric fence. And like, he's going to pick it up and try to save it and then can't save it. He's going to put it out of its misery. And then he's going to salvage- then dissect it and see if it's safe to eat what's going on in its belly. And then he's going to literally sustain life for our family like that. I can't do that. I can't. I would not be able to stick a- He's saved so many animals by sticking a needle in their belly to let the air out when they've eaten something they can't eat and the air is pressure and they can't poop because there's much back pressure from gas that's built up. I don't know that I can stick a needle. I mean, I can. I've had to pull- I've been this far up a cow- a sheep or a cow pulling a baby out. I can. And there's places that the woman is a better fit, primarily in birth, I think, on the farm. But ultimately, we had floods in California. And I remember I had a new assistant I just hired that day. And my husband- the propane tank in which feeds the house is lifting off of its cinder blocks. And my husband is trying to position a tractor in place and tie the propane tank down to the tractor so it doesn't float down the driveway. He reverses into my mulberry tree. And I'm like, babe, my mulberry tree. And he's like, which is basically like, shut up. And this woman says, toxic masculinity, anyone? And I looked at her and I was like, look around. All of us, me, the assistant that was training her that was on her way out, and the new assistant, we're all in the house right now or on the front yard, like, directing traffic and cooking. And there's seven or eight men risking their lives, waist high in water out there to save animals, to save equipment, and to make sure that we can cook in the house, make sure there is propane not floating down Grand Avenue. And the idea that, yes, he's stressed out. He didn't respond with the most courtesy in that moment. But it's so interesting. Masculinity is so necessary. And toxic masculinity is one of these lies that we've repeated so much that we've started to believe it. It's literally like, and what people really are talking about when they say toxic masculinity is usually immaturity, nothing to do with masculinity, honestly. [Speaker 3] (51:44 - 52:13) This goes back to even what you're saying about the veganism and the privilege. We've gotten so comfortable and complacent and disconnected from nature. But if the shit hit the fan, all these people talking about toxic masculinity are going to be like, where where are the fucking strong men that are going to save us from like the fucking the zombies or like the fucking other people invading our borders or or fucking China coming across like who's going to save us? You know, we've just got comfortable like, oh, OK, we live in an urban environment. [Speaker 1] (52:13 - 52:25) That's why I moved to cowboy country. You think I don't want to be in L.A. If the shit hits the fan, because. Well, I have a friend Blanchard and you met. Did you? [Speaker 3] (52:25 - 52:26) Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. [Speaker 1] (52:26 - 53:19) So Blanchard always says when you look to the left and you look to the right, are the men going to be willing to fight? And if not, that's not where you want to live. And so and so he actually convinced me to move to Texas and he said he was moving to Texas. He still lives in Atlanta and he's not moved to Texas. But it's interesting. And that was part of that idea. And, you know, shockingly, do you know who the vegans that are angry at me that are attacking me that are calling me old and ugly and fat and all this stuff and a fraud? Ninety percent are young men in their 20s. And I would not. And I'm sorry. Like, that's my own preconceived notion. Like, I would have thought it would have been women. I don't know why I would have thought it would have been women, but I definitely thought it would have been women that were going to be upset. But it is young men. [Speaker 2] (53:21 - 53:26) But well, it is. It is. I mean, I guess the incredibly feminized man, you know, so it's not far off. [Speaker 1] (53:28 - 56:27) Men are incredibly feminized. It's and and you are just like it's it's easy to see how that happens if there's not a man in the home. Me and my husband treat our children totally different. And I sometimes I'm thinking he's too hard on them and asking him to back up and honey, no, no, no. But I'm talking to the baby I birthed out of my body and he's talking to the man that they will become every conversation. That is what's happening. And so when he's yelling at them or and I'm like he's doing the right thing, honestly, or when he's like, no, you can't have a brownie like, no, too many carbohydrates today. And I'm like, but he did. He did good with this. And so and he's like, so great. He did good with that. And he doesn't need to rot his teeth out of his head because of that. And I watch that my the mothering nature in me. Is important, but so is him. And I also now, if I'm totally honest, watch myself as a businesswoman and understand that there is flaws inherently in what it is to be a woman that makes you less great at business. And I'm a great businesswoman. I've made millions of dollars. I'm out. I'm successful. I operationally I'm good. That's not what I'm saying. But I had to close down a restaurant two weeks postpartum and I literally just gave up and gave the landlord a whole bunch of stuff he shouldn't have got because he was so aggressive. And I was so tired. I was still bleeding. I'm breastfeeding every two hours. And he was just like, stole my equipment. He stole all my restaurant equipment. He basically tried to call the police and say, I was removing stuff that didn't belong to me. It did belong to me. And I gave up. And in that moment, I realized there's a reason that in these high stakes situations, and I always want everybody to feel okay. And my husband doesn't have that. He's like, we don't have money. So this has to happen. And this person, we got to let them go. And I'm like, but... And that is not necessarily what needs to happen in a business environment. So I do recognize that I have shortcomings. And if I had heard someone saying this five years ago, I would have called them... I don't know what I would have called them. I would have been mad though. I would have been offended by what they're saying. And I'm not a great mother. And I'm not a great business person. I'm doing both to the best of my abilities. But I'm outsourcing a large portion of the mothering. And I'm outsourcing a large portion of the management, because you cannot do both well. It's hard to do one well. It's honestly hard to do one well. [Speaker 3] (56:28 - 56:32) You're going to get the feminists joining the vegans and protesting after that. They're coming after you. [Speaker 1] (56:33 - 57:37) Yeah. I mean, new wave feminism has sold us a bill of goods that is unfortunately detrimental. I have so many friends that wanted to have their career first and this first, and they're now no husband and no children. And it's sad. It is sad because the greatest part of my life is my family. And I didn't have my first child until I was 37 years old. There was a chance that I was not going to have any children. That's actually how life looked. No husband, no prospects. And I would say that God radically intervened in my life to have that shift. And I'm incredibly grateful for that. But we were sold a bill of goods that we could have it all, we could wait, wait, wait. And it hasn't worked out for so many of us. [Speaker 4] (57:41 - 57:44) Yeah. Thanks for sharing. [Speaker 1] (57:44 - 58:04) You can't hug your career. You cannot snuggle an excellent veggie burger. You cannot go out to dinner with your accomplishments or your bank account. It is my family that gives me purpose and has me grounded. [Speaker 3] (58:07 - 58:43) Yeah. It's pretty amazing. I just want to pat you on the back, not that you need it, but what you've done and what you've gone through to have the openness to challenge your own belief systems and to just trust yourself and go like, all right, we're getting a farm. Now we're moving. And what you've built, I mean, I remember the first Confluence, what you built in such a short period of time. I remember talking to people and they're like, oh yeah, two months ago, this structure wasn't even here. It's just like what you were able to put together to create this beautiful event. And then the second was amazing too. And I look forward to all future ones. So I just want to commend you for that. It's pretty amazing what you've created. And then obviously your family is the foundation of that. [Speaker 1] (58:45 - 1:00:42) Yeah. And I think that that's my skillset is I can bring stuff into fruition in the real world. And I literally want a skillset where I can make money online because it's really hard to do. It's hard to bring stuff into fruition in shape, form, and experience. But that is my skillset. That is what I do. And anybody that's interested in being a partner here, we're still raising money for the, it's the hospitality, the ranch restaurant, and the brewery. It's one investment. So the tidy houses, the rental houses, this is one of our rental houses I'm here in away from my children, so I can do this podcast. But yeah, that's my skillset is making something happen in the real world. And I don't get stopped by fear. I'm afraid a lot, but I don't get stopped by that fear. I don't get paralyzed. In fact, I'm better when I'm afraid. And I would say that the downfall of COVID and the downfall of my relationship, besides all the stuff that happened that was like bureaucracy, there was this cushion, the government gave this paycheck protection. So we were losing money, but there was money to pay my employees and take care of stuff and try different stuff. There wasn't a sense of urgency, like how do we pivot out of this? And I pivoted a lot and I tried a lot of things, but I'm better up against the wall. And I hate that. And I pray more when I'm up against the wall. I wish that I put my attention on God when things are feeling easier, as much as I do when things are feeling hard. But I don't know. [Speaker 2] (1:00:43 - 1:00:43) Yeah. [Speaker 1] (1:00:43 - 1:00:45) I don't know why I said that. I don't know how we got here. [Speaker 2] (1:00:45 - 1:01:08) No, it's true. I'm glad you shared. And it's very true. I was going to say it before. We're closer to ourselves and we're closer to what's really important when we're up against it. Ultimately, we strip back down to basics and it brings forth something within us which really can't come forth in the moments of comfort and ease and the rest of it. [Speaker 1] (1:01:09 - 1:01:44) Well, Yashima has heard the story, but how I ended up married was a leap of radical faith that almost nobody in the world would have taken, I think. But I had a mushroom journey that played out my abortion when I was younger and what that does to get an abortion, how there's this fabric of humanity and everything is interconnected. And when you snuff out one life, you change the entire fabric. [Speaker 2] (1:01:45 - 1:01:53) You had an abortion and went on a mushroom trip? I had an abortion when I was 22. And then I had a mushroom stroke. [Speaker 1] (1:01:53 - 1:06:48) When I was in my 30s. I never thought about it again, honestly. I grew up in a household. My mother had abortions. My aunties had abortions. I didn't grow up in a household. It was not a thing. And I had this crazy journey that was just showing. It was bloody and fetuses. But the main message was that we're all interconnected and you can't just pull one thing out and not change everything. And finally, I wanted this nightmare to end. And so I screamed like, what do you want from me? I think in my head, I don't think I said it out loud, but and the voice said to never do it again. And years later, I got pregnant on a one night stand with a cook that worked in my kitchen who was undocumented, who didn't speak any English after an altercation with my ex-husband came in the restaurant. And it was a whole drama. And I was upset and he drove me home and I slept with this guy. And two weeks later, I was pregnant. And I knew I had promised God. And so I married this person who I did not have a relationship with, who we didn't even speak the same language. And we were 13 years apart. And I knew I had promised God and people said it was a hallucination. It wasn't God. And I knew that when you know something is wrong and you do it anyway, that there's consequences. When you don't know something's wrong and you do it, it's not. I haven't experienced as much consequences. And so I knew I wanted so bad for it to just go away. It was so embarrassing. I just opened Culver City. I had all these celebrity investors and all this stuff. And I was going places and I just wanted it to go away. And I knew I couldn't. And so I chose to marry this person that I didn't know that didn't speak English and that we didn't have anything in common, literally nothing in common. And we got married and everybody thought I was totally crazy. But I said, I promised God and that the mother and the father and the child is a foundation, the triangulation of the foundation of all of life. And I have to honor that. And so I got married two weeks later to this guy that I didn't even know. And we lost the baby a couple months later. That's that miscarriage I told you about. And so everybody thought, oh, you can just be free. You can get an annulment. It hasn't even been six months, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And we were doing this big catering for Indian family. And it was for the matriarch and patriarch for their 50th wedding anniversary. We asked them, oh, well, what makes a 50-year wedding? What makes that happen? And they said, well, we were married for an arranged marriage. And so we never are looking back to when he used to love me or he used to buy me flowers. We're always looking forward to what we're building for our family and for each other. And we're building the love over year over year instead of having it fade away year over year. And so that night via Google Translate, we had a conversation that maybe the baby arranged our marriage and that we had to do the work. And I was 36 and he was 23. And it's not been easy. I don't want to say like, oh, and then everything worked out perfect. And he just was a super mature adult in the next year. It's been hard. He struggled with alcohol. We've had all types of struggled with massive insecurity that I only married him. I mean, I did only marry him and asking over and over, well, why did you marry me? Because God told me to. I just kept saying that over and over because that's the truth. And so we now have our four children. And then Osmar, who I believe is the soul that I aborted, came back to me and we adopted him in high school from Guatemala. And he found me on the internet and was totally drawn to me. And he came to a volunteer day on the farm. And so after I realized when he was born and how the timeline works out, I'm pretty sure, and he tells the story too, that he felt like he needed to be with me, like I was his people, even though he didn't speak English. And I was just like a white lady on YouTube doing videos about spent grain and cows or whatever. And so he came to a volunteer day and he never left and we adopted him eventually. And so I believe I have all five of my children. [Speaker 2] (1:06:51 - 1:06:51) My goodness. [Speaker 1] (1:06:52 - 1:07:30) And that was because of radical faith. And I don't think we have radical faith anymore. And that is why the government is overreaching, is we don't trust anyone. We don't trust each other. We don't trust our siblings. We don't trust our gut and we don't trust God. And we don't trust our gut because our gut is so disconnected from the microbiology that would be informing us of what needs to happen that we can't trust it anymore. So I believe we have to get back to radical faith and deep, deep community where we trust each other. And that things can go wrong and we can fight and we can disagree and we will commit to work it out. [Speaker 2] (1:07:32 - 1:08:02) I mean, you just embody this message of here for the truth in every single way. I mean, I'm gobsmacked as to your journey and your story and this experience that you continue to live. So like your adopted son was watching you on YouTube and he himself had a feeling that I need to be near this person and he came to volunteer. And it so worked out, even his birth timeline around the time that this aborted. [Speaker 1] (1:08:02 - 1:08:45) He was born two years after my abortion. Yeah. So let's see. He got very sick when he came to the United States. And so he started to Google, can American food make you sick or USA food? My husband and Osmar would never say America because they don't relate to the United States as America because they both come from American countries south of us. So I have to retrain myself. This is not America. It's USA. So he Googled, can USA food make you sick? And he found Mark Hyman and Mark Hyman told him about regenerative agriculture. And then he found me on YouTube. [Speaker 2] (1:08:45 - 1:08:47) And how old was he at that point? [Speaker 1] (1:08:47 - 1:08:53) He was in high school. So like 16, I think it was early or 17, early pandemic. [Speaker 3] (1:08:54 - 1:08:54) Yeah. [Speaker 1] (1:08:55 - 1:08:57) 16, maybe going on 17. [Speaker 3] (1:08:57 - 1:09:06) I remember meeting him at the Sowing Sovereignty event. And we were there during the time where like, was it your, the lambs or goats gave birth? [Speaker 1] (1:09:07 - 1:09:07) Yeah. [Speaker 3] (1:09:08 - 1:09:13) And he was there like handling it all and doing it was like, so it's such a, again, like such a cool dude. And his presence was really beautiful. [Speaker 1] (1:09:14 - 1:10:11) He's so extraordinary. And just recently started to push up against me a little bit. And my husband's like mad about it. And I was like, it's honestly good. He was in Guatemala with his grandmother. Then he came during the Trump administration to reconnect with his parents, came as an unaccompanied minor, who knows what kind of trauma he saw and was exposed to during that time. And then reconnected with his parents that he hadn't seen in 13 years or 14 years. And you're in a house of essentially strangers because you haven't seen them in all that time. So he never got to maybe rebel. And so I think it's okay. I think it means that he feels safe and loved for him to push up against me. And whenever I say, hey, that hurt my feelings or whatever, he's quick to say like, I'm sorry, I didn't want to hurt your feelings. And so... [Speaker 2] (1:10:11 - 1:10:38) Yeah. I mean, this is like, just this is like, blows the rational mind. It's like, how many different threads there are and connections that can be made and how much divinity and something else that's guiding and bringing people together and bringing circumstances about, you know, like, you were 36, 37, and you have a completely new life from what you... [Speaker 1] (1:10:38 - 1:10:39) Totally different life. [Speaker 2] (1:10:39 - 1:10:41) From what you lived previous to that. Yeah. [Speaker 1] (1:10:42 - 1:11:17) Because of a mushroom journey that was totally years before. And I didn't even tell anybody. I just held that inside, like, nah, I'm not gonna tell anybody. It's interesting. My father had a journey on ayahuasca, repenting for all of his abortions with my mother. And the similar thing was that even though the medicine was ayahuasca and mushrooms, but the similar thing was that everything is interconnected. And you cannot just remove one piece without there being consequences. [Speaker 4] (1:11:18 - 1:11:18) Yeah. [Speaker 1] (1:11:20 - 1:12:00) And so I'm super... Yeah, so I don't tell anybody else what to do, but I made that choice. And I made the choice even beyond is that we don't use any birth control. Like, I believe it's up to God. And so if I have more children, it's up to God. And if I don't have more children, it's up to God. And that is... Be fruitful and multiply. Like, that's what we're here to do. And the psyop that we're overpopulated and that we shouldn't and we're the problem. And no, we need more awake and healthy humans on the planet. We need more of that. [Speaker 3] (1:12:01 - 1:12:02) I agree. [Speaker 1] (1:12:03 - 1:15:07) And the sperm count of men is dropping. It's already 50% of what it was in the 70s. And at the rate we're going, we'll be at zero in 2040, according to Zach Bush. So my son, Sol, was born in 2019. Therefore, he will be 21 years old. I want him to be able to make love with a woman and have children if he so desires. And that's what drives my commitment to the land. My husband says all the time, like, do we have to do everything with how you think God would want us to? And I'm like, yeah. And he's like, it's always the hard way. And I know there's ways to do things that are not right and easier ways. But I want the ripple effect of my life to make a difference. And Sage may not make it. But I believe that the catalyst of this conversation has put events in motion that has so many more people interested, looking at or moving in that direction. And that is what I view my job on a planetary view, on an expanded view, is that my job is to have that ripple effect of having people see the world different. And to change your mind publicly is so hard. And so I've done that, changed my mind publicly about abortion, changed my mind publicly about, you know, what is it possible to be a great mother and be a great business person. And I'm not saying you can't be a good mom and a good business person. I think I'm a good mom and I think I'm a good business person. But I would be better mom if I wasn't a business person. I'd be a better business person if I wasn't a mom. It's just the truth. And I think that changing our mind publicly does something to let other people do that. And I also think speaking the truth in an authentic way, where people can hear it cuts through the room is important. Because so many lies are being repeated so many times a day. And that noise is making it hard for people to discern the truth. But if you can speak from your heart with the most clarity of I'm walking in alignment with divine intelligence to the best of my ability and the best of my knowledge, people can hear that. And when they hear that, maybe it gives them the ability to discern some of the lies that are swirling around us. [Speaker 3] (1:15:08 - 1:15:36) Yeah. I remember at Confluence, it was in April and you said that you were going to make, you know, you're switching, you know, your restaurants and you're going to make the announcement. And I was like, I was waiting. I was like, when's this going to happen? Like, what's going to go down? But like, again, respect to you because most people wouldn't do what you did. You know, so again, whatever comes after comes after. But most people don't admit like, hey, I was wrong with how I viewed things and I've changed. And now I'm going to, you know, apply these changes to like my business. [Speaker 1] (1:15:37 - 1:16:01) And now I might have to say I was wrong how I handled it. Maybe I needed to handle the vegan side of my clientele with more kid gloves or more tenderness. And maybe I was too, I don't know. However, my message was, it didn't resonate. People didn't hear that I am in it for the animals. [Speaker 2] (1:16:01 - 1:16:50) You can't control that. I mean, you can give as much niceties and platitudes and, you know, try to perfectly curate this message to cut through. But people are going to hear what they want to hear and they're going to be triggered in the way that they're going to be triggered. And, you know, you can't control that. But I think what's most powerful is just commitment to the truth, you know, and what that means to you. And the impact is the impact and the fallout is the fallout. But I think ultimately, you're recognizing within yourself that this ultimately is leading me towards something greater and to a higher path. And just staying with the familiar, staying with the status quo, despite something internally within you being like, no, it's time for a shift. You know, you rob yourself of life force when you deny that, when you neglect that. Are you making decisions in this way so powerfully? I mean, I think it's incredible. [Speaker 1] (1:16:51 - 1:18:13) And I think that 90% of people's inability to get a business off the ground in the world is their own mind in the way, and then wanting to know how it's going to go. People ask me questions, like I have a, you can sign up on my website for coaching. And people ask me these questions all the time. And I might, see, you're still searching for that, you want it to know how it's going to go before you get there. And we never know, that is an illusion. Even if you do all this research, and you do all this thing, and you think you know how it's going to go, we never know how it's going to go. If you had told me five years ago, I was going to live in Texas, in a tiny little 500 person town, I would have told you, you're crazy. There's no circumstances in life that would have that happen. And that's what happened. Because I had a business worth bajillions of dollars, I had a farm, I had a family, I had, and all of that was based in California. Maybe that's all crumbling down, because there's something I have to do here. I was led here, and I don't know what it is. [Speaker 2] (1:18:13 - 1:18:24) But there's something else that wants to be born. It just speaks to that saying, God knows what's better for us than we do, or what we want better than we know. [Speaker 1] (1:18:24 - 1:18:32) Have you ever looked back on something really bad, and look back and saw, wow, that was actually for my greater good? [Speaker 3] (1:18:33 - 1:18:33) I do it all the time. [Speaker 2] (1:18:34 - 1:18:34) All the time. [Speaker 3] (1:18:34 - 1:18:53) I don't even have to look back that, shortly after an event happens, I feel like, I'm like, oh man, this sucked, but fuck, it was so good, it was important. And I think that's what's important for people to, can they reframe that? Or do they stay in a victim state? Why me? Why this happened to me? As opposed to, wow, this experience catapulted me to the next level of my evolution. [Speaker 1] (1:18:54 - 1:20:02) And I think that I did, I've never really been a victim kind of person. It's not just my personality. I've never felt victim-y. But I did, for a moment during COVID, feel like I was robbed. Like I worked all these years, 10 years, built this business, and was in the contract to sell it for $25 million, and it just- That's tough. That's tough. And so I did feel, and momentarily I go into that, like, the other day my kid said, he said, mom, what does it mean that we were this close to private jet lifestyle? And I was like, it's kind of a joke. We wouldn't have been a private jet lifestyle if we didn't have that much money. But it means that we were this, he must've heard me say that at some point. And he said, well, when I get big, I'll build you a jet. And I said, oh, thank you, honey. But you say things and then kids pick up on everything. And he's like, what does that mean that we were this close to private jet lifestyle? [Speaker 2] (1:20:03 - 1:20:37) This just makes the whole concept also of tough grace. The way that the path unfolds isn't always just like magic and rainbows in order for you to get to where you need to be. It's not just meditate on top of a mountain, think positively, and you're going to get the life that you want. I think the real life that we want, that we really want on a deeper level comes about through signs and synchronicities and experiences that aren't all necessarily positive on a surface level. [Speaker 1] (1:20:38 - 1:21:48) I don't think me and my husband's relationship would have survived. I think that if my business that he married into made all this money, and then I had enough money to pay someone to do whatever I needed done, there would have been a chance that I would have not come to the conclusions I've come to around masculinity and manhood and honoring the man's role in the relationship. And there's a chance that I would have lost my marriage. And I'm not saying that that's 100%. We could have found our path. But I think there's a chance that dropping that amount of money into our marriage that was solely from something that I built. There's a good chance that that would have impacted his ability to take the male leadership role that needs to be taken by a man in a marriage. And there is a chance that I would have held the cards in a way that would have kept the balance of power in an unnatural way. [Speaker 2] (1:21:48 - 1:22:01) Got you. Yeah. Can you speak to your relationship now? How do you guys feel about each other? Where are you at? How has your love, I guess, grown? I know. [Speaker 1] (1:22:02 - 1:25:56) We love each other very much. I feel really lucky. I've shifted the way that I am in a lot of ways to accommodate culturally things that are important to him. It's important for me to bring him coffee in the morning. It's important for me to cook meals for him or to make a plate even if someone else cooked a meal. And so I've shifted my behaviors. I used to just resist and be angry. And then he would be angry about things that I couldn't even understand, like you're angry because I didn't cook dinner, but you didn't ask me to cook dinner. So I asked if you want me to bring you home food. You said no, I just cooked all day at work. We'd have these conversations. And so I've shifted things and he has shifted things. He only drinks on Fridays and Saturdays, and he doesn't drink the rest of the week. And I would like him to not drink at all. But I also understand that it's not for me to decide for him. He has to decide. And we still make love with each other a lot. I never say no. I think that men have more of a desire for sex than women, and obviously the age difference. And I think it's important that women understand participating in their significant other coming is really important, specifically if they're in a relationship with a man. I have never been in a relationship with a woman. But I think it's important to participate in your husband having that release. And I think that it's easy to get into our heads like we're tired, we're this, we're that. But my husband never said that he's too tired to drag something with the tractor that I want over here, or do this, or these other things that bring me joy. And so I never say no. And I think that people think that's weird. I don't. I think that I wouldn't want my husband to just say no because he feels tired to whatever I'm asking. Hey, honey, can you take the baby? I want to get in the shower. No, I'm tired. That would be weird. And so I believe that biologically to be a man, they put more attention on their private parts than I do. And that release is more important to them. And so I make an effort to make sure that that is managed in my household. And I think that we still argue, we still deal with his father never, his father and mother never talks things out. So literally the act of talking stuff out is irritating to him. And I'm like, come from a family that processed everything. So there's always navigating. I have to wait often. He gets angry and I have to wait. I want to process it right then. I don't want to hold it overnight. A lot of times it's better for him to process the next day. And we're always learning and growing. He just saw an Instagram thing the other day that men that kiss their wives for at least six seconds live longer. And so he's like, I don't have to stop drinking if I just kiss you for six seconds every day before I leave the house. So now he's like, wait, wait, wait. I need to get my six seconds so I can live longer. I mean, we joke and we have a lot of fun and we have a lot of children. A lot of our life is spent taking care of children and taking care of business. We're on our phones too much. We spend time that is alone on our phones too much. I think that happens to all of us. Or maybe we're navigating like how can we put our phones away at a certain time of the night? And how can we just automatically go to scrolling because the conversation stopped for two seconds. [Speaker 2] (1:25:56 - 1:25:59) Let's scroll. That's not unique to any of you guys. [Speaker 1] (1:25:59 - 1:27:10) So yeah, that's how and we live here in Texas and he leads in certain areas and I lead in certain areas and it's still financially I lead and it's hard. Sometimes I'm crying and I feel like I'm like it's your burden. I don't want to have this burden. And especially right now as things are crumbling and he says, well, we can always move to Mexico and I'll take it on. And he goes, but you wanted a big life with big financial requirements. So I'm going to let you continue to lead in that area. So we have an extraordinarily good life. One of our best friends, Trevor lives with us. And sometimes when we're like bickering or whatever, Trevor's like just sitting there drinking his IPA like this is my favorite show. You guys are the best. But we live in community. There's a lot. It's a lot, you know, but and we're I don't think that he's going anywhere. I don't think I'm going anywhere. I think that we're very committed to each other. And even when we get angry or frustrated, we're highly committed. [Speaker 3] (1:27:11 - 1:27:12) Amazing. [Speaker 1] (1:27:12 - 1:27:13) Thank you for sharing. [Speaker 3] (1:27:13 - 1:27:27) Thank you. Yeah. Thanks for being sober. I mean, that's what I love about you. You're just so real and honest and raw. And you got that East Coastness to you that I really love too, because I come from the East Coast. So just appreciate you spending time with us and going on this journey of dialogue and conversation. I feel like we covered so much. [Speaker 1] (1:27:28 - 1:27:33) I feel like we did not get people to go to Sage. So that's my next thing. [Speaker 3] (1:27:33 - 1:27:40) How can people support you? How can people get the word out? How can people help keep Sage open and just like, again, support you in any way? [Speaker 1] (1:27:41 - 1:29:29) We have the Sovereignty Ranch in Texas. It's a hospitality ranch. We have 40 beds. So plan your family reunion, plan your wedding, plan a yoga retreat, plan your office. We're doing like a doctor's office, like group building, like any kind of thing that you could imagine. We're here. We're trying to finish the brewery. So I'm finishing raising money. If anybody wants to invest in a regenerative brewery in the Hill Country of Texas, and if you are in Los Angeles, Echo Park and Pasadena are open for business, all regenerative, full transparency, where the food is coming from. You'd be crazy to eat anywhere else in LA. There's nobody doing what we're doing. And I know that because you can't get the ingredients in LA, like I'm getting pallets and having to pay for storage and all this stuff, because these ingredients are not readily available to chefs. But we can change that by changing our habits and changing how we eat. And people ask me all the time, what can I do to support what you're doing? And it's not about me individually. It is about decentralization of the food system. I believe that it is a national security issue. We can talk about weapons. We can talk about oil, but it's air, water, food. So we need to not have four companies pack our food. So please buy from a local farmer. And if you live local to me, buy. And we're going to launch our farm store here on Sovereignty Ranch, and we'll be selling stuff that we grow soon as well. But buy from a local farmer, please, and support regenerative farmers because there isn't subsidies for what we're doing. And don't compare the prices to people that are getting subsidies. [Speaker 3] (1:29:30 - 1:29:44) Yeah. Yeah. I mean, listen, my wife and I came with a bunch of people to your restaurant. It was amazing. The food was delicious. So again, if you're in the area, go have an amazing meal. And what websites can people go to? [Speaker 2] (1:29:44 - 1:29:50) Well, if there is someone listening that feels inspired on an investment level, how can they contact you as well? [Speaker 1] (1:29:50 - 1:30:49) On the Sovereignty Ranch website, the deck is there so you can browse around without having to show your interest. And then if you are interested, you can reach out at SovereigntyRanch.com and then SageRegenKitchen.com for the restaurants. And then I think on both websites, if you want coaching from me, I literally, I am not an expert in anything except for listening to your own intuition and trusting that you're all being led. And so if you want coaching in that, I'm not an expert on anything except for following what I believe God is asking me to do. And so that you can go to the Sovereignty Ranch website and there's a page for that. And I'm Chef Molly on Instagram and on YouTube. And I don't have a TikTok yet, but I'm going to try to start one because I heard that I should. [Speaker 3] (1:30:49 - 1:31:00) I love it. We'll have all those links down there for sure in our show notes. I really love this conversation and it's just nice to connect with you more and get to know you more. And I look forward to seeing you again soon. [Speaker 1] (1:31:02 - 1:32:23) I have one last thing I just want to leave people with is, and I talked about this on Instagram the other day, but just reconnect yourself to nature. Nature never, ever lies. It's always telling the truth on full display in this amazing, extraordinary display of how it all works together. And so we're being lied to so, so, so, so, so much. And we talk about this here on the ranch all the time, like, oh, do you think that person's telling, do you think they're real? Do you think that what they're saying is the truth? It's constantly trying to use our discernment because there's so much information out there and so many people telling you the opposite of what someone else has told you. And it really comes down to that we have to learn to trust our gut. And the only way we can do that is to connect with nature. And then by connecting with nature, replenishing the microbiome of our gut so that secondary brain can hear God, can hear nature. So, I'm just asking everybody, find your way to reconnect with nature, get your hands in the soil and eat food that came of soil, not from hydroponic towers in a city. [Speaker 2] (1:32:24 - 1:33:05) Molly, you're amazing. Thank you so much. I've absolutely loved this conversation and I've got no doubt that everyone listening has been deeply inspired by everything that you shared. So, thanks for being here. Everyone else, thanks for listening. Take care. Bro, it's so interesting. Sometimes, we schedule these guests and think the conversation is going to stick in a certain lane and go a certain way. But then people just surprise you with their experiences and their openness and the realness and the depth. And so interesting when someone is really, really honest with themselves and is committed to truth. The story and the journey is amazing. [Speaker 3] (1:33:06 - 1:33:54) Yeah. She may have shared one or both or those stories at an event that I just didn't see or didn't listen to. But it's really incredible. And also, I appreciate that we aren't so rigid and strict and have a list of seven questions ever. I mean, we don't. We approach these interviews organically and hear about a person's stories. And it's just so cool to see what she's navigated, what she's been through. I mean, to be days away from potentially signing on a dotted line and getting $10 million or $25 million and then your life takes a different direction. But again, that whole idea of divine intelligence and that there's a life waiting for you that you can't even consciously realize. You and I have had this conversation multiple times in relation to our lives. [Speaker 2] (1:33:55 - 1:34:35) Yeah. Absolutely, man. You can't control everything. No one has perfect foresight as to what their life's going to be like or how it's going to play out. And honestly, the best that you can do is be as real as possible with yourself every single step of the way and cultivate an element of trust in something higher or in something greater unfolding for you that you can't fathom from your current experience or from your current vantage point. And there's beauty in all of it. There's beauty in the trials and in the tribulation. And I think this conversation is just another testament to that reality. [Speaker 3] (1:34:36 - 1:34:59) Yeah. And it's another reminder to focus your gaze inwards. Yeah. And especially when hard things happen, like she said, can you look back in reflection and be like, oh, wow, that experience, that pain, that suffering, that left turn instead of a right turn really played a role in me being who I am and helped me graduate to the next level of my personal development and personal understanding. [Speaker 4] (1:34:59 - 1:34:59) Yeah. [Speaker 2] (1:35:00 - 1:36:08) No, for sure. One thing that Molly wanted us to mention, which she didn't get the chance to at the end of that conversation was that she's also hosting a homesteading course in October. And if people are interested in that, they can also learn more about it at her Sovereignty Ranch website, which we will leave in the show notes as well as everything else. Guys, rise above the herd. Doors are now closed. And we're really looking forward to this journey with our current amazing cohort. In the meantime, if you feel the call, Friends of the Truth is a membership community. Our listeners, our fans, people who are interested in what we talk about in these conversations come together and receive a lot of value. We're doing actually seven calls in August. So if you're down, you can see the full August schedule at our website. And if you're down to join for what I think is incredible value, $17 on a basic membership or $39 to get full access to the community and to make connections and network and stuff like that, then learn more at friendsofthetruth.co or hit the link in the show notes.