Peta Kelly The Beauty of God's Design

Joel 00:00:02.480 - 00:01:05.330 Peter Kelly is a mother of three, a wife and the self published author of four books including the award winning Earth Is Hiring with a new luxury coffee table book releasing in January next year. She's an eldest daughter, she played elite soccer for 15 years and in her early 20s she built an eight figure sales organization in the holistic health space. Her passions include creative integrity, self honesty, home birth, raising resilient children and her evolving wellness philosophy, body Luxury. She studied homeopathy, Germany, medicine, detox, and most recently, I think I'm pronouncing it correctly, Freya. With Dr. Sasha Teshik, a former boss babe now reclaiming her femininity, she's also exploring the true way of Jesus beyond cultural Christianity. Ultimately, she believes, like us, that self honesty is the beginning of all healing. She hosts the Good Women podcast, she writes the Honeycomb substack, and most importantly, we need to note that she has amazing situational awareness as a result of growing up in the field of Perth, Australia. Peta 00:01:06.450 - 00:01:52.650 Yeah, that's exactly right. That's exactly right. That's the most important thing, I think. You know when you were saying what you buy, I was like, how, what do I give you like my university degrees or do I give you like the real me? Which is like, you know, that, that you could never jump me in the streets. You just couldn't, you just couldn't do that. And it's like, it's funny because when I've had my friends on my, I've just started a podcast as a true manifesto. I'm like, I don't know how many seasons I'm going to go. But anyway, she my head. I've had my brother on and I've had a friend since I was five on and I've had my mom on and we've just spoken about the hood that we grew up in and people assume that you can't have any hoods in Perth, Western Australia. It's not true. It's not true. You know what I mean? You have the areas. Joel 00:01:53.130 - 00:02:01.130 There's definitely, there's definitely areas. I've never been to Perth myself, but I grew up in Fairfield in Western Sydney, so I know a little bit about hoods myself. Yerasimos 00:02:02.330 - 00:02:04.570 I have actually been to Perth, so. Joel 00:02:04.810 - 00:02:05.290 Wow. Yerasimos 00:02:06.010 - 00:02:27.330 Yeah, I feel proud as a, as an American. I've been to Perth. I studied abroad in 2001 in Sydney, Australia. And during my time there I met someone who was worked at a local hotel. Really cool, cool human being. And he, and he lived in Perth. And so after my program was done, I was like, I'll come hang out in Perth for like a week. And I think I stayed away from the hood, though. But it was a good time. Joel 00:02:27.490 - 00:02:29.730 You're lucky. You're lucky you never cross paths with Peter, bro. Yerasimos 00:02:31.490 - 00:02:33.330 I'd, like jump to the other side of the road. Peta 00:02:33.890 - 00:03:32.840 Yeah. Yeah. You know, there'd be times where I remember I was pregnant with my first child and I was living in America, and I was in San Antonio, Texas, and I was walking. I was writing my first book, and I was walking down the street by myself with my laptop in my hand and someone was coming across the street, and I had to, you know, employ my strategies and make myself look really psycho so they wouldn't come. But, you know, it's. You develop these. You develop these strategies at the time. Like, you'd be on the public bus and you'd have to watch whoever got on the bus because sometimes people would get on with a syringe, other times people would just get on with a broken bottle. And you'd need a time it. Do I get off at this stop? Do I get off at this. This stop? If I get off at this stop, I've got to sprint through that alleyway, you know, like, constantly. And. And it's good. And because, like I tell my husband now, like everybody says, it's bad to live with hyper vigilance. I'm like, look, is it really. Is it really that bad? Yerasimos 00:03:34.760 - 00:03:45.310 People don't have to be aware of your surroundings. You know what I mean? It's like you have to respond appropriately to the environment that you're in, the situation that's facing you. I mean, that's healthy. And that's actually what regulation is. Joel 00:03:45.310 - 00:03:45.830 Is like. Yerasimos 00:03:46.390 - 00:03:57.870 Like, if you're sure, if you're hyper vigilant while you're on a beach in Mexico, you know, chilling with, like a pina colada in your hand, that maybe that's not the ideal time if you're living in that environment? For sure. Yeah. Joel 00:03:57.870 - 00:04:16.830 I don't know how many people will recognize at least their listeners. Like the underbelly of Australia, like, on that side. I've got so many. I've got so many comments. Oh, before I moved to Mexico. Are you afraid of Mexico? The cartels, this, that, like, someone was stabbed to death on my street near Wollongong, where I used to live in Australia, the month that I left. And it's like, I don't know. Peta 00:04:17.710 - 00:04:34.990 Yeah, yeah, yep, exactly. There was a. I mean, this was a drug guy, you know, in our local area, too, was knocked off and we all knew about. It was a normal thing in high school. We were like, oh, yeah, yeah. You know, I think you had a guest on. I think you had a guest on that. Grew up in my postcode. Joel 00:04:35.310 - 00:04:35.870 Okay. Peta 00:04:36.350 - 00:04:41.390 Remember I commented on it? Was it, oh, he lives in Austin now. I've just lost his name. Joel 00:04:42.360 - 00:04:43.960 Aussie that lives in Austin. Peta 00:04:47.400 - 00:04:49.560 He co. He's a coach. I think he coached. Yerasimos 00:04:50.040 - 00:04:52.280 It's. It's Stefanos. Stefanos, yes. Joel 00:04:54.520 - 00:04:55.080 Okay. Peta 00:04:55.640 - 00:04:58.040 Yep. He grew up in my exact postcode. Joel 00:04:58.120 - 00:04:58.560 Wow. Peta 00:04:58.560 - 00:05:01.400 So when I saw your episode, I was like, yes, that's my guy. Joel 00:05:03.560 - 00:05:04.120 Amazing. Peta 00:05:04.120 - 00:05:09.890 He might have lived in a nicer part of it, though. I think he lived in a nicer part of it. I don't know. All good, Doug? Joel 00:05:10.130 - 00:05:31.810 Yeah, well, we're kind of. We're kind of turning the pages over already. But one way we always like to kick off these conversations is we really want to get deep into your personal hero's journey. Some of the major rites of passages that, you know, really defined who you are today. Like, obviously in reading that bio, you've been through a lot. You've created a lot, you've built a lot. You keep evolving. So where does this story kind of start? Peta 00:05:32.930 - 00:06:51.600 Oh, I don't know. I mean, when does it start? I mean, I suppose I always think it's important to mention my upbringing. My mum was a single mum, four kids. I was the eldest daughter. I think that's very. Gives a lot away, you know what I mean? Why? You've done so many things and. Yeah, so my mum, bald head, tattoos, you know, she did what she had to do. She had. She was a full time high school English teacher. She was kind of the one that nobody messed with. And a very, very, very good soul. She taught me goodness and what goodness really means at its core. Selflessness, community, and also resilience. She raised us to be very resilient, to not be victims, to. To really get up and get on with it. I think that would have been her. Her motto, you know, And. And so I see now, even as. As a mother to my three kids, I see how much of her modeling influence me. My sense of integrity, my sense of community and honesty. And also not wallowing, you know, in. In things that happen. And so I'm very, very grateful for. Sorry, is my door slamming bothering you back there? Yerasimos 00:06:52.560 - 00:06:53.400 I didn't even hear it. Peta 00:06:53.400 - 00:10:56.600 Okay, all right. All good. So, yeah, I think that was. I think that was an important part. We grew up very athletic. You know, I did every single sport you possibly could. I went to the nationals with soccer, and then started partying and kind of gave that away and went straight into university to study the body. And as a typical eldest daughter, you know, I'm going to be doctor by the time I'm 25. And I was well on my way to do that. I did my honors thesis, my research, got my PhD scholarship, and then started. And then I was about six months in and I was proposing my, my, My thesis for the next three years of work. And I just started to develop like an anxiety, which I can put down to just being on the wrong path. I knew it was very hard to walk into my supervisor's office and tell her that, because how do you put that into science words? I couldn't. I just burst into tears and said, look, I just. I just can't do this right now. And when traveling around Asia, long story short, that's how I fell into my first business, which was in network marketing. And I was very young and I built an enormous organization there. And it taught me a lot about leadership, about people, about, yeah, early. About money, about success, about what matters in life, about speaking to enormous audiences, about sales, you know, things that many people are doing now online. They wouldn't call it the same thing, but essentially, yeah, it is all the same thing, you know, But I was young and so I was thrust into a spotlight, I'd say, within that organization that was at the time. I was like, this is fine. But looking back, I was like, well, that was a lot. It was a lot, you know, and then especially growing up in Perth, which is a very small place, a lot of people had a lot to say about it. There was a lot. There was a mega pylon from my hometown and, um, you know, I was in the police station at some point. Stalkers, just. And you imagine you're 24 years old and you're experiencing this success, but you're working your ass off for it, you know, and you have. My goals was to retire my mum, my single mum of four from her career because she was headed financially who knows where if I, you know, as the eldest daughter, I, I always felt very responsible for my mum because my dad and my mum separated when I was 4. And I really tried to step in to fill that role emotionally and also financially. It was always my goal as a child to support my mom financially, which is natural, but it is, it is just what it was for me. And so I thought I'd do that by really going off in my science career. And I was ticking all those boxes in it. And then when I understood the power of marketing and team building and I was in holistic wellness, which was always my thing, I did. I retired my mum. I paid off her mortgage and I satisfied those eldest daughter goals that I had. And those, those duties, like a deep sense of duty for me. And many people don't get it. It's just. But it's a very. It was a very real thing for me. My whole life I felt like I was too. I mean, in a home, if the father is not in the home and still connected with my dad, but he wasn't in our home. We were raised exclusively by my mum in her home. Something natural happens where the oldest daughter does step into that role. I would always tell my siblings, like, don't you get it? Like, they would, you know, I'd try and tell them my mum's story, how she was abandoned in the Womb in the 1950s. And she doesn't know her dad, by the way. My mom is Greek. Her dad, her dad, she was born out of wedlock anyway, so her dad abandoned her in the womb and then had a family. However, he was a Greek, a. A Roman, Greco, like, wrestler in the Olympics. A Greek wrestler in the Olympics, Yes. Yerasimos 00:10:59.240 - 00:11:01.960 Some good, Some good stock, though. Some good stock, you know? Peta 00:11:02.600 - 00:11:36.800 Yeah. And he's like pretty famous in the wrestling world. But I never say his name publicly because he never owned my mum as his daughter. So she has siblings in her area in Perth who don't know that she exists. And we know they exist, but they don't know that we exist. So every time I speak about on a podcast, I don't say his name because I'm like, so we have this whole Greek family that we didn't get to know. I never got to smash the plates. I got the olive skin. I got the really, really quick tanning skin, which, hallelujah. But also I didn't get the passport. Joel 00:11:37.360 - 00:11:37.880 You talk with. Yerasimos 00:11:37.880 - 00:11:40.240 You talk with your hands a lot too. You got that as well. Peta 00:11:40.640 - 00:11:55.140 All of. But. And my mom is like, you know, she's. She's bald and tattooed and everything like that, but she looks great. You know what I mean? She said she's like sixth generation Australian as well, but she's. Anyway, so that was another little sidestep to just let you know. Yerasimos 00:11:55.140 - 00:11:56.060 Thanks for sharing that. Peta 00:11:56.300 - 00:15:17.810 Yeah. So, yeah. So then just became about success. Like setting a goal and following, like setting a goal, like independence and doing hard things was never hard for me. That was always in my nature. It wasn't when people would say well, how did you do that? I mean, what are you talking about, manifest? Yeah. Like what do you, what do you mean you're having trouble? Like when people would say, oh, I've been doing this thing and I've been working on it for two years, I'm like, why have you been working on it for that long? Like, hurry up. Like, I just, I could never understand, like not just move on and because you know, obviously their energies, when it moves, it moves really fast. And then you're like, okay, leave me alone for, for five months. But so, yeah, so I built this enormous organization then. And then from there I went on to multiple different creative projects, books. And then I, I met my husband actually early on in that piece. His, his family founded the company that I was with, so my husband's parents founded that company. So I met my husband through that company and then began a new chapter for me and learning to look. When you're a hyper independent woman and you're used to doing everything for yourself and then you meet a man who wants to be, wants to provide in that way. It took me a very long time. We've been married 10 years in next June took me, I'd say that's one of the greatest achievements of my life. Coming from my history is a successful marriage. Not to say we haven't been through our stuff. We separate at one point. It was a low, low, low moment for us both. We had two children already at that time. But yeah, that's a huge part of my journey. I'd say the success taking care of people, duty, responsibility, that was just like breathing to me because if, if I say I'm going to do something, if I have people to care for, if I have duty and responsibility, I will do that. But like receiving from my husband took, took many, many years. I'd wrestle him for the bill, you know, ridiculous things like that. And then I would. I had my first child, 2017, beautiful home birth. And this is a wonderful start to motherhood. And I was editing my first book at the time too. And it has taken me a while to get that sweet spot of creative expression and, and being a stay at home mom, which I am, which was always important to me before I even found a partner, was that I would be available to my children that would be have this like rogue life with homeschool and, and that's something I write and talk about a lot. Is that wrestle between being creatively expressed in the world, which I do believe women have always had an outlet. Right? Women have always had an outlet that's not this modern thing, but then not getting caught up in the, the ego of it, the self importance, the need to be relevant, the try hard stuff. Yerasimos 00:15:17.810 - 00:15:20.010 That, the boss, the boss babe vibe. Peta 00:15:20.010 - 00:15:40.450 You know, a little bit, the proving and the like, I suppose all the shadows regarding this online Persona. And whenever I would sense myself getting caught up in any of that, I would delete it for nine months and just go off on my merry way. Which is probably a very manifested thing to do. Is just like, bye. Yerasimos 00:15:42.370 - 00:15:43.010 For sure. Peta 00:15:44.100 - 00:15:44.300 Yeah. Yerasimos 00:15:44.300 - 00:16:04.820 When did you, when did you like first get into like, inner work? Like, obviously you're like, you're the eldest, you're a manifester, you're creating, you're doing your thing. But when were you like, okay, like, let me turn the gaze inwards and like realize why I have the patterns that I have. Like, you were raised the way you were raised and you're like, okay, let me, let me figure out myself more on a deeper level. Peta 00:16:06.020 - 00:17:44.300 I think it was around 2011. I think it was around then because I definitely went through my party years, you know, definitely, definitely did that and gave that a good nudge and then luckily got it out of my system quite early before I went into this business. But I remember in 2011 listening to Earl Nightingale the Stranger Secret in my car in a cd. It was the CD days. And listening to that, you know, I, at the time I could recite the whole thing in his voice. And that was the thing that opened me up to, okay, I'm not my circumstances. I am in constant participation with the universe. God's creation. He created this mechanism for us to participate with and to create and we are participants. That opened me up to understanding, like my responsibility as a participant and as a creator. And that it gave me, you know, that that was really what opened, opened it all up for me was that. And then I, you know, it's been what, 14 years of, of many types of self discovery and some very effective and some, some just quite self indulgent. I think I, I think some of it was very effective. And when it's the, the, the work I love the most is when you are just so honest. And I love, I love being piercingly honest with myself. It's the only way you get anywhere. And even when I do, like I'm doing this Freya course right now with Dr. Sasha. Yerasimos 00:17:44.300 - 00:17:46.060 Yeah, I want to, definitely want to get into that. Peta 00:17:46.220 - 00:21:25.200 Yeah, it's, I mean we're about to finish, but it's. And someone said to me, just got to know he's very direct. And then. And, you know, he's. He's very direct. I was like, that is what I need. And. And as he's talking through his program, I'm not finding any of it direct or confronting. I'm just like, yes, tell me. Like, give me stuff to dig out of myself and to turf out of myself. And I found that the things that didn't work for me on the self discovery were the things that were just love and light and, you know, self indulgence that keeps you looping around and around and around. It is only through being willing to be so honest with the parts of yourself that not only that you don't want to be seen for, but you're so afraid to admit to yourself are actually true. You know, it's. We cannot be authentic beings online, have this free, authentic voice. If we. There's stuff about ourselves, even about our thoughts, that we're afraid to admit are actually there, and it's okay that they're there. It's okay that we've got, you know, like recently, someone. Someone. You know, when you've had a public Persona, I'd say public brand for a while, you get all sorts of messages and things. And one lady said, and there was a time where I'd be very defensive about things. You don't know me. You don't know me. Very Jerry Springer. Like, who do you think you are? And then recently I got one, and it was again, someone with a flower pot profile photo. Private thing. Never met her in my life, but she said to me, you can be really harsh and condescending. And I read it and I thought, yeah, I can. I can be harsh. I'm going to say you're right. I don't have any problem with this. You seeing me as being that, because I do have that as well. Loving, loyal, generous, sure. But can I be harsh and condescending? Absolutely. I can be an eldest daughter. And that, for me, is about, like, back in the day. I'd be terrified if my audience saw the darkness in me. You know, you want to be seen as this, like, really Healy great person, especially when you're in that space and then you get to a point where you're like, there's no freedom in that. There's no freedom there. We talk about freedom all the time. We talk about authenticity and honesty and being raw and real. But what happens when our audience sees the. The shit bits of us that are. That are real and there. And. And the problem is that we haven't admitted to Ourselves that they're there. It's. We have this. This problem with the fact that we want to be good and we want to be seen as good and we forget that we are all fallen and weird and messy and still whole. Still whole. And so when I got that message, it was great because I was like. It just gave me the oppos so much freedom in saying, yeah, yep, I can be harsh and condescending. Totally. Yep. And when you can have those moments, that's when you can really be free. When you're not trying to micromanage how your audience perceives you, whether they see the dark bits that are still there, the crap bits that are still there, the unhinged bits that are still there. But you have to make peace with those first. It doesn't mean that you want to perpetually not work on those things. Right. But I can still have a voice and be loving and generous and still sometimes be harsh and condescending. And do I want to be harsh and condescending my whole life? No. But does it eat away at me also? No. No. Because I am an eldest daughter. Yerasimos 00:21:26.560 - 00:21:27.040 Yeah. Peta 00:21:27.040 - 00:22:06.020 How did I communicate with my siblings when I needed to get them to help me around the house? Do you know what I mean? They wouldn't absorb any of Mum's stress. I absorbed 100% of it myself. And that was very burdensome for me as a child. And my mum and I talk about all the time. She's like, I hate that you did that. But so I developed, you know, sometimes being harsh with my siblings. But where did it come from? It's deep love for my mother and care for my mother. And so I've had to make peace as well with. Yeah. My tone sometimes is not amazing, but I know my heart and I'm not afraid that you see that in me now. Joel 00:22:07.860 - 00:22:08.900 No, I appreciate that. Yerasimos 00:22:09.540 - 00:22:10.620 It's exhausting to. Joel 00:22:10.620 - 00:22:31.020 It is. It is exhausting. Of course, Yeah. I mean, it takes up so much psychic bandwidth trying to hide certain parts of yourself or pretend that they don't exist and keep them from other people. Yeah. I want to. I want to double click on the eldest daughter thing a bit more. Can you speak more into, like, those patterns and like, what that kind of is on a deeper level if there is more there to unpack. Peta 00:22:31.980 - 00:25:15.220 Yeah. It's. To be honest, it's only something I've really recognized in the last couple of years. Before that, I didn't. I didn't even factor it in. I didn't think it was significant. And then you start to See people writing about it, you know, on substack. I've read a few things that are very deep and you just feel like, oh my gosh, yes, it's it. I think when, I mean, it may be different when there are two parents in the house. And I know like my. I have three kids. My eldest is a girl and I would share about her, my experience as a child. And so she sometimes said, say to me, oh, mama, just hate being the oldest. And sometimes I'll talk with her through it and I will. I'm very, very careful with her to say things like, you are not responsible for mom and dad's happiness. We are adults. This is not your job. And to really like honor the nature of the eldest daughter. You are naturally maternal, you are naturally caring, you are naturally very capable. And like God gives us different gifts, you know, according to who we are in the world. And there's not. It's not all bad to be an eldest daughter. Sure there's some burden and responsibility which can and at times be heavy, but there are a lot of gifts too that come from. There is a lot of capability that is so natural. There is a lot of like, I'll do it, I can do it, you know, which we can't see it all as this. I hate when people take something and then create a whole victimhood personality around it and then blame the parents. Like I've never done that. Every time I've come on substack or anything and I've spoken about being the oldest daughter, I'm very careful to say, look, sure, you know, were there things about my childhood that weren't ideal? Sure, you know, but my mom and dad did the very best that they could, the very best that they could. And I can acknowledge what is mine now and not live in this perpetual blame of them. And my situation wasn't one. Like there are some people who experience, you know, abuse and everything. I did not. But what I'm saying is that I think it's important when we acknowledge these patterns and the things we get is to do it from a place of self responsibility and like to honor and acknowledge where our certain things come from, but to, you know, get on with it. Do you know what I mean? And so it is it. It was so growing, I mean growing up to explain how it was for me was I. I was very aware of my mum's story, whereas my siblings weren't. I knew that. Joel 00:25:15.700 - 00:25:17.780 How much older are you than you than your second? Peta 00:25:18.660 - 00:30:23.850 So my brother, my brother is the oldest and then Me, right. Like we're like a year apart. Yeah. And he also felt a lot of, he also felt a lot of responsibility in a different way. And we actually had, I actually had him on my podcast and he said I felt like I was the man of the house. I said to him, I felt like I was the man of the house. I was the man of the house, not you. And we have a laugh about it in a different way. And so I was. So he was born in 87, I was born in 88. And then my younger sister was like two years younger than me and then another two years. So I'm five years older than my youngest. So we were all born within six years, the four of us. And I knew my mum's whole story. I knew that she called my Nana Jean. And I was always like, why do you call Nana Jean? And because I was, she was raised as if my nana was her auntie because to stay in the family she had to be raised as if her grandparents were her parents because it was Catholic, you know, it was, it was shameful to be born out of wedlock in the 1950s in a Catholic, very European Catholic community in, in Australia. And so she was raised with my nana and her grandparents, but she always called my, my Nana Jean. And I was like, why? So I knew Mum's whole story. When I was very young, I would sit up late, I would ask the questions I wanted to understand. I would, when Mum would be. Particularly because my mum was a workhorse. She was the chairman of the athletics club, she volunteered for everything. She'd coach after school, soccer, she'd be the one at her school pulling machetes out of kids pants when they rocked up at school like just a gangster, you know. And also four children to raise and you know, and so she, whenever I could sense that she would straight be stressed, I'd go and talk to her and I'd, I'd ask her things. And so I. And she would never want to burden me with anything. She would, she's. She's not that person ever. She was never like wanting to emotionally manipulate or burden me. Nothing like that. My mum's very like, even as an adult I've raised you, I want the best for you. You don'. Like, like, I am not your problem. She's very. I love you and I want you to have a good life and, and so, and same as when we're growing up. But as the oldest daughter, it was like there was a, there was a hole who was, who was loving and caring for my mom, who was helping to soften her burdens and her stresses. And as a child, the only way I could do that was emotionally and mentally. And so I would tell the siblings, I would make chores charts, and I would say, mum is really stressed. You know, we need to help, we need to help. And they would say, oh, you're just such a nag. And I'd be like, you don't get it. And I'm. I'm. Yeah, yeah. And when my nana died at the age of 15, I was very close with her. I found these letters in my mum's cupboard that I'd written her when she died. I was 15. And the letters said, nana, I promise I'm going to take care of Mum for it. I promise I'm not going to let you down. I'm going to get emotional saying it. I. I am so sorry that I'm not making her happy like I was. The letters I found was so sad. And I read them to my mom. She's like, I can't even listen to this. I can't believe you were that burdened. But I was. I really was. And I just always was thinking about my mum's wellbeing. And the letters I wrote were just, I'm going to make sure Mom's okay. And as I took that very seriously. So when I. When I started my university journey, when I started my PhD, when I started building my big business, I knew I was going to retire my mom and pay off her mortgage, because her mortgage was just growing and her finances were out of control. And. And I did that. I did that. And it didn't. You know how everybody posts the Instagram story of, like, oh, so and so paying off the mortgage and then. And they post it like, the mortgage I paid off for my mum was huge. And I never even thought to post an Instagram video of it, because it was just, like, breathing for me. Yes, of course I'm gonna do that for my mom. It didn't seem like a big deal at all. It was what I said I was going to do. I had the capabilities to do it. I believe that it was my duty to do it. And still to this day, I'm. I feel blessed that God gave me the gifts and the tenacity to be able to do that for my mom because she was so worthy of somebody doing that for her, because the generosity and the selflessness of that woman, like, she's the most humble, don't want anything from anyone. So was it burdensome? And sometimes, sure. But like, is there gifts there? Joel 00:30:23.850 - 00:30:43.700 There's no mistakes. There's no mistakes in it. It's like, like today, like most people would hear that story and kind of like pathologize it and call it parentification and all the rest of it. And it's like. Like those letters that you wrote, like, how could you not feel that way? Isn't that the right thing to feel? Isn't the natural thing to feel in the circumstance? Peta 00:30:44.580 - 00:31:23.900 Yeah. And it still affects me, like, still to this day. Like, it's funny, we were talking before about where do we live? Like, my husband's American. Right now we're in. In Australia, near. Near my family. And my mom always says when my mom overhears, like me, we'll make our plans and then I'll immediately say, oh, and then mum can come over for three months. Like, I'll always be factoring in, you know, my mum and my mum will ever hear it and she'll go, don't say that. No, I am not. You don't have to worry about me. You go and live your life like she's. And I'll catch myself. Eric says it even. He's like, you're even as we are. Yerasimos 00:31:25.420 - 00:31:27.420 You know, you're always taking her into consideration. Peta 00:31:28.110 - 00:32:13.690 Exactly, exactly. And it does have. There is parts of it where I do need to make peace and move on from parts of those dynamics. I do. And in like Germany, medicine and other and other things. A lot of work that I've done, like with Nelly, for instance, is that sometimes I perceive my mum through no fault of her own, but through the perception as one of my offspring. And so that's sometimes the level of care that I want to show because at some point I have perceived that to be the relationship, even though it's not. Even though my mum is very helpful and caring. It's a perception that I've made. So now as an adult, sometimes I, like, I still have work to do on that for more freedom inside of me. Joel 00:32:14.570 - 00:32:53.210 Yeah, we live in the world today where obviously we're a lot more quote, unquote, trauma informed. We're a lot more nervous system informed at what point. And I'm wondering if you see this, like, do we over bubble wrap our kids and parents kind of live with this fear of like traumatizing or like, you know, creating a dysregulated childhood or a dysregulated environment, you know, because of how much knowledge and how much information we have. Where does that actually, like restrict us in our parenting? I wonder if you have any thoughts on that? Yerasimos 00:32:53.370 - 00:32:57.810 The same thing with gna with G M too. You learn it. You're like, I don't want to come. I don't want to give my kid a conflict. Peta 00:32:57.810 - 00:35:42.500 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so true. I think about it all the time. I go to bed every night and I'm like, could have done better in that. Could have done better in that. And it's a real thing. I remember when interviewing my mum on my show, she said something funny. It was like when, when she had my brother, she said she took him to the child health nurse and she was like, oh, he's well and everything. And she said to him, she said to the childhood, how do I get my son to not become a drug dealer? And I was like, what? And she was like, he just looked at me like, whatever. Then she kind of got over it. But it was just funny how even that generation, she was like, I'm wondering how I can get my son to not be a drug dealer. And I said to her, why did you. Living in our suburb, you didn't give him great chances against not becoming a drug dealer. I mean, most people were. But anyway, I, I do believe that we, we. We do know too much. And we can drive ourselves mad trying to ensure our kids don't acquire conflicts. They are going to, we are all going to. We are not the only influence in our life. We are not. Like, I always think, God, God has my children too. Like, I am here to shepherd them and steward them in this life the best I can. And my husband. But I am. I'm not a perfect person. And God knew that when he trusted me with his children and to. To be their mother. And there's an amazing book called the Collapse of Parenting. It talks about too soft parenting. Like, too soft parenting is, Is a thing. You see it. I mean, I see it in the playground sometimes. Oh, my child's just being a free spirit. He just whacked that kid over the head. And so there's the, there's the two. Soft parenting. And yeah, it's. I think for a mom, it's different. When I watch my kid, When I watch my son particularly scale buildings and climb things, I find it very hard because there's a primal thing in me which wants to run up after him and get him down. It's hard. You feel like a sensation in your body to keep your children safe. In, in biology, it's like the, the woman is the. The man's territory and the children are the, the mother's territory. So it's a very primal, biological thing. Like, these are my territory and my husband's like, let him climb it, let him fall, let him do what he needs to do. You know, we've gotta. I think about us like, do you remember the trampolines we used to bounce on? They were the most ghetto trampolines. We jump from our roof onto it, break our arm, keep playing, didn't matter. Now they've got netting around them, foam everywhere. Yeah. Like, we just had like four springs left on our trampoline and we were still going on it and just, we just. It's just hilarious. Joel 00:35:42.500 - 00:35:43.380 And death traps. Peta 00:35:43.940 - 00:36:31.330 Yeah. Yeah. And so we're. My mom and I always joke about. We always joke about the risk of a snowflake generation, but in my family, like, and particularly, I think it's natural with my mom's influence on my children. And we. Yeah, we. I mean, I have so many different directions that I want to go. But in short, yes, I do believe we can over worry about everything we're going to give our children. I think it's very healthy to be aware of if we have like a pattern and we know that we're passing it on. There's been certain things for me where I'm like, I'll give you an example, a very raw example. So recently, right before I get my period, I think we all know we're all a little bit touchy and feels harder to regulate emotions. Joel 00:36:31.570 - 00:36:32.210 Yeah, we know. Peta 00:36:33.010 - 00:36:40.730 Yeah. And I actually never used to have that. It's only since I've gotten like into my upper 30s where I'm like, wow, I'm really cranky. Joel 00:36:40.730 - 00:36:41.010 And. Peta 00:36:41.890 - 00:42:45.690 And I explain it to my kids when I'm shorter on temper. I say, look, you know, this is biology. This is what happens. I'm meant to be resting and I'm not. So my patience is lower. And I explain it to my kids. And, and the other day, my daughter, Soul, she's eight and a half and she's. There's something happening. I've definitely noticed a big shift in an amazing one. But she's been having big emotional feelings right now, I think because she can sense that we have some change coming next year. And she's very intuitive and she's been having some big outbursts. And I said, this was in a premenstrual week when I had a couple of moments where I wasn't regulating as well as I normally would or wanted to. And I said to her, so you've got to. You've got to take some deep breaths. And you have to, we have to practice self control. Not that I was trying to suppress her emotions. It was out the front on the street and I was trying to encourage her. Let's go inside, let's hit a pillow, let's, you know, cry, scream, whatever you have to do. But we're not doing it on the road. And I said, you've got to be at a, We've got to be able to have some self control. And she said to me, I don't because you don't. And I was like, I loved hearing that. I loved hearing that. Firstly because I love that she, she's so safe to tell me anything. We can go anywhere and we can talk about it. But I said to her, you're right. Yep, you are right. There are some times, I said, there are a lot of times, let's be honest, where I do regulate, but there are some times where I don't do as well as I want to. And I'm really working on that. And like, it allowed her to see me in what I'm still working on. And then I'm not coming to her as this holier than thou parent. But I like, I, I just love honesty. I love honesty. I love it when it hurts even. And that hurts. Hearing that, hearing that. Yeah, I do fall short as a parent. I've done all these courses, I've read all these books. I mean, I couldn't have got, you know, and I tell her, this is what I'm praying to God to help me with. This is what I'm working on too. And, and so even with my own children there, there are times, like, I look back on things. Nothing major, I don't think, but yeah, definitely times I've fallen short, not intentionally. Like, I'm here, I'm here with them every day. I'm here, I'm devoted, I'm doing my, the best that I can. But times where I may have been distracted, times where I may have been caught up, and this is why it's so important for me that we get a grip on social media as parents, because it is, it can, like, I feel really strongly about it, it can rob you of your, of you have this level of patience here and compassion. And the first and best of that is meant to go to the people inside of your home. That's where it's meant to go. But when we're giving our most compassionate, patient selves to strangers on the Internet and then giving them scraps to the people in our home, no, we just can't so when I find myself maybe, and look, I think we've all been there. Finding myself getting too caught up in certain things online or feeling, you know, and noticing that maybe I'm shorter in my, my temper at home, I will, you know, take myself off for a walk and give myself a pep talk and so what am I going to do? Am I going to turn Instagram off for a little while? Like, I'm not going to have it, but that doesn't mean that I don't have to go to those places of uncomfortable self awareness to get there. But yeah, our kids have symptoms. My kids are very healthy and vital. But when they have symptoms or I'm always like, what's this conflict? What's happened? And then there's things out of your control. Like when my son was. When my son was 2, he swallowed a coin in rural Italy. He swallowed a euro. It got lodged in his throat. I had to back blow him, drive him to emergency. It was during COVID so you can imagine what they were doing. All the things up his nose. He was, they were holding him down, up his nose, down his throat, everything. And, and I was there with him. He was looking at me in sheer terror. And then they said, we are going to operate. This is an emergency. There's nothing else to do. They are, I mean, rural Italy, right. So I'm doing my best with the language. And that was something that, as much as I was right there and asking them, let's not do this, let's not do this. They are the hospital staff. And when you're in, like, this was a. This was a. Like we're one of those families that will go there for an emergency and we'll manage our lifestyle. Not inside of that system. But this was a time where I was in that system and I needed to be. And he became like he, he experienced a lot of lung stuff after that, which we've now resolved. But as a mum, how could I have stopped that? That situation where he experiences that conflict of a death fright, because it's always a death fright. He's being held down his coins here. They were worried that if he brought it up one more spot, it was going to go into his lungs. So it was a very touchy thing. I was holding him gently. It was, it was terrifying for all of us, truly it was. He was too. He came through it amazingly. But as soon as we got back to Australia after that, he had a lot of lung stuff and Nelly was helping me through it and we're resolving that, but there There was. There are things that are going to happen in our life, our kids, although they are our territory biologically, God has them in his pub too. We can do our very best. And I think being radically honest with ourselves about where we do need to do better. It's one thing to like, to acknowledge where we are perhaps playing out old patterns that are just. They're just not of the standards we want for our family, but to humble ourselves enough to. To say, wow, I thought. I thought I was better than this, but I'm not yet. But I'm gonna be. And I think I know for you too, Joel. Like, do you have kids yet? You're asmos. Yerasimos 00:42:45.690 - 00:42:46.770 Do you have kids? No. No, not yet. Joel 00:42:46.770 - 00:42:47.090 No. Peta 00:42:47.810 - 00:43:11.440 So I know. And I know as a follower, Lisa, you have a very loving, devoted home. Same as us. We're both home. My husband works at home, too. We care so much about giving the most thriving. You know, our children are seen and heard, but also not. Yeah, like creating resilient children. Joel 00:43:11.600 - 00:43:12.160 Yeah. Peta 00:43:12.640 - 00:43:24.700 Ensuring they know that their body knows what it's doing, ensuring they have a relation, like their own spiritual journey, their own sense of discernment and just doing the best we can and. Joel 00:43:25.420 - 00:43:26.020 Yep. Yerasimos 00:43:26.020 - 00:44:38.240 Yeah, I think. I think that's what I really appreciated around getting exposed to Dr. Hamer's work in 2020, is that, like, I think it's natural when you go down this health path is to. To maybe there's a phase where you get so rigid. You know, I'm thinking Back to like 15 years ago, what are you drinking? What are you eating? Doing this. And you see it very often with parents that are raising their kids in such a rigid way, and then their kids rebel, you know, they. They flip to the other side. Even around. Even the vaccine thing, you saw it during 2020, where it's like I'd had conversations even in Los Angeles with people who were similar minded to us. And like, I raised my child and now he's like 15 and he's going. Getting all his vaccines, you know, But I think it's like, it's like the control and the rigidity. Because then I also think back, I'm like, when I was younger, like, I was eating cookies and, you know, candy and sure, my mom was Greek, I was eating healthy food as well, but I wasn't like, like suffering from, like, health orthodoxy. I wasn't like my mom yelling at me because I was eating a sugar packet. And I think I turned out okay. And so I think there's that. The need for the balance around that and not to like freak out. To think if your kid has a two, an extra slice of pizza at a birthday party that like their life is going to be ruined. Peta 00:44:38.800 - 00:45:27.090 Yeah. And especially it's what they are perceiving around the pizza too. So if you're telling them, oh, you're having something naughty or you should feel bad for eating this, that's where I am really trying to be aware of my language around things. Because sometimes I'll just say what I think out loud. Like, okay, well, you've, you know, we had this for dinner states, we're going to have this tomorrow. It's. We know this through G M. It's not about the food. It's of our perception of the food. And short, like, there are times where we have to play with different foods. You know, like, maybe they're it. Yeah, it is. It's a. It's a big thing. And the food thing is a big thing. It's a really big thing. You see the tonsils, like, you see the tonsil inflammation is, I think in Germany, medicine. It's linked to being forced to eat something you don't want to eat or not being allowed to eat something that you want to eat. Joel 00:45:27.410 - 00:45:29.050 And so common. Peta 00:45:29.050 - 00:45:51.410 So, yeah, it feels like we have so much to be careful of every word we say. You know what I mean? And we can just. Yeah, the food thing. The food thing is big. We ate junk as well too. We had the tiny titties in our thing. We had the Dunkaroos, like that fake cheese, little snack thing, all, you know, all that stuff. And there was no conflict around any of it. There was no conflict. Yeah, you know, I remember. Yerasimos 00:45:51.570 - 00:45:52.530 Yeah, sorry, go. Peta 00:45:52.610 - 00:45:53.450 No, go. You go. Yerasimos 00:45:53.450 - 00:46:33.620 I was gonna say I just remember, like, and it was like a humbling moment for me, looking back in hindsight. Like, I remember like maybe over a decade ago, I was like on social media, like on my stories, railing around Halloween and how dare you have. Your kids are having this, you know, this. All the candy and Halloween. And I'm like, you know how much candy I had as a kid during Halloween? And I had zero cavities. Zero cavities. And I think partly it was because I didn't have noise around it. And I think I was allowed to express myself in a certain way, but I didn't. I didn't have cavities. And but for the amount of sugar that I ate as a child, you know, your conventional person would be like, you should have like 20 cavities. But that just wasn't the Case, I'm. Joel 00:46:33.620 - 00:46:35.940 I'm still not there with Halloween candy yet, to be honest with you. Peta 00:46:36.260 - 00:46:38.980 Yeah, well, I hate it, too. Yerasimos 00:46:39.940 - 00:46:49.060 Well, yeah, I think there's. Again, I think there's a way to, like, bring balance to it, you know? But, yeah, I mean, I don't know. Good reasons. Peanut butter cup. I mean, come on. Peta 00:46:49.300 - 00:48:22.330 Yeah, it's tricky, especially with the girls. You don't want the girls to develop, like. I went through eating disorders. Many girls in our generation have all kinds of disordered eating. So with my kids, I want to hold the standard. In our home, we have organic cooked meals every night. But then. So with this recent Halloween, I put my Christmas tree up on the 30th. I was hoping to dodge the whole thing altogether. I just don't like. I don't like the walk past. And there's Chucky. I just pray a prayer over my kids, and I'm like, okay, you go with your dad. He's American. He can take a trick or trading on the street. When you come home, I'll trade you. You can keep five things and I'll trade you this. Because it is. It's. It's not like back in our day. Like, sugar for me is not the problem. I think we misunderstand. Sugar. It's all the other stuff that's in there. So Saul came home and she wanted to keep her crunchy. And crunchy in Australia is like a honeycomb cabbage, probably remember Joel? So I was. I was getting my period. I had a crunchy, too. I had the most splitting headache. And I don't ever eat that stuff, but I eat chocolate every day, but not like a crunchy chocolate. I had the most splitting headache on my head. And then Sol had one, too. In the middle of the night, she woke up, said, mama have the sort. She had the most splitting headache. I think the sulfites sulfates in it are through the roof now. So she said to me, mom, throw it away, throw it away, throw it away. Because she felt in her body what eating not food, does to you. But I was like, you've got to. You've got to get there yourself. Like, you've got to understand, like, you do not. Not need to fear any of it. Yeah, but you've got to see how it makes you feel. But there's nothing to fear. Joel 00:48:22.410 - 00:48:38.890 Yeah, there's. There's levels to the quality of the confectionery, and there's, like, an energetic component to it as well. Like, I've got no issue with my kids eating whatever sweets or Treats they want, but the ones that are in the house, you know, like, what's, what's. What's in the house is okay for sure. Yerasimos 00:48:38.890 - 00:49:07.970 I, I actually this is just funny because I. Well, this part isn't funny, but I. My sister had a health issue recently. She's in the hospital. And my mom flew out and I flew out to Arizona and I was at the hospital. And like, the hospitals have, like, nothing and they have vending machines, so it's a vending machine there. And I was just like, effort, you know. I got like a Kit Kat. I pressed the wrong button, so a Baby Ruth came out too. So I ended up getting both. And in the next 24 hours, I had both of them. And I had like. It's probably been 20 years since I had a Baby Ruth. Joel 00:49:08.450 - 00:49:10.960 We don't know what that is. Do you know what that is? I don't know what it is. Yerasimos 00:49:12.800 - 00:49:19.760 It's not like a Snickers. It's like a chocolate nougat with, like, caramel and nuts. It's like one of the. It's like in the same family as like a Snickers bar or something like that. Joel 00:49:19.760 - 00:49:20.160 Cool. Yerasimos 00:49:22.640 - 00:49:24.360 Oh, the Kit Kat is, is good. Joel 00:49:24.360 - 00:49:25.600 My favorite is actually Crunch. Yerasimos 00:49:27.760 - 00:49:50.080 The blue wrapper. The Nestle. Nestle's Crunch or Nestle's. Yeah, those were good too. But even, like, as I was gonna eat it, like, I had to be really mindful of, like, the talk because that part wanted to come in and I was like, nah, nah. I'm like, just enjoy it and do my thing. And it was, it ended up being fine. Now again, if I was eating them all the time. Not ideal, you know, in my opinion. Peta 00:49:50.880 - 00:49:51.840 No, because you're right. Yerasimos 00:49:52.000 - 00:49:54.640 The stuff they're made of these days is different than 30 years ago. Peta 00:49:54.640 - 00:50:17.580 It's different. It's different. It is different. And the toxic load in the, in the environment is different. Back then, we didn't have the same toxic load. So I think our livers are in a different place too. Or not. I mean, not everyone, but it's just a different toxic load. But I do, yeah, with children, I do think it's important to watch our speech. But then again, it's like, ah, yeah, it's the most important thing. Joel 00:50:17.900 - 00:50:56.100 The most important thing you said to me, which really land is like, God has my kids as well. Like, they're going through their journey. They have their own unique path. I can have all the knowledge, all the wisdom. I think that's great for us to keep learning, but then to like, apply it like some kind of dictator or tyrant in the home isn't helping nobody. It needs to be integrated naturally in how we interact with our kids. And that happens not, you know, and some of these conflicts are meant to be and that not all of them are only shadows. Some of them have gifts which come along later down the road as well, you know, so there's like this unique kind of thread which is being woven the entire time as well. And you do the best you can and it's in God's hand as well. Peta 00:50:56.340 - 00:52:33.430 Exactly, exactly. And if, and if you, if you focus relentlessly on trying to be perfect, you're. You're sucking the joy of your parenthood and your children need the joy. Like you know, and I know this firsthand, our parents happiness like when like my children are still in that phase where we are there everything. My eldest daughter writes us cards every day. I love you so much. You're the best. And, and yeah, it's so good. But we, they get so much hope, comfort, peace and joy from our joy. And when we are focusing so much on perfection, like I, I think the joy and the peace matters so much. It matters so much to them too. And that's something that I try and focus on myself. Is, is dancing more with them and singing more with them and doing impromptu, starting impromptu. Like yesterday I was like, what new Christmas tradition should we start? Should we like make a lot of cookies and watch two movies and you don't even have to wear your blue blockers, you know what I mean? I don't have to wear those dumb glasses, I said, because usually I make them. I say look, when the sun goes down, we're not watching a show. And we, you know, yeah, we are. We have screen time boundaries. But we definitely don't do no shows. We like watching like the old Christmas movies and all that. And so. But they know that when the lights go down, that's when we don't do screens. We put on our warm lights row, right? And so I was like, like I'm trying to think about this real like woohoo Christmas. What do you watch the Christmas movies and you don't even have to wear your glasses. Joel 00:52:33.510 - 00:52:34.310 I'm the cool mom. Peta 00:52:36.950 - 00:53:58.700 I'm let loose. But those. Think back to our favorite childhood memories, you know, I think about my favorite childhood memories with my Nana eating those chocolate eclairs, her bread and butter pudding. It was, it was never like carrot sticks and hummus, you know, it was. Our best memories were the ones where it was about togetherness and like I think about, we all, Eric and I always talk about what will our kids think back on and think that was the best thing. Will it be like the ski trip? Probably not. It will be, you know, those, like the little traditions, like we going to get the cinnamon. We go to this gluten free bakery every Friday and we get this, these cinnamon scrolls every Friday. And you know, they're covered in sugar. That's the sort of thing where I'm like, I don't care about the brown sugar on it, to be honest. I don't. They're, they're made whole. They're whole food, they're made wholesomely. We get gluten free only because we try and go a little lower on the wheat for soul. Sometimes she, she will get little bags. It's something only a mother would notice. But sometimes I can see little, a little change of color around here if she has too much wheat. So I try and keep, keep it low. But so we go and get these amazing cinnamon scrolls and the sugar doesn't for me, like understand learning about metabolism in my research. Sugar is, sugar is misunderstood, I believe. I think it's everything. Yerasimos 00:53:58.860 - 00:55:01.550 I agree, I agree. I really loved what you said just about the joy and the peace because it's so important. Again, obviously we're all students of Dr. Hammer's work and it's like the more joy, the more peace that you can bring your life, the more connection that you can bring, the less isolation that exists again, the less opportunity for these conflicts to impact us in such an intense way. So you think about all the rigidity, especially as we're social beings within, like your friends at school or your other friends, like that can be isolating. Like, I can't have this because my mom said I can't have this. I mean, that's going to have its own impact. And so like, I tend to look at health more and more these days from a much more simple way. It's like, how can we bring more peace and joy and harmony into our lives and more connection? Okay, that doesn't mean like, let's have 18 Big Macs at McDonald's, but I just mean like, how can we bring more of that and like not worry as much about some of this other stuff that maybe, you know, 10, 15 years ago or 20 years ago, I'd worry about more? So yeah, it's true. Peta 00:55:01.550 - 00:55:02.310 We're understanding. Yerasimos 00:55:02.310 - 00:55:10.590 A lot easier said than done, of course, to just say bring more peace and harmony into your life. But I think it's, it's A worthy intention, totally. Joel 00:55:11.280 - 00:55:24.640 And, and realizing that, you know, moving towards that doesn't mean that you're never going to fight with your spouse. You're never going to argue in front of your kids. You're never gonna, you know, like, having, having that awareness in the background while that is happening can actually be beneficial as well. Peta 00:55:25.600 - 00:57:13.680 I. There was one thing that was said to me. We have these good friends in Sedona. My friend Summer, her mother was a long time Waldorf and Montessori teacher. She's like a wise elder. And she came to stay with us in Italy one time and she said to me, me and Summer and I were talking about again, another very devoted parent who's probably too hard on ourselves. So we were talking about all the things we're trying to do better. And her mum said to us, children always feel you're striving. Children always recognize you're striving when you are wanting to do better. Like, they, they recognize your effort. They can, they can sense that in you. And, you know, like, I, I sometimes at the end of the day will think, oh, gosh, I could have said that better. You know, to. Naturally. I don't know. Many of us have a personality where we're very introspective. We always have a look at what we could have done better, what I could have said better. And, and then, and then in the morning, my daughter's making me a card and she's like, you're the best mom ever. I love that you're telling me. You tell me stories every night, like, and they are like. I think we are very hard on ourselves. I know I am. I, I think naturally that's my personality is that I don't live in oblivion. I try and be kind to myself, but I, I'm very aware of my flaws and I think, yeah. And then sometimes someone will reflect something back to you. Like, wow, you're always with your kids, you know, you like. Yeah. When she said that to me about your children really sense your striving. I think, yeah, our children see us differently than, than we see ourselves and. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Joel 00:57:16.080 - 00:57:18.880 What is body luxury? Peta 00:57:20.080 - 00:59:05.700 Oh, so, I mean, so we have a, A farm in Italy where we went. We've been, we went there three years in a row. We went during COVID And it's rural Italy too, so it's real Italy. It's not tourist Italy. My husband's trying to sell it now because he deals with all of the, the bills and the logistics, whereas I just deal with the joy of it. So I'M like why? Why not? Anyway, so we spent a lot of time there and I come from a background of knowing a lot about like my, my honest thesis was about metabolism and energy intake and food and exercise. And then, and then I studied all different types of eating methods. Just, you know, we self study your whole life and, and then I also had my period of eating disorders, you know, and then some that developed into an obsession with things that can be an exercise obsession. And I went through all of that and I moved through it all. But over the years of watching myself and learning many different things. Cell your detox but then also Germany, medicine and homeopathy and all these different things I started to. I wouldn't call it a philosophy, it's kind of a philosophy. But what really brought it home for me was life in Italy and seeing how they live there and seeing their approach to food and seeing their approach to wellness and, and recognizing how complicated we make it in the West. We make wellness like an Olympic sport. And you see people like habit stacking 12 things at once on the vibration plate, red light, you know, the emf. Yerasimos 00:59:06.180 - 00:59:08.020 It's insane to me personally it is. Peta 00:59:08.020 - 01:04:24.610 And I can't, I can't follow people like that because it's, it induces anxiety in me. I scroll through what else do you do? What else are you doing? What else are you doing? There's something in me that I am very curious and excitable. So I can then think, oh, I need all of those things. I, I don't get inspiration from that like 25 step biohacking, like the idea of biohacking is insane to me. Once you understand biology, once you understand God's design, the idea of hacking, it is so western and is so like playing God, which is what our culture loves to do. And so living in Italy and seeing the, you know, they had, they have a croissant and a cappuccino for breakfast. They're all together, they walk into the village, these old people, they laughing, they're joyful, they've got friends they've known their whole lives. And then their lunch is a festive thing. You know, everyone, they don't have lunch boxes, The Italian kids don't have lunch boxes. They don't have a snack at 10 o' clock and then 10:20 and then 10:40 like Aussie kids do. They have the breakfast which is light, it's intuitively light, right? And then they have their, their lunch. And it's about togetherness, it's about things that they have locally. It's not about calories, it's not about avoiding pasta, it's not about any of that stuff. And then the dinner is the same and they, they walk a lot. They have a very like just. They understand God's design for, for vitality. They don't, they don't worry about it. But they also understand the importance of beauty and music and like all those beautiful things that are born from Italy. Like beauty matters so much and nature being in nature the most beautiful and togetherness and tradition. And so I started to piece together all of it into what I call body luxury of like what I believe is a sweet spot. And it's not about never following a protocol. It's not about. Because sometimes a protocol is, is what you need. But following one your entire life, I like for me, no, I want the freedom and I want the faith in my body. Like I always say, I'm not going to be rolled by a bread roll. I'm not so fragile that I can't have a bread roll. It's not how God designed me. That's not God's plan for my, my life. That I can't like have a croissant when I'm in Italy. Absolutely not. And so the it, the philosophy developed of just all of the things that I've learned and it's more, it's more like. So I just put it into a coffee table book that's coming out next year. But it's more like a personal. Yeah, like a collection of what I've, what I've discovered, what, what is often left out of the vitality conversation. Um, how important faith is. Like faith in how we are designed is in for vitality and for well being and like because I mean I'm still just got. You still discover things about the body now where it's just mind blowing. This whole biohacking macros thing is like the tiniest bit of it, you know. And I'm someone who, yeah, I wanna, I wanna, as I age, I care about understanding how to feel better and more vital. Like I'm always gonna be someone like that. But I understand too that it's not just the food we eat, it's not just our steps that there's so much more to vitality and our culture and our generation makes it like a checklist thing. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. And I get so inspired by like traditional European understanding of vitality which is not. You know, someone commented my post the other day like African women live like this too. And I said, I have no doubt it's just that it was modeled to me by European woman women. And it's just understanding our design, understanding our biology as male and female, and understanding how our body was designed to self heal, which I think we know, but also how important expression is for our vitality. Honesty always said honesty is. It's not just spiritually healing, but it physically heals us. It changes your face, it changes your skin, Your body changes when you're honest. There is no real healing without, like piercing. Honestly, our body is not falling for our lies. Our body is not falling for our pretending. Our body is not sitting there all, you know, like, when we're holding the pretending in any way, the lies, something we're not admitting to ourselves, our body is. Is holding it. You notice when people. I've had times in my life where I've had to. Like, there was one time in 2018, I had to end a business relationship with someone. And straight after, my body just changed. And people were like, what have you been doing? And I was thinking, gosh, at the time I was doing celery juice. I was like, is it the celery juice? So the colonics. And I was thinking, no, it was my. It was that, that I was honest to say, look, no. And, you know, expression and honesty is very pro. Vitality, but many other things are, which don't involve food. Food and exercise. Yerasimos 01:04:25.490 - 01:05:51.440 Yeah. I love looking at the old country. You know, obviously you've spent time in Italy and, you know, my family's from Greece. And I just think of some of my ancestors that lived to be over 100 years old. And they weren't carnivores. They weren't, you know, on the, on the pulse machine or red light every day or taking 72 supplements at 11:37pm you know what I mean? Like, it just wasn't. And even my dad, my dad lived to be 93 and like, he didn't do any of that. I mean, he was resilient. He was. He lived on purpose. And. But it's not like he was eating organic 24 7. And so like, when you, when you see that and there's so many examples of it, you have to go, what else is. What else is it? You know, like, is there something beyond just the material and the physical and that is primary? You know, like consciousness and the way you live, the way you feel and think and how you approach life is. Is just beyond, like the things that we put in our body, you know, I think it's important, but I just don't think it's primary. And so it's something that I try to model my life after. Even when you travel and you see people in other cultures that have less, you know, but then they're, they're, they're like smiling all day even though they're like quote unquote living in poverty, but then we're in the west and people are miserable even though they have the things they want. So it's like I'm not saying I want to just trade my life and go live that, but what are the nuggets that I can take from that and apply it into my own life? Peta 01:05:52.590 - 01:06:57.230 Yeah, they are, they are more connected to God. And in the west we are not as connected to God. And it's the soul that animates the body. It's the soul that gives our body life. We know that when we depart this earth, the soul, the soul leaves and the body can't function anymore. The soul animates the body. So when we are healthy in our soul, in our spirit, that changes our body. It animates our entire body. So in the west, where people are godless and self indulged and following paths that are not their true paths and caught up in this destructive like social media drama, but They've got a 30 step wellness routine and they wonder why they're still symptomatic. It's like we are not mechanistic. Like we have to understand them. The depth, the, the, the beauty. The beauty. Just everything I'm learning now is pointing me towards this one idea that beauty is first for everything in this world and then goodness follows and then true follows after that. But go on. Joel 01:06:57.710 - 01:07:02.030 They're like eating, eating whole foods is great, but it's not a substitute for being a whole person. Peta 01:07:02.670 - 01:07:03.710 No, exactly. Joel 01:07:03.710 - 01:07:30.740 You know, and you talk about self honesty like to me, like the word integrity comes to mind. And what is the root of integrity? It's being integral, it's being one, being a whole integer within oneself. And what does that do to your energy when you're not self fractured within? Like that is the baseline before anything that you consume. On a materialistic level, that is the baseline. How do I feel about myself as I move through my life on a day to day basis? Peta 01:07:32.580 - 01:08:34.690 And also like go and look at some cathedrals, like go and look at some beautiful architecture which we don't really have. Like in Australia, we don't have it, that's for sure. That changes us. We are meant, Beauty is meant to be an important part of our vitality. It helps us make sense of Things, it's, it's how we meet God in that beauty. And in Europe, they are so used to that standard of beauty. And here we look at these dao or cock homes everywhere, you know, and we, whatever, that's fine, but we lack this. Like, no one ever said, we all say, like, go out in the sun and get your medicine by sitting out in the sun. We all know that we should be in the sun. But what about walking into a cathedral with stained glass and those beautiful ceilings and, and experiencing the human spirit, God firstly, but the human spirit in there, seeing what man built all those years ago, and that, like, that does so much for my sense of peace, hope, vitality and joy. Joel 01:08:35.010 - 01:08:35.490 Yeah. Peta 01:08:35.650 - 01:09:05.470 You know, and this is why we always feel called back to the Northern hemisphere. Australia has, I mean, grand beauty in many ways. Like the, the Australian landscape is, is beauty. The, the birds, you know, every morning, five o' clock in the morning, the kookaburras. There's so much beauty in Australia. But sometimes I long for, and I think it's like the European ancestry. I long for those, those buildings, you know, I long for that history. It doesn't just do. It does something for the soul, which does a lot for the body and the mind. Joel 01:09:06.190 - 01:09:44.970 And like, I just think about how much reverence for the human spirit must those men have had to build and create such beauty and to have such grand visions and to actually execute and make it manifest in the world like that is the greatest service to God, in my opinion, is to exalt one's spirit to such an extent where it's like, this is, this is worship. This is me honoring why I'm here, why I exist, this passion that is within me, this creative intelligence that is flowing through my bones and not just wasting it away down this inauthentic, materialistic path which has been sold upon me, you know? Peta 01:09:45.210 - 01:09:51.130 Yeah, it is, it's like, it's. I'm reading this book now called the Ethics of Beauty. Joel 01:09:51.530 - 01:09:51.930 It's. Peta 01:09:51.930 - 01:12:40.100 It's stunning. It's written, it's about trauma and war and psychology. It's written by a man from the perspective of, of orthodox Christianity. And I'm not, I'm not an orthodox Christian, but I'm very fascinated by, by it. It seems very untouched and it has a beauty. It speaks about how we all talk about beauty, goodness and truth. And many of us in this world want to find truth first. And his argument in this book is no, no, that's not the order of battle for the soul. The order of battle for the soul is beauty first and then goodness, and then in beauty and goodness, we find truth. You cannot miss truth inside of beauty and goodness. And I read this last night. I can't remember exactly what it said, but I found so much relief as someone who is a truth seeker. We talk about this sometimes, Joel, like, oh, I'm so tired of the. The term truther. Right? You have this relentless desire to know truth. I want to know truth and the soul. Like, what's it. I want to. I wrote it down because I posted about it. They said, truth is not the first order of business for the soul. That was the quote. Truth is not the first order of business for the soul. It's beauty and then goodness, and then truth is revealed there. And I found so much relief, I was like, ah. Because I don't. My spirituality, my connection with God, it's not something I can intellectualize and explain, and probably not something I could even debate. I couldn't go on the jubilee debate and debate it. It's so personal and it's so, like, mysterious and mystical, and it's got no. Like, you know what I mean? And I think it just. We can. And I think as well. Dr. Sasha said something yesterday. I don't know if this is completely off path, but I feel cool to say he said something yesterday on Freya, which is also one of those things where I heard. I was like, wow. He said truth. Men care about truth because they care about facts. And, you know, we want to know the facts, we want to know the steps. We want something we can prove. Like, truth is very. Truth, in essence, is objective. It's something that you can show, it's unarguable. This is the truth. This is what happened. Whereas honesty is. This is how I'm perceiving it in myself. Like, honesty is. This is what I'm perceiving. It's very different to truth. And he was having us understand this because he was teaching us that men want truth, whereas women are like, but I'm being honest because I'm sharing my emotions. And it's like, sometimes we confuse honesty and truth. But you can. Like, women maybe don't care so much about truth. We care about honesty. This is what I'm feeling. This is what I'm saying. And it's honest to us. That's true. You know what I mean? Joel 01:12:40.580 - 01:12:52.060 But the conflict always is when the woman is like, this is the truth. This is the truth. And the man's getting caught up in the rational, but it's not actually the truth. But to her, it's just. This is the truth of my body right now. Yeah. Peta 01:12:52.060 - 01:14:02.150 Yeah, exactly. That's what we want. That's what we want to share. So when I think I find so much again. So yesterday I had this 24 hours of just like this. Whoa. Between him, between Dr. Sasha and the book. Like even expressing online, right. We say, I want to share the truth. If you've got a facts based page, perhaps, you know. But what I want to share is honesty. I want to be honest. That that means that. And this is one of the biggest fears of authentic expression is what if I'm wrong in 10 years? Honesty can relieve us of that. I'm being honest and in. In full integrity with right now. It's like my first book. This is. Sorry, this completely looped around. But my first. I wrote my first book when I was 28 or something and I was like, I stopped. It did really well and it got awards and then I stopped printing it because I started to really grow mature and I was like, I can't have that book out there right now because I don't know how much of it I stand beside anymore. And so I stopped at circulation. And. But the. But I'm. I'm considering letting it back out there because I'm like, look, I was young, but that book was written honestly. It was honest. Joel 01:14:02.470 - 01:14:03.030 Yeah. Peta 01:14:03.350 - 01:14:16.350 Do I have a different perspective on some things now? Sure. But that makes me feel free. Is that I don't have to fear being wrong if I'm honest. Yes. My worldview might change. My baby's just outside. She might need to come on in the boot. Joel 01:14:16.350 - 01:14:16.950 No worries. Peta 01:14:17.030 - 01:14:23.700 It's all good, honey. She can come in. She's okay. I might just have to put her on the boo boo. Yerasimos 01:14:23.700 - 01:14:23.980 You're good. Joel 01:14:23.980 - 01:14:24.380 You're good. Yerasimos 01:14:24.380 - 01:14:24.980 No worries. Joel 01:14:25.220 - 01:14:25.940 This is real. Yerasimos 01:14:27.460 - 01:14:29.100 You're being honest. You're being honest right now. Peta 01:14:29.100 - 01:14:30.020 I'll just grab it. Joel 01:14:30.100 - 01:14:30.820 You're good. Peta 01:14:31.140 - 01:14:35.540 It's okay. She's turning 2 on Saturday. Joel 01:14:36.180 - 01:14:39.940 By the way. We're changing the name of our podcast to keep for the Beauty here. For the beauty. Yerasimos 01:14:40.740 - 01:14:43.780 I thought you were gonna say. I thought you were gonna say here for the Boob. But you know. Peta 01:14:46.260 - 01:14:50.100 I can't remember what I was saying, but I was gonna say that frees me in my expression because it's like, look. Yerasimos 01:14:50.330 - 01:14:50.650 Yeah. Peta 01:14:51.050 - 01:15:18.380 I'm not trying to give authentic, objective truth to people. If when they ask about my faith. Why? Why are you learning more about Jesus? Like, I'm not trying to give you objective truth. Like, I am trying to Be really honest about where God had me right now. And to be honest, it doesn't really satisfy anyone. The. The cultural Christians think that I'm off the mark in some ways. Some. You know, but. But I'm being honest, and that's the freedom. Joel 01:15:18.780 - 01:15:49.590 Yeah. I can't tell you how much I relate to that, because as a. Even as a musician and as a hip hop artist, like, my album, my first album, which I released in 2014, like, a few years later, like, I. I love that album at the time. Then a few years later, I was like, this just isn't me anymore at all. These aren't my ideas. This isn't my language. This isn't what I think or feel about anything. And I actually pulled it from Spotify because I'm like, this isn't a true representation of me. But, yeah, it was a true representation of me at the time, you know. Yerasimos 01:15:49.910 - 01:15:51.030 And of your journey. Joel 01:15:51.190 - 01:16:06.470 Yeah, it's part. It's. It's an intimate and intricate part of the journey. And it's like, yeah, how can we be held to a standard of truth when all we ever know is the truth of what we're experiencing in a certain moment of space and time, which is always subject to evolution. Peta 01:16:07.190 - 01:16:07.550 Yeah. Yerasimos 01:16:07.550 - 01:16:52.080 And also at the same time, it's like someone like, you wrote that at a period in your life, or you created that music at a certain period of life. Like, there are going to be people that come across that at a certain stage in their life that are going to impact them. And maybe a similar way that caused you to even write that, because they're on their own path. They're on their journey. They're being held by God and in the sense that you're talking about. So I totally get that. And, like, as human beings, we should be allowed. We are allowed to change our minds. We're allowed to admit, like, oh, that was my level of understanding or how I was feeling at that time. And I've evolved beyond that. And so I think that that's just a mature way to go through life. And it's real. Like, no one just comes in at 20 and goes, I have it all figured out. I've written the book at 20 that I'm gonna write at 50. Peta 01:16:52.240 - 01:16:56.080 Yeah, exactly. Yeah, go on, Joe. Joel 01:16:56.319 - 01:17:05.520 I was gonna say that's the reason, like, why most people never, ever take a risk in life, because they fear being wrong so much, where it's like, how can you. He's got to do it at something. Peta 01:17:06.370 - 01:18:16.440 Exactly. The fear of being wrong. And I get it. Too. Sometimes I'm like, oh, gosh, will this age well in 10 years? Will I still? But if you, if, if you approach expression like that, you will. You'll never say, think, because we're all going to evolve. Sometimes I even think, oh, and with books, it's hard because you put a book out in music and it's, it's not living like, your social media stuff is living. You can, you can in real time change your mind. Your book is like that. But I did put a caveat. The side of that book, I reserve the right to change my mind. I think I could sense that I'm gonna change my mind. I'm young, I haven't. Hadn't birthed my baby yet. Obviously, everything changes then. And I think what it. Yeah. And, and my brother said to me the other day, he's like, I don't talk about big things because I'm afraid one day I'm going to be wrong. And I said, I think that's a common thing. It is a common thing that, you know, we. We don't want to talk about things as we're afraid we're going to be wrong. But when you can, when you can again be at peace within yourself, that, yeah, I'm going to change my mind. I am going to develop new worldviews. But if I'm all right with it, like, I've got no problem getting online and saying, I just changed my mind about that whole thing. Yerasimos 01:18:16.440 - 01:18:16.800 Yeah. Joel 01:18:16.800 - 01:18:17.160 Yeah. Peta 01:18:17.320 - 01:18:19.800 Do that anymore. Yeah. Yerasimos 01:18:19.960 - 01:18:49.830 Well, I just even think about where my intention and where my mindset was at even when 2020 happened and, like, what I was focused on and how much more combative I was in those early days. And now I. I feel like it's like a complete 180. Like, I don't care as much. Yeah. About the things that I cared about five years ago. Like, I'm so much more focused on other things. And even Joel and myself, we met. We Met and in 2021, we created this podcast. And, like, maybe, like, what our intention was back then is different than it is now. And yeah. Joel 01:18:49.830 - 01:18:57.350 When you're asking us to drop the quote and drop the quote. No man. No man steps in the same river twice. So it is not the same river and he's not the same man. Peta 01:18:58.390 - 01:18:58.830 Yeah. Yerasimos 01:18:58.830 - 01:19:37.890 I love it. Real quickly, I wanna. Not real quickly. We can chat as long as you'd like to. We brought up Sasha and the Freya course, and I'd love to hear a little bit about it from your, like, your point of view. We've had multiple GNM episodes on this podcast. My wife took the Freya course, I think, I don't know, last year or the beginning of this year, I'm not sure. And so as. Especially as a manifesto woman and coming across this information and as someone who said, like, it's hard to receive and maybe you were forced into more of your masculine at times, like, how did this knowledge, like, support you? What did you bump up against? But maybe first give a little bit of a. Joel 01:19:38.450 - 01:19:42.110 And just, just quickly, Peter, when did you first come into contact with G and M? Peta 01:19:43.780 - 01:21:21.920 Oh, about. I probably bought Nelly's. I was the first one to buy Nelly's introduction course. I remember I was standing in Italy and she messaged me and she was like, oh my gosh, I saw your. This was in 2021, I think I saw your purchase and I. It reminded me to keep going. Like, she was. I think she was kind of at a point where she was like, oh, like, you know, I think now it's really got momentum. But she's been in it for like 10 years and I think at a point she was probably like, is anybody going to really get this? And I saw a course and I bought it. And I remember standing in the kitchen in Italy and her messaging me and saying like, that was my sign. But that I'd say five years ago. I'd say four or five years ago. Yeah. And then I started learning through some of Melissa Sell stuff. Some of Nelly has been like a personal mentor. We're good friends, so we go back and forth in audio message all the time. I've had recurring mastitis with all of my babies and that has been a real journey of discovery for me because every time I've had it, like, it just reveals so much about who you are in your life. I would not trade the 20 something bouts of mastitis I've had, even though it is hell, I would not trade it for anything because it has always revealed to me where I was still in conflict, where I was where I needed resolution in my life. And sometimes I got it when I just needed a rest and I wasn't giving it to myself. I needed a day with some dumb show and I wasn't letting myself have it. And so anyway, that's a bit of a sideset, but my point is that about. About four or five years ago and then. Yeah, it's so fascinating. Joel 01:21:22.080 - 01:21:22.560 Yeah. Peta 01:21:22.560 - 01:32:25.750 So. So, Freya. Yeah, I. I just love understanding God's design for our bodies and I just think we're only just scratching the surface, I find it so and so Nelly got me onto it. And I love Dr. Sasha. He is, I love that he's very direct. That's the language that I learn best with. No, I don't get offended by anything. The more direct the better. Nothing really like, I just, I love it. And he. The essence of the course is understanding. So this is not a Germany medicine course that Dr. Sasha teaches. It's a. About the biology of a man. That's what we're learning. We're learning the fundamental biological differences between a man and a woman. And he teaches, he teaches like. So this course is for the women to understand how differently your men and also son, like boys and sons and brothers and fathers are designed. And he speaks about it from the biology. So it's not just. This is just how they communicate. He explains it with the brain, he explains it with the, the corpus callosum. He explains it that the eyes are different. He explains everything from a biological standpoint. And he's a doctor and he's very, very, very wise and he's obviously experienced and seen a lot. But it's. Yeah, it, it's been beautiful. There's definitely, yeah, it puts, gives proper substance to, to what we sense and know that men and women function fundamentally differently in the world. And you see, even to the basic things like let's say on our first ever session, he, he shared how differently the man and the woman's eyes are and how a man's eyes attract for a design for hunting and gathering and moving objects. And so when a woman is getting frustrated that the man cannot load, locate the tomato sauce or this thing that you can see right there, it's because his eyes do not pick up still objects as well. Like a woman's eyes are very perceptive, very detail oriented because a woman is designed to watch many children at one time, keep her eyes on many children. A woman is very detail oriented, multitasking. And a man is designed and the way he's. We can all sense a shift happening in men around the world, in our culture. And, and he really gives solid explanations for why our world, our men have become feminized, our men have become feminized in this world and our women have become masculinized. And now we're living in this world where women can do anything men can do. And so women are finding it very difficult to find a man. And he explains it in, I mean, so much detail. But for me personally, it has, I mean, I've had to take, I mean it's Been again, one of those things where it's like the, the hard truth inside sometimes how I am. It teaches us not to step into our man's territory, which many of us don't understand what, what a man's territory is. Firstly, the woman is a. Primarily biologically the man's territory. He is focusing on our happiness, but we are revealing our happiness mostly through our body language, our smiles and things like that. And so for me, someone who's very. I think I have a resting bitch face all the time, most of the time, you know, when I'm just thinking, I didn't realize how much that was communicating to my husband. And without me even saying anything. I've noticed a lot about my tone. I've noticed a lot about. I've learned a lot about. Again, it's all. I've learned a lot about how in, you know, firstly, the most important thing I've learned that the biggest. Not gut punch, I would say, because I wouldn't say I love gut punches. So I'm like, it was a good gut punch, but it really showed me what I. Where I want to go in my life was that he. He taught us that the most important feminine quality, the, the most feminine quality in a woman is serenity. And I have realized how much I have been yearning for a deeper sense of femininity in myself and to. And it's. And even as I'm saying, it feels like there's like a brick wall there sometimes, you know, of really surrendering and allowing my husband to. Because, I mean, he's an only child and my husband's a very strong man. He's also gentle and he married an eldest daughter, right? And so we. This is part of why we feel called back to the States where it's his, it's his land, it's his territory. And we're kind of learning, yearning for that dynamic where by nature I have to become a lot softer in his. In his domain. Do you know what I mean? But it's showed, it's really showed me what true femininity is and how far not just me, but many women in our world have drifted from it in the guise of liberation and empowerment and how many lies we've been sold with regards to how much fulfillment there will be in living a way that is not biological. And it's, it's revealed that to me in a way, but not just for myself to look at myself, but explains just why again, his. His offering is not Germany medicine offering, but piecing it all together. Why do women have so many hormonal issues now. Why, you know, why do men have so many mental health issues now? It all lines up. There's no mysteries with it. For me now, it, it all clicks in together. You can see it all. Why men are feeling so displaced because the world has become feminized. And what the man is really here to do for women, he's not really being allowed to do in many cases. That's not to say that men shouldn't step up and step into that masculinity, but, but a woman, women who are of this whole. But I can do it anyway. And we have been taught to believe that we are so liberated when we do that. But what we have lost is a femininity that is so essential for our vitality, our soul, the health of our marriage. For me, my daughters to see my daughters to see femininity and softness and surrender and serenity and peace and receptivity. I want my daughters to get that from me. I really want my daughters to get that from me. My mother didn't have the opportunity she was, you know, and even her mother left school at 15, had to start work at the shoe shop, had to hide my mother's pregnancy. Like my mother had to put food on the table for four children, work a full time job. And she did the best she could in that situation. I'm in a different situation, but my nervous system sometimes still runs genetically. And so Freya, I did it because I was hungry. Like turf this out in me. Show me where I can be more, you know, not just say feminine, but to truly be able to see all the places in my life where I am not. And to see where I am again, all self responsibility. To see where that is affecting my marriage, to see where that can maybe hurting my husband. To see like it was just so. It's so important to me again, independence, success, whatever. I told my husband on a walk the other day, he said to me, because I started a podcast and I'm just, at this moment, I'm not, I'm just putting money and everything into it. And he said to me, do you, do you even want to do any of this? He always asked me this, do you even want to do any of this? You can do none of it. And, and he has said that to me for many, many years. Many, many, many years. And I feel, I never forget when I first clicked that I could just be a mom and not have to prove myself and not have to be someone for the world. And feeding the whole world is part of My messiah sing, by the way. But I'll never forget the peace that I felt when I was standing in the kitchen one day when, when I said to him, honey, I just like, like I never allow myself to not feel that hyper level of duty. And when I. The freedom I felt when I said, when I. He said to me, I said like, wow, I could just really enjoy this time with my kids. Like I am in a different situation than my mother was and her mother was. And her mother was. I have a husband who can provide. I have this life where I can soften into motherhood. And sure I'm who I am and I'm probably always gonna have things to share and that. But it has taken me 10, 11, 12 years like this, not overnight to get to a. Like I'm still. This is like to, to peel back everything that is keeping me from what I've been yearning for the most, which I think is femininity. Not that I've had none of it, but I want more of it. I want, I want more of that. And I think many of us women who are hyper independent and hyper dutiful and I can do it all and I've had all this success. I feel like it is what all of us are yearning for if only we will allow ourselves to admit it to ourselves even if it would have offended our, you know, or if it's offending this person or whatever. I think that's what we're yearning for. And I think Freya really just, yeah, just, just brought it all to life, gave the solid like science behind it, which is my background. So it helps that it's not these vague concepts. You know what I mean? It just made me sad. It made me sad for the imbalances of the world too that girls are being told, you know, like, well, girls can be tradies and all this and like, yeah, fine, girls can't. We can be whatever we want. We can be whatever we want in this world, but there will always be consequences. There will always be biologic biological adaptations. And so it's helped me learn where to encourage my daughters differently to my son and yeah, just life changing course. I'd encourage your listeners to take it. My husband's taking the man's version of it in January. Yerasimos 01:32:26.230 - 01:32:32.790 I, I wanted to take it recently but it didn't work out in my schedule. But it's something I definitely want to look into for sure. Peta 01:32:32.790 - 01:32:33.270 Yeah. Yerasimos 01:32:33.270 - 01:33:18.100 And my wife got a lot of value out of it and I noticed how it, I noticed how it impacted our relationship as well. Just like the subtle things, you know, not coming into my territory or not like maybe nagging in a certain way or like, not when I'm driving. Not trying to, like, tell me what to do while I'm driving. Like these little subtle things and then like, not trying to compete, like, like just more soft. And the way she would speak to me in very, very subtle ways that then shifted me. You know, it's like, it's. It's interesting how that works now. Each person's responsible for their role in it and sure, do what you need to do in order to shift and live more biologically, but when one person shifts it automatically, I think shifts the other person. You know, there's like a natural dance that happens. So. Oh, yeah, yeah. Peta 01:33:18.100 - 01:35:21.080 And we don't, we don't get taught this, but Dr. Sasha teaches us that the woman, the woman acts and the man reacts. So in these, in these circles, these conscious relationship circles, we're taught that we want our man to lead. Like, why aren't you leading? Why aren't you leading? And we're not taught that. We are setting the tone. The woman is setting the tone for the home. She's setting the tone for everything. And the man is reacting to the woman. And again, I'm not talking about those. Like, if someone's in a relationship with a full narcissistic, you know, there's, there's obviously outliers. But when the woman does chat, and this is, this is the tricky thing because we all been taught like, well, the man should. You've been taught, like if he wanted to, he would and all this stuff. And without realizing that. And this is where it's difficult and it's, it's, it's diff. It's really difficult for women have, who have become hardened to, to soften. It's. It's difficult, it's clunky. And I feel like for many of us, it's the deepest work we'll ever do in this life. Truly, it's. And I am still getting there. And I'm just going to keep. Keep learning the things, keep practicing it, and very grateful that I have a husband who. Who knows me and is so curious about all this stuff. Like, we're going to lunch after this call, you know, we just love. He loves hearing all about it. But for our children, for our children to know that it's. It's okay to live biologically, not. Not meaning that you can't straight, you know, that we live in an imperfect world. We live in a modern world. So you've got to live biologically the best you can in this world, but to understand God's good design, to understand the freedom of femininity and to reclaim femininity in our lives. And I don't want it to have to be such a hard task for my daughters, which requires me to know how differently to handle certain situations between them and with my son. Yerasimos 01:35:22.920 - 01:35:26.360 Yeah, I just really appreciate you sharing all that and your experience. Peta 01:35:26.920 - 01:35:59.440 Oh, no worries. It's. It's still. I mean we've got one more call to go. It's. It's so big. All of it is so big. Like it's a 12 week course. I'm like, I just need to repeat the whole thing. I need to repeat it all. It's. I honestly just feels like we're just scratching the surface of me Nelly. I just go back and forth all the time on audio messages. It's just, it's just. I mean everything we've been taught throughout our life, it's all topsy turvy. It's. It's insane. That's the real wormhole is that everything is inverted. Yerasimos 01:35:59.440 - 01:36:13.400 Everything's inverted, everything's inverted. You know, every institution is so inverted and like that's the part of coming back home to the non inversion is like I think the work that we all have to do individually which then impacts the collective. Joel 01:36:14.120 - 01:36:14.360 Yeah. Peta 01:36:14.360 - 01:36:14.760 Yeah. Joel 01:36:15.160 - 01:36:22.800 Shout out to Nellie Barnett by the way. Previous podcast guest episode 138 she's great listening for sure. Peta 01:36:22.800 - 01:36:35.640 She has got away and because she. She mentors privately with Dr. Sasha too on, on this stuff. The but so she's, she's a wealth of knowledge in both Germany, medicine and like Freya. Joel 01:36:36.360 - 01:36:38.200 All of it amazing. Peta 01:36:38.840 - 01:36:39.320 Yeah. Joel 01:36:39.980 - 01:37:14.630 Peter, really appreciate you so much and I think it's just such an important voice, particularly at this time and there's just no coincidences in the paths that we follow in life and the information we find ourselves absorbing. And I'm personally very glad that you're a public Persona and you get to put this out there in real time and people get to be inspired by your honesty. You know, I guess in wrapping this up. Like is there kind of some, maybe some kind of final message for mothers that it's the kind of coming through or that you'd like to leave people with just whatever's there. What I was present. Peta 01:37:14.790 - 01:38:35.930 I think, I think what matters most is that we don't get like we need to get a grip on social media. I really believe that like in my, my house, my husband And I talk about it all the time. He has told me and I respect that he's told me this. He says, I see how social media affects you and I want to have a voice. And I'm still working on my sweet spot. I just wrote this 150 page ebook on creative integrity and honesty in this performative world and I wrote it and I am still finding my sweet spot. He says, post and ghost. Post and ghost. But it's just like I don't believe we should blame the tool again, self responsibility. But it is designed, it is to take over your mind. And I feel like so guilty. Yeah. As, but as a ma, as a mom and as a dad, it can take your hope for the future. It can make you live in despair. It can make you in chronically indecisive because you have a plan for your life. And then you read a post and it says Australia's gonna, America's gonna. You know what I mean? And then you're like oh my gosh, are we doing the right thing? Like it can mess with your indecision, which is crippling. And again, not blaming it. But we have to take response. We, we have to get a grip on that. I believe like for 2026 I told my husband my goal is serenity. And again, like you said, got to watch the Castle. Yerasimos 01:38:35.930 - 01:38:37.850 Just got to watch the Australian movie the Castle. Peta 01:38:37.850 - 01:38:38.330 Yeah. Yerasimos 01:38:38.810 - 01:38:40.490 Oh, oh, the Serenity. Peta 01:38:41.050 - 01:38:44.650 Exactly. Well, I watched Kath and Kim when I was in labor with my. Joel 01:38:45.130 - 01:38:45.930 It's the best. Peta 01:38:47.210 - 01:39:40.630 But I think it's. I honestly believe that we need to, to get a grip on that, have our outlet. Outlet. But to, to find the discipline, to not get caught up in that very, very intentional psychological warfare of social media. And if we care enough about it, I believe, you know, we can get that. I've got that brick device you can do. You can get the apps that block your phone. I don't believe, I don't believe that's what we need. I don't believe that's where the discipline will come from. I believe it's going to come from caring enough about not living that way and, and noticing how, how it's making us as a, as a parent. And if we care enough about that, if you care enough about our days and our time and how precious it is, I believe that we will have what it takes to create the discipline, which is very difficult to do. Yerasimos 01:39:40.790 - 01:39:41.270 Yeah. Peta 01:39:41.270 - 01:39:46.230 In this time. But I think that, I think that has, has got to be a priority for all of us. Joel 01:39:47.360 - 01:40:07.760 100 agree. It's been. It's been intense for me lately, actually. It's felt like a real struggle this past few weeks. Something more intense than usual for some reason. It's just like. It's so obvious to me what the thing is, yet still, at times it's so hard, especially when you know your business is connected to it, income's connected to it, you've got online communities. This, that it's like, man. Yerasimos 01:40:07.760 - 01:40:08.240 Yeah. Peta 01:40:08.720 - 01:40:41.510 Someone told me that, again, this might work is that you have a second phone. So you have one phone with your apps and it stays in your office and it doesn't leave your office. And then when you're everywhere else, you have a phone that does not have any of the apps on it. So when you're out and about, and so this lady on my subjects, it's the second phone method is the second phone. We all know people, they have the dumb phone. You know what I mean? But, you know, when you're out, you need the maps and all of that. So there's so many things to try, you know, some. Something I've entertained is having someone post for me, but I don't. Yerasimos 01:40:42.470 - 01:40:44.870 There's a fine line with that, you know, you kind of want, like. Peta 01:40:45.110 - 01:40:45.630 Exactly. Joel 01:40:45.630 - 01:40:45.910 I think. Yerasimos 01:40:45.910 - 01:40:47.510 I think we're capable of the creativity. Peta 01:40:47.590 - 01:40:48.790 Yeah, exactly. Yerasimos 01:40:48.950 - 01:40:51.270 I like the second phone idea. I like it. Peta 01:40:51.270 - 01:41:37.500 The second phone. And then I've also been. I've also been researching people who. Who have a thriving business and don't have social media at all. And they use their. Their podcast or email list, whatever. But it's all a choice, right? We can. We can do it. I believe we can do it. I don't believe that we. Like, sure, it takes discipline and resolve and conviction, but I don't believe that these algorithms are smarter than us. I believe that when we are plugged into. To God and into caring about our time and our family, we can have a natural discipline that, like, we're not gonna have. We're not going to have an algorithm dictate our entire lived experience while our children are young. We just not. And amen. Yeah. Joel 01:41:37.900 - 01:41:39.180 We're all. We're all in this together. Peta 01:41:39.980 - 01:41:40.500 Yeah. Joel 01:41:40.500 - 01:41:41.820 Where we go one, we go all. Yerasimos 01:41:46.140 - 01:41:52.540 Peter, it's such a pleasure to meet you and connect with you. I really appreciate you coming on and sharing your time with us. Peta 01:41:53.180 - 01:41:58.060 I'm thankful that you had me on. I know. Joel, we spoke about this, like, four years ago or something. Joel 01:41:58.710 - 01:42:04.470 I know. Hey, I messaged you on Instagram. It wouldn't have been the same conversation back then. You know, like, no. Yerasimos 01:42:04.790 - 01:42:05.510 Four years ago. Joel 01:42:06.070 - 01:42:17.670 Yeah, no, we got the. We got the Good Women podcast. We got the Honeycomb substack. We got Peter Kelly on Instagram. I'm gna put all those links in there. Anything else that you want to share with our people? Yerasimos 01:42:18.470 - 01:42:18.870 No. Peta 01:42:19.110 - 01:42:25.510 I mean, no, that's gr. They've got plenty of waffle. I think they've got plenty of waffle. My waffle to listen to. Joel 01:42:27.310 - 01:42:27.670 Awesome. Peta 01:42:27.670 - 01:42:46.510 Thanks so much for having me, guys, and for all the work you do. I watch all your stuff, and I know that you're building an awesome community on Telegram where people can just wrestle, honestly, which I think is just everything right now, you know, beyond the tribalism and just be able to just wrestle and be honest. And I love that you're providing a space for people to do that. Joel 01:42:46.910 - 01:43:01.570 Nah. Appreciate it. Thank you for being who you are. I know our people are gonna get so much value from this. I do encourage them to go seek you out because it's definitely something that can add to their lives, for sure. All that being said, hope you guys enjoyed the episode, and we'll see you next time. Peta 01:43:02.290 - 01:43:03.170 Thank you, guys.