Joel & Yerasimos Community, Courage & the Choices That Shape Destiny

Speaker A 00:00:01.520 - 00:00:40.490 What's up, everybody? Welcome back to the Here for the Truth podcast. It is Thursday 30th April. We just spent essentially the last week over in Bandera, Texas at the incredible Confluence event, co created by our friends Alex Z, Molly Engelhardt, Mike Hulshu, Lindsay Strong. It's just another awesome time. I'm feeling a little bit lower on the energy side as I come back home and start to recalibrate. But we've got a lot to discuss here, man, because it was so awesome to drop in. First time I saw you in person in over a year. So how you doing? Speaker B 00:00:42.010 - 00:00:58.580 I'm doing great, man. I mean, obviously I love Confluence. I've been to every single one. There's. This was the fourth one. I think it was really special that we had like 30 plus people from our community that were there. I think last year we had what, like 10, 12 or something like that. Speaker A 00:00:58.740 - 00:00:59.220 Yeah. Speaker B 00:00:59.540 - 00:02:48.710 And you know, to go there on the integration day, to arrive or on the pre day and sustained an integration day was like whatever. It was like the 22nd, 23rd to the 20, 22nd to 28th. So it was like a full, almost a full week. But I feel good, obviously, coming back home, just needing to settle in and realizing all the duties and things I need to handle. But I feel great. I feel lit up. I feel, I feel honored to have been included at that event. You know, the fact that we got to present another workshop there this time we were in the, in the brewery. We had a pretty awesome turnout. Like, I feel great about it. The feedback that we got was amazing. Also, it's really nice when like you get. Receive unsolicited feedback, like where people just come up to you as opposed to like you just go up to them, they're like, oh yeah, like you were great. You know, like from people that just come up to you and find you and then initiate saying nice things, especially from people that you deeply respect and admire, like the work that they do. So I felt very good about it. Yeah, man, I just, you know, I say it all the time. I love community. I love connection. I'm so grateful for technology. I'm grateful that we've been able to connect with so many people from around the world. I'm grateful that we have an online community. And yet there is no substitute for being in person, meeting in person, hugging each other, laughing, sharing a meal together, coming to the realization of how tall or how short someone is, because it's hard to decipher when you just see them in a square on zoom. Like, all of that, it's just. It's fun, man. And so I feel. I definitely feel nourished, slightly tired, you know, a lot of late nights at Confluence, but it was worth it. Speaker A 00:02:49.590 - 00:02:52.550 Doc Massey from a few episodes ago is quite tall. Speaker B 00:02:54.150 - 00:03:11.530 Yeah, definitely tall. And we say this all the time, but Alec's a giant. Like, if you see, like, posting stories like. Like the final day of, like, posting pictures that are stories, it's like. It's like four of us in a photo with Alec, and Alec looks like he's like, Bigfoot. Yeah. Speaker A 00:03:12.410 - 00:04:01.660 Yeah, man. It's. It's amazing. I definitely agree with the sentiment around, like, in person, the connection. There's just. You don't get the full breadth of, you know, the energy of someone and the nuance of someone unless you're there in person, connecting the subtle moments, like the gaps, the way someone looks and feels, you know, and all the nuances that come with, like, that real in person connection. And it's dope to get that cup filled, you know, and for me, I think, like, being here in Mexico and we got community, but, like, not that level. Like, the Confluence level of community is like a different level of like, on the tip, on the same page, love, respect kind of vibe. So, yeah, it's definitely nice to get that cup filled also. I think it's like the one time a year I get to like, party, like, hit the. Hit the dance floor. Speaker B 00:04:02.100 - 00:04:05.060 So if I party to stay up late and like, dance a little bit. Speaker A 00:04:05.140 - 00:05:16.250 Yeah, bro, But I made like, lady Flick flick. Massimo, member of our community. She had like, a DJ set on, like, the second night there, and we had all our people up there supporting her, and she was just incredible, bro. It's. He just, yeah, the level of the proof of work that someone has put into their craft, so then just like, show up. It was. It was amazing, man. I just, like, really admiring the level of talent that exists, like, within the wider community, but even specifically just within friends of the Truth members. Like, that one moment on the second last day when we had the impromptu musical jam session, Carl was breaking it down on his guitar, just able to do anything, sing anything, you know, we have Taya just going acoustic and singing like Icelandic folk angelic songs. Just so deep, deep, you know, Then I was doing my thing, played some of my songs acoustically, and then Deepak comes through with the vibes. Just the talent that exists and, like, what is just like spontaneously cultivated when awesome, loving, creative people come together. I want more of those experiences. Speaker B 00:05:17.530 - 00:05:52.110 Yeah, well, I think we will have more of those experiences. I think people are seeing the value of it, and I know we do. And so, who knows? Maybe, maybe down the road we might create something. We'll, we'll see. But, like, to piggyback on what you said, I, like, some people, like, their, their full essence, their full personality, like, it just can't come out when you're sitting in a chair in front of a screen. And so it's so cool to, like, be surprised by some people you meet. Some people, like, oh, wow. Like, you're, like, a lot funnier in person, and you actually talk a lot more shit in person. Speaker A 00:05:52.980 - 00:05:54.020 So much more dynamism. Speaker B 00:05:54.580 - 00:08:12.530 Yeah. You know, and it's like, it's just really cool. And then, like, oh, wow. You give amazing hugs. Like, it's just. Yeah, man. I, I, I love it. Sometimes when I think about, like, the moments and the connections like this literally almost can bring me close to tears, because it's like the depth of heart and love of the people that show up to an event like that. It's pretty special, and I look forward to it every year. And so we'll see, we'll see what comes from this. We'll see if, like, more and more people are inspired. Because this is the thing, in my opinion, is that, like, you go to an event like that, you get the juice, but what do you do with it? How do you apply it back home? Like, for some of us, obviously people in our world, in our community, know that Sophie and I have built community over the years here in Topanga. But for some people, they're like, well, I don't really know that many people. That's why I go to these events. It's like, well, what are you doing about it? Like, how do you, how can you create something even if it's like a monthly dinner of four people that then grows to six people or ten people, or you show up at a park every day, like, or not every day, obviously you have life. But, like, you show up to a park, like, once a month, like, it's up to you. Like, you have to build. You have to create. Now I get it. Some people are geared more towards, like, building things socially. But if you're sitting there and going, like, where are the people in my town? I trust, trust me, people are there. I guarantee you, if you share certain views and beliefs about certain things, they're not. May not be millions or tens of thousands or hundreds, but I guarantee you there are people out there that look at the world in a similar way. And move through the world in a similar way, or if not, they are open to more. And so there is the opportunity for you to give your gifts, for you to share your knowledge. And so I just. I just can't get behind anymore. It's 2026. I can't get behind anymore of, like, the victim mentality, the complaining, the like, oh, my life is this. Or there are no people that understand me or see me. Like, sorry, like, that could have worked in 2020, 2021, but, like, it's 2026. You have the entire Internet, you on your hand in your hands, in front of your computer. Like, what are you doing about it? Speaker A 00:08:13.090 - 00:08:34.590 Yeah, it doesn't need to be like, thousands or hundreds or even tens of people, like, a few awesome people that you can get together with and connect deeply with and be able to, like, laugh and get deep and be vulnerable and be creative and be silly. Like, that. I. I agree with you. Is within reach for nearly all of us. Exactly. It does. Speaker B 00:08:34.590 - 00:10:04.140 It doesn't have to be a lot of people, you know, and like, we had Lui on recently, you know, talking about gm and we talk about. She was talking about how, like, you know, at the core, like, all conflicts is, like existential isolation. And so it's like, where are you isolated one from yourself? I mean, that's obviously everything Joel and I talk about. But, like, with others, like, it's important to laugh, to sing, to dance, to. To just share the shit that's happening in your lives. No one, no one escapes this. Whatever this is, this life without dealing with shit. But the more we keep it in, the more that we don't. We don't allow ourselves to be seen from others to. To like, to be held by others, to weep in front of others, to hold other people when they weep or laugh or whatever. Like, that's the medicine. And we've become so much more isolated. And again, I love technology. I love it. But it's like, we sometimes feel like we're more connected and more social than we are because we're connecting with people online, on social media and Instagram, we're sending dms. And that's great, but it's not the whole picture. Like, this is. This is a fucking blip of human history, this type of connection. For most of our history, we were around a fire. We're around dinner tables all the time with our people, with our tribes, you know, moving through, dealing with traumas, dealing with these. Or dealing with these crazy events, but working through them so they don't impact Our bodies in the ways that they do in an isolated, fragmented society. Speaker A 00:10:04.860 - 00:10:37.900 Yeah, yeah, well said, man. It kind of reminds me, I think, you know, we used to speak a lot about how people would like go to cinema and like observe heroic acts and kind of vicariously get the hit of like, oh, I'm doing something real, I'm being heroic, I'm moving towards something great from watching media. And it's almost like we do the same thing now with social media and online technology. Our systems like maybe vicariously believe we're getting the real hit and the real dosage of community and connection, but ultimately it's not really a substitute, you know, for the real thing. Speaker B 00:10:38.220 - 00:11:24.250 Well, it's not. And it's like my wife did her entire dissertation on the interrelational dynamics of touch. Touch is not a luxury, it is a necessity for survival. And so if you're not receiving touch and connection in this way from your community, from your loved ones, I get it, you might get it from your partner, your dog and your family, that's great. But like there's something deeper, there's something greater that I think is important. And so again, this is an invitation to every person. Like where in your life could you have more connection, more community in real life? And where can you allow others to see you and know you? Because that's the way forward. Shout out to, to, to Alec, obviously, again for the work that he does. But like that is the way forward. We have to find ways to gather and connect with one another in person. Speaker A 00:11:27.770 - 00:11:30.730 Oh, true story, Brian. True story. Speaker B 00:11:31.210 - 00:11:34.410 Yeah, there's some, there's something else that came into mind. But then I went on to that. Speaker A 00:11:34.410 - 00:12:53.850 But you're a good man. And the thing is, it's like, it's difficult, I think it's more difficult to find real deep connections if you're not, you know, really being yourself and really authentically moving towards self actualization in terms of your unique path. Because very often, at least in my personal experience, the realest and deepest connections came as a byproduct of me moving closer towards who I actually am, what I actually want, and taking real world action steps towards that. Like I would never have met you. Friends of the truth would never have been built. I never would have moved to Mexico. The opportunities for me to connect in person, that events like Confluence from Australia were nearly like, you know, zero opportunity. Whereas now being on, on this side of the world, like what I'm saying is when you, when you move towards self actualization, you naturally gravitate to, towards the People, the colleagues, the networks, the peers, the friends, etc. That are also on that tip and on that path. So like, if. If you feel confused, if your life feels vague, if you feel disconnected from deeper purpose, like that, in my opinion, is probably a core part of why you might feel disconnected and isolated from community as well. Speaker B 00:12:54.810 - 00:14:17.840 Yeah, for sure. And it's like, man, look at your own life, look at the lives of some of the people. You know, the stories that you hear of. Like, because of one action, someone met their soulmate, you know, because they sent an email, they made a phone call, they showed up at this one event 20 minutes late. Instead of like, we have no idea the magic that exists, this co creation of you and who you are and your consciousness and the actions that you take and life and the things that come into your life. You know, I know you just planted that. You kind of shared it and we shared it before, but like, it is wild when you think of what we have built and all the friendships that have come within, friends of the truth within, rise above the herd, et cetera. And it's like all that started because, I mean, we can go way, way, way, way, way back. But let's, let's. Like I was born on June 17, 1980, and Joel was born, you know, but like, again, it's like feeling the call for me to finally reach out, to have a reason to reach out to Michael Tazarian and then Joel to hear an episode and then to be like, oh, let me reach out to this random person on Instagram. And here we are, five years later, 295 episodes later, hundreds of people connecting, like relationships being built. Like, it's just, it's so magical. What can happen when you, when you honor the impulse to do something from this deeper place. Speaker A 00:14:18.630 - 00:17:16.740 Yeah, exactly. And like when you hear like phrases like timeline shift or like reality shift, it's like, that's what it is, you know, it's being willing to answer the call of the other, more authentic timeline that is always presence, giving you signposts, impulses, reasons to like, move forward and answer a question or reach out to someone or connect with someone, etc. Then you follow that thread, you keep pulling it, then all of a sudden you've experienced the timeline shift because there's a previous timeline that exists for me where I'm living in Australia, I'm working the family business. Every single day I'm driving to a dusty factory or an office, and I'm doing admin and I'm doing accounting and I'm Trying to collect debt from dodgy, you know, construction operators within Australia that know is is very hard to pull money from. I'm doing all these things that don't excite me, that don't light me up, that aren't really connected to the essence of Joel Rafiti, what I'm actually interested in, what I can actually offer and that that timeline exists, it was real, you know, and it's like per chance moments where you say no and you answer the call of possibility and opportunity that is exciting. And even though it might feel far fetched through consistency of answering those minor calls time and time again, like you can experience massive, profound shifts in one's life. And I've shared it many times before, but I remember having real inner dialogues with myself where it's like, Joel, you're just going to succumb to a life that doesn't feel authentically yours, that feels half lived and it just is what it is. But man, hope, like faith, like belief, like doing a thing and then feeling really excited and then being aware of those other voices that come in where it's like, oh, but this can't be real. This can't really become my reality. The other shoe is going to drop at any moment and like, okay, honoring, acknowledging those voices and then being able to continually ground in the hope, in the faith, in the potential, in the possibility, in the excitement, in the authentic wave of energy. This is the work, you know, and I really genuinely believe, because I've said it since day one and I'll say it against now, that the best life possible is available to all of us, you know, and this is so much about what this ongoing conversation for close to 300 episodes has been about. And you know, what all the kind of work that we do, whether it's the self esteem reset, rise above the herd, friends of the truth is, is centered around as well. You know, if something feels off, if something doesn't feel right, if there's a deeper in a whisper of pain being like there's more to my existence than this and please take that seriously, dude,. Speaker B 00:17:17.140 - 00:17:20.380 I'm going to be 46 years old in a couple months. Speaker A 00:17:20.380 - 00:17:27.200 I was telling Alyssa the other day, like you're supposed to be closer to 50 than 40. I'm like, what? That's so crazy. Speaker B 00:17:27.920 - 00:19:51.380 It's wild, you know, and, but like I say that because I think of what you just said about like the potential timelines, the previous, like there's so many different timelines because there's probably a good handful of major like choice Points, decisions that I made, shifts. And it's like I often think about what my life would have been in multiple areas of my life if I stuck with something or if I didn't make the right turn or the left turn or move or. It's just, it's just wild, you know? And like I, I can sit here now and look in the mirror and go, I feel pretty freaking blessed with how my life has turned out. I have my own personal issues and challenges that I navigate. But generally speaking, like, I am freaking blessed. And like so many people, you know, have been, have thrown this word lucky out to me over the years. You're so lucky. And I go, okay, sure. On one level, I was born into a family, like loving family and things of that nature. I get there's certain things that I kind of came into. But when you think about the amount of choices that you have at your disposal in a single day. Yeah, like single day, you know, I chose to get on the computer with you today to continue doing what we're doing. I could just be like, you know this, I don't want to do it anymore. I want to go sit on a beach somewhere and just play with myself. You know what I mean? Like, no. And it's like, how many choices do you make in a day that lead you to the thing, to the thing, to the thing, to the thing, to the thing, to the thing. And then you're like, okay, this is my life. And like I say that line often, the proof is in the pudding. Not to like talk to people who are like, I don't really like my life, I don't like what I'm doing. But it's like for you to take back the reins, for you to claim agency, for you to, for you to realize this horrible thing may have happened to me in my life and I may have made a quote unquote wrong turn and I'm at a job, a dead end job, or I'm in this relationship that like I just stay in. But when you take back the power of self responsibility, like all these things that we talk about in the self esteem reset, you know, the six pillars that moves you towards living a life of high self esteem, living a life of, of owning your life and owning your decisions and taking responsibility, like that's freaking empowering. Speaker A 00:19:51.620 - 00:19:52.060 Yeah. Speaker B 00:19:52.060 - 00:20:15.860 You know, not just a good, like, like take ownership of like the shit, the thing, like the maybe the things you said to someone that weren't ideal and you hurt someone's feelings. Like you have to own all of It. This isn't just like owning the good stuff. You have to own all of it. The ways you lacked integrity, you know, the ways you've hurt other people. Like, all of it. You have to bring into your life and go, this is me. This is my life. I've made choices. I've made decisions. Speaker A 00:20:15.870 - 00:20:16.030 You. Speaker B 00:20:16.260 - 00:21:04.950 And this is where I am right now. This is the state of my life. And you need to feel the reality of that. You need to feel the pain of the choices you made up to this point, or feel the bliss and the joy of all the choices you made at this point. It's all yours. And the question is, for anyone listening now, what do you do from here on out? Yeah, you just keep kicking the can down the road, Keep riding that hamster wheel. Or do you go, enough is enough? The pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of jumping into the unknown, of doing something different. And if you allow yourself to know that and sense that and feel that, that can be an amazing motivator towards moving towards something. And what's the great quote that people attribute to Goethe? But it's not. Speaker A 00:21:05.030 - 00:21:07.030 But it's like, I was coming in with it. Yeah. Speaker B 00:21:07.350 - 00:21:17.720 Oh, you're coming that, like, fortune favors the bold, you know, when you make a choice, Providence, there are unseen forces that come to support you. You have to make a choice. Speaker A 00:21:17.960 - 00:25:46.680 That's what's going to say, like, lucky, you know, is. Is a misnomer in. In many ways, you know, as Goethe said, fortune favors the bold, you know, but, like, blessings are always preceded by courage. You know, it's like people look at the fruit of one's life and then say, that person's so lucky, with complete disconnection of, like, the hundreds and thousands of difficult, uncertain, you know, fearful choices that that person made to, like, then experience this reality that someone from the outset can just look at and be like, oh, that person's so lucky. Oh, I wish that was my life. Oh, I wish, you know, things were. Things were that way for me. And, you know, this is deeply connected to the topic of our workshop as well at Confluence. Self concept is destiny. And basically the whole idea is that your fates, your destiny is directly correlated to your inner paradigm, right? Your self image. And that inner paradigm that self image is built upon. Essentially, the choices that you have made or did not make that are either connected to the truth of your being, are connected to purpose, integrity, consciousness, or a knot. And so we have this thermostat within us that guides our life, you know, and basically we're going to continue to gravitate and experience lives that are calibrated through the temperature that that thermostat is set upon. You know, and it's not just choices that you made or didn't make. Obviously conditioning comes into, obviously family, culture, religion, media, things of this nature. Play, play a part in that. But all of us have certain cards that we're dealt in our life. And as adults, it's our opportunity to as consciously as possible, turn the lights of our consciousness upon those cards that we've been given and reform those cards and play the best game possible that is available to us. Like, we all have a starting ground. But then it's like, okay, do we dwell in these cards that, you know, just seem unfortunate or, you know, we're not necessarily happy happy with? Or do we realize the outcome that we want to achieve within our life? Do we begin to grasp what are the things that we really want to move towards and then begin to play our cards accordingly? And changing the way that you've played the cards your entire life is not necessarily an easy process because we, we might have like just always skirted by the familiar with the status quo playing the same kind of hand. But I think for all of us there is a difference way, and there is a hand that we haven't necessarily played yet that seems risky on the outset, but really it is the least risky thing that we could possibly do. Because at the end of the day, you know, the life that is inauthentic, the life that is just feeling meh, that is just connected to the, to the mundane, to the status quo, that is the real risk is continuing to live that life where really the safe choice is moving towards what your soul actually wants in this lifetime and in this experience. So when we work with the inner paradigm, when we work with the self concept, very often it begins with you mustering up a deeper sense of courage within you to do something different. And when I say do something different, I'm not saying waiting for some big opportune moment to like, do some heroic act or to just walk out of the office or to just storm out of the relationship, whatever it might be, right? Doing something different is available to you every minute of every single day. And it begins with awareness of the conversation that is happening within you, right? And when you begin to change that conversation through awareness, through creating space between the conversation that's always happened and the new conversation that is waiting, you begin to make different choices in your life. You begin to move towards self esteem, you begin to honor the truth of your being on a deeper level. And to me, that's what God wants of all of us more than anything else. And the biggest and greatest form of blasphemy that exists is not to honor that. Speaker B 00:25:49.240 - 00:29:36.990 All right, I think this episode's over. Well said. Now that. No, man, I. I totally hear what you're coming from and where you're coming from, and it's really special. To connect with people at conference. I'm bringing back to Confluence to connect with people there first, just in general, like, people that I had conversations with. Like, I've been wanting to come to this event for a couple years, but I didn't for some reason. And this is my first time here. And it's, like, to see the look in their eyes, to see that opening, that expansion, to be like, oh, I had this conversation with that person, and this opportunity opened up for me here, like, like, because they made a choice to do something different to honor that calling of, like, I want to go be around. Now, over a thousand people. I mean, the first one that I was at had, I think, 80 paid tickets. It was, like, 130 or 40 people, like, including staff. Second one had, like, three to 400 people. Last year was like, six, 700 people, and now 1100 people. So, again, every experience is different, but again, more and more people are like, I want to come to something like this. And then you have over five, six days, you have all these different conversations. Like, who knows what is possible for that? And the other thing was so cool, I didn't realize it. Well, you told me Chris was coming. But there were a few people that did rise above the herd a few years ago that came, and I'm having conversations with people. Like, one of them came up to me and was like. Like, almost was pretty much crying and thankful to, like, what we've built and what we've created and telling me that they've been sober for 600 days. And it's like, I'm like, wait, what? Like. Like the. The joy that I have, the tears that come to my eyes. It's like these people that are answering the call within themselves based on whatever they're dealing with, whatever they're navigating in their life, because they want to change, they want to grow, they want to evolve. And it's not easy. It's not easy for many of us, the patterns we have, the. The experiences we've had to make changes. But, like, that's life. Like, it ain't gonna be easy. You need courage. You need to deal with like, stop complaining, stop making excuses. You know, be the hero of your life. Do whatever you need to do based on your background, based on your upbringing, based on your financial situation. Do what you need to do to move the needle forward. And so it's just the coolest thing to see these people that are having these experiences that come to us and they're like, y. I still, I'm going over the material from Rise above the Herd and I'm seeing in a whole new way and it's impacting my life in this way. X, Y and Z. And you're just like, whoa. You know, and. And that's, that's why we show up. Yeah, why we show up. I mean, I'm gonna be honest. I could be in my garden with my cats and my wife and my mom for all day. I'd be happy, but I wouldn't be fully happy because I love sharing knowledge. I love inspiring people to look at themselves honestly and truthfully and be like, who the am I and what do I really want and how do I want to show up in my life and what experiences do I want to feel? That's what I want for every person. I want the joy, the bliss. I want the. I want the connection to the depth. I want you to feel your pain. I want you to be dynamic and fluid and not just live in a one season world, you know, I want you to be a whole integrated person, dancing between the darkness and the light and being like, I've been given this gift from God. I have so much life force running through me and I want to live that and experience that and I want to know my gifts and I want to give my gifts in the world and I want to receive value for my gifts also so I can do the things that I want and so I could have the things that I want and I can provide what I want to provide however you want to. Speaker A 00:29:38.910 - 00:29:40.030 Can I get an amen? Speaker B 00:29:41.710 - 00:29:50.600 Praise the Lord. That was a nice little. What was gonna say Real memory from our workshop. Speaker A 00:29:51.160 - 00:30:21.420 Yeah, it's so cool to like think back on the brevity of the impact that, you know, simple conversations on a podcast like this have had and, and can have. And like, it's, it's like especially in today's day and age, very often it's just I listen to a podcast and that changed my life. Like you listen to a podcast and it changed your life. I listen to a podcast and it changed my life. People listening to podcasts and making decisions and changing their lives, you know, and so Just get on your, get on your soapbox, people, you know, like, do,. Speaker B 00:30:21.420 - 00:31:58.200 Do, do your thing, dude. I guarantee you the majority of people in today's world, their lives have been changed by podcasts way more than the shit they learned in school. The hundreds of thousands of dollars that they've spent, especially in the US going to university, like, oh, wow, I didn't really learn that much. But then I left school and I went on, I continued on my hero's journey and I came across a book or a workshop or a teacher or a podcast and like, boom, shit made sense. Things opened up for me. I felt inspired. And it's like, that's the cool thing with technology. If you have this desire to share wisdom and knowledge, all, all you have to do is like, figure out some skills or find a partner that has more skills than you in certain areas and create something and build something and share your voice. And it doesn't mean you have to. It could just be something. You can just talk amongst a group of people. I'm not telling you you need to have a podcast. I'm not telling you you have to speak to thousands of people. You have to just tune inwards and get to know yourself and what this unique gift of creation that you are and feel into. What do you really sense and feel about yourself and what do you want and what do you want to create and what do you want to produce and do that? You know, you may just want to live off grid on a farm with some goats and have a few friends and sing by the fire and raise kids, great. If you, if that's what you deeply, deeply in your bones want, great. But you have to know what deep in your bones is calling you, bro. Speaker A 00:31:58.360 - 00:34:41.480 Like, I think about, I think about school and it's like everything that I discovered post school, like I was never, I never was introduced to Ayn Rand in school. I was never introduced to Nathaniel Brandon in school, Joseph Campbell, nothing. Neville Goddard, Maxwell Maltz, like all these people, all this knowledge all came through hints that were dropped, you know, all essentially through podcasts and through, you know, me following that authentic. Oh, this conversation sounds interesting. Then all of a sudden you're fed, you know, life affirming, coherent philosophies which actually support human well being and support human flourishing and is not just reductionistic conditioning designed to lead you to a life of mundane conformity and a slow, stagnant death of one soul. You know, and for so many of us, we really need to get to the root of ultimately, that is the overarching umbrella of what was pummeled into all of our minds during our 15,000 hours within schools, you know, and again, yeah, that's a hard pill to swallow. Yeah, that sucks. Yet that has a lot to do with. With the state of the life that you're currently living. But let's be real, if you're listening to this conversation, you're already making a. A different decision, right? You're already aware of where that path leads. And I guess, you know, our emphasis and our call for you is just what is next, right? Because there is a small next step available to all of us at all times. Evolution is never a finished process. So stay on the path. Hold wholly your highest hope, as Nietzsche would say. And what is the vision? What is the image within your mind of the best life possible to you? Feel that, ground it, and then ask yourself, what is the next small actionable step? I need to take on this path and just do that forever. I don't know why, but I wanna. I wanna quote. I wanna quote the great Rocky Balboa here. You know, the world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place. I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how. How hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Speaker B 00:34:45.000 - 00:35:23.410 I love those movies again. I love movies, but you have to approach them in a way where you actually take the lessons and apply them to your own life as opposed to getting that fix and thinking that you lived that. Oh, yes, I just watched Gladiator. Oh, yeah. Now I'm going to go back to, like, hating my life, doing the same thing over and over again. Like, no, you have to take that. Have to. You have to almost observe some of this. It's interesting. Like, when you think of, like, entertainment, you especially deep entertainment, you have to, like, be in it fully and also be able to, like, on the outside, observe, to kind of take in the lesson and then bring it forth, you. Speaker A 00:35:23.410 - 00:36:52.640 Know, because there's no real new stories, there's universal stories that have existed throughout time that resonate and speak to deep archetypal things that exist within us. So when we observe these stories and then we feel ourselves having a visceral reaction or a visceral connection to the story, that's speaking to an archetype very often unlived within you, you know, so what you're saying is correct. Like, read the story, watch the movie. But then are you at. At the same time able to connect to the depth of your own personal mythology? And when I say personal mythology, I mean your own unique story, the unique map that is inscribed on your soul, on your heart, and that exists for every single one of us. So being able to zoom in and then zoom out and asking yourself the question, why was I born? Why do I exist? Because that is not random, right? And if you subscribe to that being random, then all of life essentially becomes meaningless. But the root of meaning comes from the affirmative of that question, that I was born for a reason. And then your life unfolds by discovering the answers to that question, which happens over time. Speaker B 00:36:56.620 - 00:37:05.180 Yeah, man. I mean, I don't really have much more to say, dude. Go forth and live your life, my friends. Speaker A 00:37:05.420 - 00:39:43.430 Yeah, totally, totally. Let's switch it up a bit. I mean, I made a post recently when I came back from Confluence, you know, just kind of honoring my wife in, like. Because it is a big thing, man. Is a big thing. And it really hit me harder this year than any other years. Like mothers, bro, the role mothers play, what mothers go through. Even, like, you know, temporarily parking all the things that we're talking about, their, their, their interests, their passions, space for their own creativity. Like temporarily parking that for, you know, formative years of children's lives to be able to give more energy to like, raising children and bringing up well adjusted, well connected children, you know, like, it's, It's a massive freaking thing. And just like watching Alyssa and watching my wife, like, travel, bro, like, be in the sweltering heat in. In Confluence, you know, go back to the hotel and then, like, do it again and like, day after day and be, and show up and be willing and, and be real and like, have all these psychic and energetic resources to. Towards the kids, making sure the kids are safe, the kids are fed, the kids are cared for, and then still trying to engage in like, conversations and like, get their own cups filled from friends and like, being able to watch like a speaker or a workshop, then still have half of your bandwidth. Like, we can't really relate, bro, on the same level. So this is just a general shout out to all mothers, you know, especially of young children that listen, that resonate, that show up, that do the war work, that soldier through, like, even throughout that process, you know, like, I just extend full honoring gratitude towards what, what you guys do is. It's incredible. And there's so many mothers with young kids that were at Confluence, and some of them single mothers as well. You know, that's like, not. I'm going to go be with my people. Doesn't matter how many obstacles, how many hurdles are in the way, what I have to do each day. I'm going to go be with my people. I'm going to go get my. My cup filled. You know, even. Even on the dance floor, even at night, even I have to bring a hammock. Like, hey, my kid up for. For. For a moment in time, you know, Even if it means my kids are just like, playing randomly on this rage until midnight. You know, whatever. Let's go have this experience. I think. I think that's dope as hell. Speaker B 00:39:44.230 - 00:41:21.310 Yeah. I think it's. It's again, the beauty of community and support and containment that we have for one another. But again, it comes down to the individual going, this is what I want to experience. I'm going to figure out and make it work. But I want to echo what you said. You know, I'm so happy that I feel like it's like the respect and love of mothers is coming back into the fold. You know, for a long time it was like, oh, you're just a mother. And I'm like, are you kidding me? Like, we want to. We want to change this world. Like, you need healthy, psychologically healthy mothers raising kids. Of course men have their role to play. Of course. But like, I. I've said it before. I am. I would never be who I am today if it wasn't for my mother. Yeah, I have a deep love for my mother, deep respect and like, and what she dealt with in her life. Like, yeah, my life is a freaking cakewalk. My mom was dirt poor, living in the mountains of Greece, eating some. Some wild greens and maybe some lentils and cheese, and like, the eldest of her six of her five siblings, initially. And then you're six years old, and then you just find out your mom was shot and killed in the fields of Greece as she's out there gathering things. And then you have to raise your siblings with your aunt and grandmother, like, and then until your dad finds another wife, and then you have two more half siblings, dirt poor. Like, what? And I'm sitting here complaining because I don't have enough bars on my wi Fi, you know? Like, I get it. I get it's like, relative, you know, didn't have to deal with that, but, like, perspective, people. Freaking perspective. Speaker A 00:41:21.790 - 00:42:19.810 It's. It's it's crazy how similar our mother's journeys and stories are. You know, like my mom born in Lebanon, you know, and then parents separated and you know, her dad decided to come to Australia and take the three kids, you know, so separated from her mother at a very young age, then being the woman of the house from the age of like six and like cooking for her brothers from like six onwards. And lots of tragic that happened in the, in the, in, in, in, in the interim between all of that, which is that I can't even connect with, you know. But yeah, dude, it's like far out, man, when you think of some of these stories and like, it's mild, it's very mild. Some of the stuff that, you know, we create victim complexes from. Not to say that, you know, there isn't a time and place for all of it, but you know, like transmutation, transformation, turning your gaze towards the sun is always an option. Speaker B 00:42:22.090 - 00:43:33.460 Yeah, I just love, I just, I always have to keep coming back to the school. Hard times. Great strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. Weak men create hard times. And I'm just saying, man, obviously this is people in general to some degree, but it's like the level of resilience that some people from like the old world and old country have, like, again, I don't want, I don't want that life. But how can we take the homeopathic dose of that and apply it to our lives and how can it support us? Because, you know, they have their own issues, obviously. My mom probably has her own, has her own nervous system, dysregulation, I could talk things like that. But generally speaking, you think about what they've been able to accomplish, you know, even in spite of all that, you know, in order to still be a place of love and connection for your children. And so yeah, again, shout out to the mothers. Much love, much respect. Like, you know, you are playing a enormous role in how this world ends up by how you, you know, how you love and nurture other children and your family. And so, yeah, it is, it's so. I'm in awe, like, like you, man, of seeing how mothers are showing up at an event like Confluence. It's pretty special. And yeah. Speaker A 00:43:36.420 - 00:45:10.990 All right y', all, we're going to wrap this one up right here, right now. If any of what we have shared has resonated and you have not yet taken the leap, we have created a free 7 day mini course which people, you know, without any over exaggeration are raving about. So it's called the Self Esteem Resets. 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If you do finish it within the seven days, the knowledge is yours forever. Selfesteemreset.com I'm Joel, this is Erasmus. We're here for the truth, lots of love, peace.