Joel & Yerasimos The 10 Commandments of Being Real AF

[Speaker 3] (0:00 - 0:07) You are now listening to the Here for the Truth podcast, hosted by Joel Rafiti and Yerasimos. [Speaker 1] (0:10 - 1:54) All right, everybody, welcome back to the Here for the Truth podcast. I'm Joel Rafiti, and I've got my co-host Yerasimos with me as always. And today, it's just us talking about the Ten Commandments of being a real AF. This is something that we recently put together and wanted to do a podcast on. For those that don't know, AF stands for as fuck. I was about to jump in there and be like, I think we could say as fuck on our podcast. So the Ten Commandments of being real as fuck is what we're discussing today. And this is all about cutting through the superficiality and coming to live in alignment with the truth, you know, stepping into full authenticity. Right before we dive into this discussion, I want to announce that the next round of Rise Above the Herd, our 10-week psycho-spiritual program to unlock your potential and live more authentically, enrollment is now open from today until October the 15th. We're taking on 12 students only. So if you'd like to learn more and apply, you can head to riseabovetheherd.co. This is our 11th time running the program with 100 plus students having gone through it now. So if that resonates and you'd like to learn more, head to riseabovetheherd.co and submit an application, I guess, with enough time to secure your spot. All right. So commandment number one, I shall choose the truth at all costs and have zero tolerance for the lie. Opening statements, Gerasimos. [Speaker 2] (1:55 - 2:36) Whoa, that's a big one. That's the one to start with. I mean, I think it's pretty self-explanatory. It's like, where are you lying to yourself? Where are you ignoring truths that are an external world? And you know, like, what are you doing about that? How's that impacting your life? I think many people want to shy away from uncomfortable things in their life because of what it would entail. And very often what that means is having to change things up in your life, maybe have a difficult conversation in your relationships, maybe leave a job that you're not fulfilled at. There's so many ways that we kind of deceive ourselves and ignore what's facing us. And then ultimately, how does that impact you? So it's like, have no tolerance for the bullshit. [Speaker 1] (2:38 - 4:32) Yeah. I mean, this is the crux of everything that we talk about. This podcast is called Here for the Truth. This is the core components of self-esteem. This is the core component of living authentically, of living a life of alignment where we're reducing the dissonance between who we are and what we do between our thoughts and our beliefs and our actions and our behaviors in the world. And so many of us and myself for a long time exerted so much useless energy and psychic bandwidth just trying to carry this misalignment or to carry a life that one is living that isn't really reflective of who they are and affording lies and developing a habit of sharing white lies and just going along to get along and all these things which just siphon our energy, siphon our productive life force and keep us on a day-to-day basis just a lot less than we really can be. And to me, truth is life, truth is power, truth is love. And whenever someone's feeling lost, whenever you're feeling lost, it's like, okay, where have I drifted from the truth? And how can I choose more truth in this moment, in this decision, in where I'm going? So I think really embodying this commandment of having zero tolerance for the lie, that's a Michael Tasarian term, but within and without, no bullshit, have that meter redlining on all levels and just adopting that simply can really transform one's life pretty radically. [Speaker 2] (4:33 - 7:43) Yeah, I agree, man. I remember when I first heard Michael say that phrase, like, have zero tolerance for the lie. It's just such a hard hitter. If you're, I think, an individual that wants to keep growing, wants to keep evolving, wants to keep moving your life forward, zero tolerance, cut that fucking shit out. Where are you bullshitting yourself? Where are you lying to your friends? Where are you lying to your family? Where are you letting also people get away with behavior that's less than ideal? Now, it's not about controlling, but it's about calling shit out and being willing to dive into the discomfort, discomfort that's going to be present when you disrupt the status quo, like in relationship in your life. I'll give an example here. I remember I was at a gathering once when I was hosting a gathering, and there were a lot of people here. There were family here as well. And someone came up to me and was like, oh, someone's daughter who was like 16 years old was like, she told me she saw people dealing cocaine. And I'm like, wait, what? That's not happening here. So I was like, I want to get to the bottom of this. So I found out who supposedly it was. And I just went up to them and, hey, man, this is what's going on. I was told that you're doing this. And he's like, no, that's not it. We shared some microdose psilocybin pills with each other. And so it's like, how often are we faced with something in our life where it's like, oh, fuck, do I want to confront this person? He's a friend of mine. He's someone I know. Do I want to just get to the bottom of it as opposed to like, it's just lingering. You're making up stories in your head. And it's like, let's just nip it in the bud. Yeah. And just let's get to it and let's get to the truth. And then because someone didn't see things properly, it wasn't really assessing the situation. Ideally, it's like you get to it and like, OK, cool. I mean, it's not ideal. Please don't do that. Of course, you know, especially when there are lots of different types of people around different ages. But I think the key is it's like getting to the truth, having these conversations, think about things in your life where you see something, you observe something, you know, whether it's in yourself, but especially within the context of your relationships. And you're like, oh, let me just let me just push it under the rug. Let me let me kick the can down the road. I'll have that conversation. I'll be more truthful at another point in my life. And it's just like now, again, there's discerning timing at play. Often I'm not just saying be someone who just blurts out the truth 24 seven. You know, I mean, you have to understand and navigate the dynamics of a relationship. And, you know, again, like I said before, the timing. But generally speaking, when you're honoring this commandment, you embody this. You know, I'm not going to stand for bullshit. I'm not going to stand for dishonesty. I'm OK with being able to hold capacity. Again, this is we bring the nervous system piece and hold capacity within myself, my body, my nervous system to have these kinds of conversations. And then for that, for these conversations to fuel more self-understanding, which we'll get into later when we get into other commandments. [Speaker 1] (7:44 - 9:40) Yeah, for sure. And, you know, this this is a commandment that definitely is pervasive throughout all the commandments that we're going to go through. And there are some crossover throughout them for necessary reason. And I think particularly if you're coming from a place where you do accept half-truths and you do often find yourself sharing half-truths, this is not necessarily an easy commandment to adopt. It is going to cause you to confront certain dragons, demons, shadows. And like Teresma has been saying, have difficult conversations and especially with thyself. Right? And I mean, particularly when, you know, in my personal experience, one of my major catalysts was in holding on to a lie that I thought was preserving a certain image I had for myself and kicking the can down the road way too long. And as a result, having to feel the enormous weights of coming back into alignment with the truth when I finally owned up to it. And that's something to keep in is that the unconscious part of your psyche ultimately is a record keeper. And the longer that you allow the tension of lies to linger on without being cleared, ultimately, the greater the blowback is going to be when you decide, okay, I'm ready to come into alignment, come clean and come into equilibrium. And this comes along with a deeper recognition, if I'm having a zero tolerance for the lie, that there is no choice in my decision-making process once I've fully embodied and adopted this commandment. So yeah, this is, you know. Pretty straightforward, I think. [Speaker 2] (9:40 - 10:02) Yeah, pretty straightforward. For the lie. It's in there. You know, let it land, let it kind of just like feed your spirit. And, you know, can you be honest with yourself? You know, where are you rationalizing and justifying behavior to push the can down the road? But, you know, we made that the first one because we think it's overarching and it relates to so much. [Speaker 1] (10:03 - 10:13) Definitely. Okay. Commandment number two. I shall understand that self-knowledge is the foundation of all knowledge. [Speaker 2] (10:14 - 10:24) Yeah, I think that's like an Aristotle saying or something like that. I'm not sure. Aristotle or one of those brilliant ancient Greeks. The ancient ones, yeah. [Speaker 1] (10:26 - 10:27) What did you say? [Speaker 2] (10:27 - 10:28) I missed that. [Speaker 1] (10:28 - 10:29) The ancient ones are brilliant. [Speaker 2] (10:29 - 12:43) Yeah, the ancient ones, yeah. These modern ones, you know, that wear hats and podcasts usually, like you don't listen to anything that comes out of their mouth. But, I mean, this one for me lands really deeply because I feel like it's something that has been so important to me in my whole life. The curiosity to really know yourself, to truly dive deep internally, to figure out, like, who are you? Like, why are you the way you are? Why do you value the things that you value? Why do you make the decisions that you make? Why do you relate the way you relate? Like, you know, there is this freaking, this universe again within yourself. And so, you know, do you understand that on a deep level? You know, do you understand where your strengths are? Do you understand your challenges? Do you understand where there's really opportunities to growth, to grow? And do you take time? You know, this is the thing that, like, is really interesting because you need time and space to really know yourself. And I think part of the way this kind of system has been set up, you know, from a social engineering standpoint is to continually, like, fill up your life and your schedule and your calendar and all these distractions at play. And then you throw inflation in there and you got to work extra, extra long hours. It's like, how do you create time in your life to reflect and to engage in a process of self-inquiry? Because without that, like, it's kind of tough. You're kind of just like being swept away with the current. And like, I got to speak from a personal experience. Like, I was very fortunate and blessed that, like, at multiple points in my life, like, I made a decision to go, okay, like, this thing, like, I need space. I need time. Like, okay, I saved up some money. Sure, I could go put it into a car or into a house. I was like, no, I'm taking the time. I want to be alone. I want to travel. I want a backpack. I want to read books and self-reflect because this thing, being a human being, what does it mean? And so I really think when you get to that point, you honor this commandment of, like, that self-knowledge is the foundation of all knowledge. It's like, knowing yourself, like, what else is there beyond that? Like, if that's not the foundation. [Speaker 1] (12:44 - 15:41) Yeah. I mean, how do you navigate if you are not engaging in a practice of self-reflection and self-awareness? And the reality is that the shape and the texture of all our psyches, all our consciousnesses are unique. So simply going out into the world and assuming that everyone has a one-size-fits-all consciousness or psyche or soul or spirit or way of being is a complete misnomer and is a recipe for you to end up living a sad, unhappy life within the confines of the herd and of the crowd. And every single decision that you make in your life that involves any other external entity, be it another person, be it whatever it might be, you are receiving data and feedback about yourself. And being able to take that data and take that feedback and integrate it into your self-knowledge, this is the game of life. And through adopting this commandment, you are only ever winning or you're learning. There is no failure if your mentality is to whatever happened, whatever the result is, I can only get better from here because I'm utilizing the information that I'm getting. And so you enter this constant upward spiral trajectory shift of being able to become masterful, of being able to navigate life with true captainship. It's hard for me to imagine life any other way. And I think it's also difficult to have this conversation without touching on the subject of different systems of knowledge, esoteric systems, such as astrology, such as human design, tarot, numerology, whatever it might be, the list can go on forever. And in my personal experience, exploring with these systems is an experiment. Because you go and you get a reading or you enter your birth information and you learn some information, you get some feedback about yourself. And rather than taking, in first instance, I guess this is the almighty truth, right? Okay. Let me use my reason to practice this in real life to really see what this means about myself. And in my personal experience, going through these systems and getting this feedback about myself has made my decision making process in my life so much better. It's led me towards a vocation. It's led me towards a life of purpose. It's led me towards healthier relationships because I understand that I might need a little bit more time and space to respond to a situation because of the nature of myself, which is different from the nature of other people, so on and so on. TITO Yeah. [Speaker 2] (15:41 - 16:53) Well said, man. I love that you brought up, obviously, human design and astrology, how I feel about that. I mean, these tools have absolutely transformed my life. But just from a general thing, as you were talking, it just made me think of the Carl Jung quote, the world will ask you who you are, and if you don't know, the world will tell you. Yeah. And so again, if you're not utilizing these systems, if you're not putting time and energy into really getting to know yourself and seeing where you've been conditioned by friends, by family, via culture, and go, wait, wait, those values, they're not my values. Those beliefs that have been pushed on me, they're not mine. I don't want to be an accountant. I don't want to be a doctor. I don't want to insert anything. You tune into your spirit and you're like, this is what's driving me. This is what excites me. This is what I'm interested in. I don't want to do that. And then again, then it takes a level of self-esteem to be able to go, I'm going to follow these innate desires and move closer towards stepping into that person that I believe myself to be. [Speaker 1] (16:54 - 18:38) And so... And I mean, even from a greater metaphysical perspective, why did you, if you believe this path of thinking, why did you choose to incarnate? Why did you choose to exist? Why did you choose to enter this experience? Becoming who you were born to be is something that we reference often on this podcast. And I'm not interested in becoming somebody else. I'm interested in becoming me. And there's this concept, which also comes from Aristotle called entelechy. And basically, it's this idea that within each and every single human being, there is a blueprint that wants to unfold. And you can think about the metaphor of an acorn and an oak tree. The blueprint of the oak tree is already present within the acorn. And it's about that acorn growing and flourishing and sprouting into that magnificent oak. And there's no difference for you. You have a unique blueprint that wants to be born. But are you setting conditions which limits the organic evolution of that blueprint? Or are you setting conditions that fosters and nurtures its growth? And this is where that first principle, that first commandment becomes really necessary in having zero tolerance for the lie. Okay, let's get on to commandment number three. We're blasting through these, obviously. With all these commandments, we go much deeper inside Rise Above the Herd, our 10-week program. And we're going to keep going with number three for this podcast. I shall recognize that without value for my life, no other values are possible. [Speaker 2] (18:40 - 19:35) Well, yeah, I mean, I think this piggybacks even to what I said before about knowing your value, but also realizing that you have intrinsic worth. You have inherent worth. You exist. It is a reality. And so how do you feel about that? Are you willing to stand for the things you believe in and the things that you value because you have worth? Do you respect yourself? How do you treat yourself? How do you treat your body? How do you treat your mind? You know? I think it's so interesting too that when you think about, someone brought this up once, when they talk about bad habits and drinking or taking drugs or whatever, would you tell a four-year-old to do the things that you're doing? So why are you doing it to yourself? Where is that lack of self-love and that self-worth coming from? Yeah. [Speaker 1] (19:36 - 22:14) And this is a commandment that definitely is heavily influenced by the work of Ayn Rand and by her philosophy, Objectivism, in which basically she posits that the number one value of every single organism, living organism is its own life. And without that as the number one value, how can any other values be possible? And she's obviously not wrong, right? The sun, the flower naturally faces the sun without second-guessing itself. Its roots naturally dig deeper into fertile soil. All these things happen automatically within other species, except for us human beings, we have volitional consciousness. So actually choosing, we're the only species that has the choice to value our lives. No other organism second-guesses this whatsoever. But we've been so heavily programmed with these anti-life ideologies, which come in many different forms, primarily under this umbrella of collectivism, which is something that we've often spoken about as well, which create little guilt traps within our own system, where we have this self-punishment when it comes to valuing one's own life, when it comes to acting rationally in one's self-interest, when it comes to, oh, wow, I actually have this natural intrinsic desire. But then there's this thing where it's like, well, pursuing that might be dangerous. It might put you in a position of unsafety within your family or within the crowd or within the friendship circle. Oh, that religious doctrine that I read told me that it's evil to consider myself and I need to be quote unquote humble at all times and having desires is the devil's work. Oh, that spiritual book that I read there told me that I should become nobody and I should become nothing and I should become meaningless. And that's the highest morality for my existence. Well, here you go. Here's another 50 lashes, right? But nature tells us otherwise. Nature tells us that in order for you to have any values, you have to value your existence. And that's why this is a commandment that belongs here at number three. When it comes to being a real AF, it requires a deep understanding and embodiment of this reality. [Speaker 2] (22:16 - 23:41) Well, nothing more to say after that. So we're going to move on to commandment four. I shall take full responsibility for my life for no one is coming to save me. I mean, again, I mean, I think that's pretty self-evident. Like, where are you deflecting personal responsibility? You know, where are you waiting for like mommy or daddy to come and fix everything for you? You know, are you continually in a victim's mindset? Now, this isn't to say that you can't be a victim or be victimized. I mean, that's a reality in life that happens. You know, but how long are you continuing to blame others and blame circumstances, you know, as opposed to going, hey, listen, some fucked up shit may have happened in my life, you know, but at the end of the day, this is my life. Again, going back to the previous commandment, I exist. I have inherent value. What am I doing to make changes in my life? And so I just think that's a big piece of the puzzle is to see where are you still in a victim mindset and where are you looking for other people to answer questions for you in life? Easy questions. I mean, how often do you see on social media or, you know, even in just your normal life, someone sends you a message or sends you a text and you're like, literally, if you just put that in a search engine, you would get all these answers. And it's like, no, answer it for me. Answer it for me. I don't, I don't have the time or the energy to go and figure something out for myself. [Speaker 1] (23:42 - 25:08) Yeah. I mean, you are the creator of your life. If you're listening to this podcast, you're most likely an adult. So cut out the excuses, cut out the blaming. The life that you're experiencing today is a result of the culmination of decisions that you have made. And your life in the future from this point is going to be a culmination of the decisions that you have made. And it's up to you what kind of decisions you want to make. Are you going to make decisions that align with your authenticity? Are you going to make rational decisions that lead to the support of your existence? Like we've mentioned previously, no one is responsible for you. No one is responsible for your happiness. No one is responsible for the achievements of your values, except for you. This mindset of hoping, waiting, wishing, it is great for children. It is not suitable for adults, simply put. So this really requires you to question deeply, and where is this fairy tale still presence in the way that I engage and interact with life and observe that and fix that. Yeah. [Speaker 2] (25:08 - 25:19) I mean, I think ultimately too, again, Manuel said like personal responsibility, taking full responsibility. And when you do that, I think you have a little bit more power to shift things in your life. [Speaker 3] (25:20 - 25:22) Yeah. That's what this speaks to. [Speaker 1] (25:22 - 25:59) And I mean, what did this message that we're trying to get across and this message that our students receive in our programs is that you are so much more powerful than you give yourself credit for. And so unlock that power by adopting these principles, by embodying these commandments, because you can determine your destiny. You can shape your future. With every single decision that you make, you are sending a ripple out into eternity about what kind of life that you want to live. And you're the one making those decisions. You're responsible. [Speaker 2] (25:59 - 27:06) And that's why this commandment And I want to add one thing too, because I think very often when we talk about things like that, like we're not saying that you can't have support, that you can't reach out to other people. But again, do you know this? Do you know this about yourself? There are times where maybe you do need support, that you need someone to be there for you, to listen to you, maybe like cry or weep. Like this isn't about like being this person who doesn't experience any emotions and is like, I got to figure this out on myself and be a lone wolf. But it's a general idea of like, where in your life are you relinquishing self-responsibility where you know you could be taking it, taking it on yourself, owning yourself, owning your inner world, being responsible for the reactions that you have as well. Because that's another big piece of the puzzle is there's people in our lives, like we can't control everyone, but like to some capacity, you know, you can choose how you respond to situations in your life. So, you know, be mindful of that as well. Like how are you responding to events in your life? [Speaker 1] (27:07 - 28:18) And if you are receiving support, if you are receiving handouts, I've received handouts, right? What is the nature of the energy around it? Do you feel entitled to it? Is it expected? If there's entitlements, if there's expectation, that's where things need to be checked. I'm not saying that we all need to be lone ships on an island, right? Community and support is important. But what is the nature of the energy in which it is being received and is appropriate value being returned? Commandment number five, these commandments keep building on each other. I shall not act out of guilt or obligation. And this is a commandment that, you know, speaks into some of the things that we've spoken about. Like it requires you to value yourself, right? It requires you to live authentically, to adopt this. Like you're not making decisions from a place of truth if you're acting out of guilt and obligation. You're not properly honoring and respecting yourself if you're acting out of guilt and obligation. [Speaker 2] (28:19 - 29:59) You know, I think many of us have heard of the phrase like, yeah, the people pleaser, you know, that part of us that gets its value by just taking care of everyone else's needs, being super attentive, doing things very often from a place of obligation and guilt. Now, again, we're not saying that there aren't some good qualities about being attentive and being mindful of others and being supportive. But are you giving from an empty cup or are you giving from a full cup? Do you value yourself? Like Joel said before, we've been saying, you know, where you can go, hey, listen, I have this overflow. Like I've been self-nurturing, I've been self-caring, I've been taking care of myself, you know, and cool. I can act or give from a healthier place. Because usually what happens is when we're doing, when we're giving from a place of guilt, if we're acting from guilt, acting from obligation, what does it usually lead to? I mean, think about your relationships. Think about the resentment that comes up because, no, I do all this for everybody. I mean, think about, I've done that before. I think of my past and I know probably parents do that. It's like everything I do for you and this is how you treat me. It's like, it's like because you're just like robbing yourself or you're giving from an empty cup and you're doing all this thing, all these things for everyone else. It's like you expect something automatically in return. It's like, well, no, honor yourself, take care of yourself. You don't owe anything to me. But a lot of people feel that way and they get into these like icky relationship dynamics and these codependent behaviors where this behavior is just happening back and forth, back and forth. And then that's what's considered love. [Speaker 1] (30:00 - 32:06) Yeah. It's incredibly toxic and it's super normalized and it is heavily influenced again by deeper cultural and societal programming such as religion and such as New Age spirituality and other doctrines and dogmas that are out there and exist. And the reality is, is that real love, care, and generosity, they don't come from a place of sacrifice. Okay, they come from a place of wholeness, which we'll talk about in a little bit. But we've all been conditioned to believe that this word sacrifice is somehow connected to this other word morality. When they are not, they simply cannot co-exist by any means whatsoever. Real love, real care is a selfish act. It is not a sacrificial act. I don't go out and support my family, my wife, my kids, um, travel, put a roof over our heads, go to nice meals. I don't go and have awesome friends, right? Because it's a sacrificial act. I do these things because it's in my genuine self-interest, right? I love and I care for my family. And it's not me cutting out pieces of myself and giving it to them. It's me filling my own cup by giving to them. It's what I want to do. It's a desire of mine. And we create these toxic ties and burdens when we operate our relationships under this program of sacrifice. And out of this program of the more that I diminish myself for you, the more I'm going to receive from the diminishment of you. Yeah. And yeah, that's, we've all experienced this. [Speaker 2] (32:07 - 32:52) Yeah. And again, like, you know, I used to be a huge people pleaser, you know, where it was like, I totally was like, I went out of my way to do things for other people, even though, you know, I didn't want to, you know, because I want, I didn't want to disappoint other people. And this is a big thing I say often is that, you know, and sometimes you have to be willing to disappoint people. Again, this relates to, you know, the first commandment of like setting a boundary, saying no, like choosing yourself, you know, not doing the things that other people want you to do. And then having to navigate that and deal with that, you know, like, can you say no without guilt when something isn't in alignment with who you are, you know, are the relationships in your life nourishing, you know, do they empower you or do they drain you? Yeah. [Speaker 3] (32:52 - 33:08) And the questions you have to ask yourself. The reality is, is that if you start living by these commandments, none of them are really going to be well received by most people because most people are living a lie. And that's what keeps the herd in place, right? [Speaker 1] (33:08 - 33:32) The moment I start being realer, being more authentic, living with more truth, I rattle the cage of the status quo. And this is why most people don't walk a path of authenticity and truth. Because the masses, for whatever reason, whether it's programming, conditioning, whether it's just human nature, they have adopted untruth as a primary principle in their lives. [Speaker 2] (33:33 - 34:09) And I mean, think about it in a family, you know, when someone goes against the status quo of the family, you know, very often they're looked down upon. Oh, they didn't take over the family business. Oh, they left to go away to college. Oh, whatever. Like they're creating their own path. Very often it's like, well, the underlying subtext sometimes is like, well, who the fuck do you think you are? Exactly. And rise above the status quo of this family and maybe look down upon our values and the way we live life. Now, again, I'm not saying this always happens, but we see that. [Speaker 3] (34:09 - 34:12) I mean, the black sheep. It comes with emotional manipulation. [Speaker 1] (34:12 - 34:28) It comes with emotional gaslighting and sometimes physical force that comes with. But maintaining lies is a dependence on that. The truth doesn't need it. It's not necessary, right? When it comes to adopting the truth. [Speaker 2] (34:28 - 35:04) There are so there's, I mean, there are a lot of people in my life when I think about, you know, my past and conversations that I had, you know, 17 years old, 18 year old, 18 years old, 19 years old, where like parents bribed their kids. First of all, they're saying, no, you're not going away to school. This is where you're school, you know, and like bribe their kids with money or a new car or something to like honor their wishes. So again, it's like you're making a decision from a place of obligation. Yeah. You know, I don't really want to do this, but because X, Y, Z, this is why I'm doing it. [Speaker 1] (35:05 - 36:05) And I mean, there's a whole deeper psychological aspect to this. We all have a super ego. We all have the voices of mom and dad in our heads. And this is, again, something that we have to grapple with. And again, something that we go deeper into for our Rise Above The Hood cohorts. Okay. Amendment number six, I shall take up necessary space. And again, you know, this stuff interlaps, but this is unique on its own. This is about owning your right to fully exist as you are, to be seen, to be heard, to have your presence felt, to be worthy of leaving a mark, of pursuing your values, your interests, your desires, of embracing one's existence, of feeling worthy to appropriately express one's thoughts and feelings without the fear of judgment, refusing to shrink, refusing to shrink. [Speaker 2] (36:05 - 36:33) When you said it all, you know, can you just, can you kind of breathe into yourself? Can you feel yourself getting bigger and bigger and bigger? You know, where are the ways you shy from that? You know, when don't you speak your mind? You know, when don't you express yourself? Like, where are you not self-assertive in your life? Where are you not owning yourself and owning your life and standing up for yourself and saying, no, you will not speak to me this way? Yeah. You know, no, you will not treat me this way. [Speaker 1] (36:35 - 36:52) You know? Yeah, exactly. And be specific about with who, under what circumstances, because that's, they are major insights for you as well. This ties in directly to one of the pillars of self-restraint, self-assertiveness, right? [Speaker 2] (36:53 - 37:22) Yeah. This is, I feel like this commandment is really important for people that, you know, have been traumatized, conditioned to play small, you know, were scolded very often for just even like sharing their thoughts and opinions as a kid, you know, that were overly controlled, you know, and their voice, their kind of voice has been locked up. And very often, even you just look at their posture too, they might have like their shoulders sunken in and their chest collapsed a little bit. [Speaker 1] (37:22 - 37:23) Their breath is shallow. [Speaker 2] (37:23 - 37:52) You know, and it's like, again, it's like, even just from that physical understanding, like what happens when you're able to, you know, through work that's necessary, postural work, other types of healing work to expand, open up your heart again, take more space in. I mean, just look at that visually less space, more space, you know? So again, you know, if you're going through your own personal development process, like, you know, be mindful and see, you know, where are the areas of your life?