Joel & Yerasimos The Joy of Being Who You Are

[Speaker 2] (0:00 - 0:35) Rise Above The Herd, round eight, our eight-week transformational group coaching program for Truthseekers. We've now had 80 plus students move through this program and had incredible life trajectory shifts in all arenas of their life, from relationships, to career, to purpose, to simply how they feel about the human being that they are. If you're down for this journey, round eight, course starts January 8th. You can now join at riseabovetheherd.co or using the link in the show notes. [Speaker 3] (0:36 - 0:43) You are now listening to the Year for the Truth podcast, hosted by Joel Rafiti and Yerasimos. [Speaker 2] (0:46 - 1:48) Persons of high self-esteem are not driven to make themselves superior to others. They do not seek to prove their value by measuring themselves against a comparative standard. Their joy is being who they are and not in being better than someone else. Well said. Is that by the great Nathaniel Brandon? That is by Nathaniel Brandon. Imagine if we had a mass populace who truly experienced the joy simply in being who they were, simply in walking their own personal path, simply in letting their life be an exercise of excavating deep purpose and deep meaning purely through the mirror of their own acceptance, their own admiration, their own pride in who they are. [Speaker 1] (1:50 - 2:47) I mean, that's what it comes down to at the end of the day. I mean, a lot of people are trying to prove their worth by how they act and how they behave. And there's huge compare and contrast that goes on in the world. Social media, it's a big piece of it. But even from a human design standpoint, I mean, we talk about that. Some of our listeners might be aware of human design, but the Open Heart Center, large percentage of the population has it undefined. So, they're operating under the conditioning influence of needing to prove their worth. At the end of the day, it's like, I mean, we beat the horse dead. You are one of one. I am one of one. Everyone listening to this is one of one. You're unique. There's no one like you. And so, how can you put the focus on that and highlighting that and realizing who you are and realizing what you're excited by, where your natural talents lie, what you need to cultivate to continue to towards your goals? What is your thing? And give that thing in the world. [Speaker 2] (2:47 - 3:00) Yeah. So, okay. Say someone checks their human design chart and they're like, oh God, I've got an open ego, an undefined ego. And it says one of the not self themes is, am I trying to prove my worth? What does someone then do with that? [Speaker 1] (3:01 - 3:52) I think what they do with it is they have more self-awareness to go, where is this behavior, this thing I'm saying coming from? Is it coming from this place like, oh, I need someone to pat me on the back. I need someone to mirror back to me that I'm worthy, that I have value in the world, you know? Whether is it, are we extra competitive, you know? We had this conversation earlier, like we're both super, super competitive. And from a human design standpoint, the open heart center or the open ego or the will center that people say, like we're not meant to be like competitive all the time, you know? But again, part of that competition is, it doesn't mean you don't do your best. It's like, where is it coming from? What's the motivation? Where is it, oh, I have to win or so I have value so people know that I have value, you know what I mean? [Speaker 2] (3:53 - 4:33) Yeah, totally. And like, for me, like growing up, like I was placed in schools at an age that was two years younger than everyone else, which also meant that like, I was the shortest person, you know, throughout my entire 12 year schooling journey. And for me, a lot of it was like, I had to beat myself up in other ways. I had to prove my worth in other arenas. I had to, you know, let people feel my energy on some level, not to mess with me. And also just to be recognized, you know, oh yeah, he might be the smallest, he might be the youngest, but you know, there's still something there. And that's kind of set the tone for me when it comes to like, am I trying to prove my worth? That's been a theme, it's been a struggle. [Speaker 1] (4:35 - 5:54) Dude, same with me. I mean, I'm not the tallest person in the world. Even though some people like thought I was, like I got some messages on Instagram, I thought you'd be much taller. Like you look like a tiny person next to Alex Zick. But same here, man. Like I've had a little bit of, as you would call growing up, like people would say like a little Napoleon complex, like having to like prove my worth because like I was shorter or littler, you know, in that regards. And you know, a lot of this stuff helps what's the word I'm thinking of, like shape like who you are. But again, like this is some conditioning that's happening on that regards. And you know, it's fuel and it's food for thought as you get older, as you get on this more self-awareness, personal development journey to realize, okay, like am I okay with being me? Like am I okay with just doing the things that I do and not needing the like external validation? And it doesn't mean like oh, we're human beings. We want to be recognized. We want to be acknowledged for what we do. But is it like this driving need that impacts how we act and what we say? There's a quality, there's an essence to it. You know, there's a differentiation between operating from like a grounded comfortable place and confident in what we do and how we're received versus needing it. [Speaker 2] (5:55 - 6:26) Well, it's an empty cup that'll never be filled if that's the pursuit, if that's the goal. Like when is enough enough if that's the goal, you know, to prove my worth? When is that endeavor finished? How can it ever be finished? Even if you're like a super high achiever, you know, millionaire in an online creator economy, right? Like if the motivation, I'm the one who motivates motivation is, have I proved my worth? Like that's an impossible goal. [Speaker 1] (6:27 - 7:15) Yeah, man. I totally agree where you're coming from there. And it's just, this is what self-awareness and this journey is about. It's like, do you have the curiosity to continue to be interested in why you do the things that you do, you know? And where do they come from? And to truly know yourself to go like, you know, I'm being me, like people may not be into it and that's okay. You know, my parents might judge me, my friends might judge me, but I have to follow that thread of what I know deep inside to be true. And you know, there's bumps along the way, there's obstacles along the way, but that's just part of the process of like becoming who you were born to be, which all I say this all the time, who are you born to be? Become who you were born to be and that's a process of becoming. [Speaker 2] (7:16 - 8:21) And I know for me, you know, that axiom of self-worth kind of shifted when, you know, I kind of realized that there's certain gifts and certain traits and certain qualities that really no one else can give me that are unique to me and only I can materialize. And for me, like I found like great comfort, great spiritual wealth in that recognition that, you know, there's things that I alone can offer and can give and can create and just, you know, now having a single thread of how far can I take this, you know? Just all the creators, all the artists out there know like the joy of creation, like that's a one of one endeavor. If you're writing a song, if you're, you know, painting a piece of art or, you know, crafting or whatever it might be, like the joy that comes from that is self-reciprocal, you know, that's in and by itself. [Speaker 1] (8:22 - 8:57) Yeah. But even like, you know, when it comes to personal expression, again, no one's like you, your voice, your mannerisms, your insights, your intuition. So, you can be doing a similar thing, like and talking about a similar thing. But what causes someone to be into what you're doing maybe, you know, versus another person, like it's just resonance. And so, the more that you are you, uniquely you and coming from a truthful place, like that resonates that people are going to be into that and maybe they won't, some people might not. [Speaker 2] (8:58 - 9:35) Yeah. And the thing is like, I think, you know, most people who I guess are dealing with low self-esteem, like there's a fear of being seen in that way. There's also a fear that there's no place for me, everything's being done, everything that can be created has been created, everything that can be said has been said, every podcast there can be a topic on there, one exists. But it's such a fallacy of imposter syndrome. And it's so stifling for an individual as well, you know, to be in that place. [Speaker 1] (9:37 - 10:40) Well, yeah. And also like, there are other podcasts that explore truth, that explore, explore, you know, things that are happening in the world that explore personal development. But not only do I have my unique expression and you have your unique expression, but then how we are together is something completely unique, which is the feedback that we've gotten too. So, it's like, I don't care that there's other podcasts, I don't care that there are people out there that know, quote unquote, know more than me on maybe certain subjects. Because the reality is like, there's always going to be someone that knows more, and there are always going to be people that know less. And so, it's about understanding yourself and going, okay, I have these gifts. And who do I give them to? Or who's going to be drawn to my gifts? Like, again, no one can do what I do. No one could do what you do, Joel. No one could do what the people that are listening, what you do. It's just a matter about figuring that out and having the self-esteem and having the confidence to go, hey, I'm throwing my fucking hat in the ring. [Speaker 2] (10:40 - 10:40) Yeah. [Speaker 1] (10:41 - 10:42) Let's see what happens. [Speaker 2] (10:42 - 12:02) Yeah. And it's like, to what extent is scarcity directing my life? And I don't just mean financial scarcity, but the scarcity of self-worth, scarcity of self-esteem, scarcity of self-trust, scarcity that there's no room, there's no space, there's no place. These are things we really need to be conscious of, because I think when we really change our relationship with life, with reality, there's actually a lot more abundance available to us on so many different layers than we realize when we're stuck in this burden, this cycle that has been so culturally conditioned onto us. Because ultimately, our culture has been engineered to strip you and to deplete you of your resources. And I don't just mean material, I mean energetically as well. And even beyond energetically, the resources that comes from recognizing that I am a competent, capable, powerful creator B, there's an infinitesimal aspect to that, where even if there was no material resources, that wealth alone can propel an individual into any kind of life that they really could possibly envision for themselves. [Speaker 1] (12:03 - 13:03) Well said. Again, language, words, vision. How many thoughts do you think a day? Where are those thoughts directed at? How are you speaking to yourself? How are you speaking about the world? How are you speaking about what you want in the world? Do you believe it's capable or do you not? And very often, life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. How you talk about yourself and how you talk about the things in the world will come true if you are speaking about it in a certain way. Now again, it's not just like you have to take action as well. We're not just sitting here and kind of trying to throw you some bones from the secret. It's not magical. It's not magical, fairy tale, fantasy behavior. It's being clear, concise, embodying what you think and feel, having congruence in yourself, and then taking that into the world through conscious action. [Speaker 2] (13:04 - 13:51) Yeah. Well, I mean that really brings to mind another great quote from Nathaniel who says, for the optimal realization of our possibilities, we need to trust ourselves and we need to admire ourselves. And the trust and admiration need to be grounded in reality, not generated out of fantasy and self-delusion. So there's a pseudo-self-esteem, which many people can come into as well or can delude themselves that it actually is authentic self-esteem. Some would call this, I guess, hubris to some extent. But true authentic self-esteem is grounded in reality. And it's grounded in the direct feedback that we're getting from our personal actions in and of the world. [Speaker 1] (13:52 - 15:04) And a lot of this pseudo-self-esteem comes from even what we started this conversation on, is this like need for approval. So you can go out there and be successful in some ways in the world, but it's coming from this place of like, well, other people think I'm good and I'm doing all this stuff to get validation. But how do you really feel about yourself and who you are? You know? So like self-esteem doesn't always just equal success or the lack thereof equals no success. There are people who are successful and who have a lot of money who have low self-esteem. So that's another thing to delineate in that regards. So, you know, and then again, a lot of times these are people who like achieve all the things that you think you're supposed to achieve and get the pats on the back. And then when they look in the mirror, they feel empty, you know? Or they're doing the things coming from a place of severe self-criticism, self-judgment. It's like they constantly have like, it's like they're the horse and someone is just whacking them with the leash or whatever to keep going, going, going, going, you know? And like, sure, it might drive you to success, but you know, is it sustainable? Is it fulfilling ultimately at the end of the day? [Speaker 2] (15:04 - 15:36) Yeah, that's right. And like, who are you when you're not working? What's your life like when you're not working? What's the state of your nervous system? What are your behaviors? What are your actions? Do you have capacity to be by yourself alone with your thoughts, sit, breathe, regulate, you know? Or is there a necessity to constantly be in a sympathetic, wired state of being in order to maintain this normalization, which you've curated for yourself? [Speaker 1] (15:37 - 16:01) Yeah. And is your identity based only on doing, you know, doing and how people view you? And like, this brings up even, you know, we talk about parts where, you know, like there are many different aspects to us. So, you know, what parts are running your life? And do you have access to these other parts of you? And, you know, this is the journey of self-knowing. [Speaker 2] (16:02 - 16:28) Is there fluidity in the movement between parts as opposed to, holy crap, you know, something else has interjected, you know, and my behaviors no longer align with what I thought I was. And, you know, and often this is what projection is. This is the moments that we get highly triggered and we become highly emotional, you know, parts come in and parts take over. And it's almost like, who is this person, right? Bodily form changes, like literally. [Speaker 1] (16:28 - 17:59) Voice changes, bodily form, thoughts, intentions change. Yeah. You know, and is there consciousness around it? Like, again, it's going to happen. You're not sitting there moment to moment going, no, I like this part to come in, you know? But when you have the experience, do you have awareness of like, oh, wow, that was a part of me, you know? And do you create more space? Do you have the ability to stand in the tension of opposites between two opposing parts? You know, when someone comes at you and challenges you, like, do you immediately go into attack and judgment and defense? Or can you kind of tune in and have more space to expand and kind of feel into, you know, different aspects of yourself, you know, before engaging very often, before deciding, before acting? You know, and this is where like nervous system capacity comes into play too. Like, when you're triggered, like, how do you behave? This is where the great Viktor Frankl quote comes in that we've talked about all the time, you know, between stimulus and response, there is a space. And within that space is our ability to choose. And within that ability to choose lies our freedom. And so, do you really have the ability to choose? And now we get into free will, which is a whole another, like, is there free will? You hear people say, no, there isn't. Yes, there is. But if you're living from this conditioned place, if you don't have access and the capacity to stand between a pair of opposites within you, you know, and then make a choice from a different place, like, you're just running on like auto programming. And so, maybe you don't have free will then. And it's an interesting thing to discuss. [Speaker 2] (18:00 - 18:29) I think the argument can definitely be made that, you know, how much free will we have access to is definitely correlated to how much self-ownership we have, how much psychological self-work we've done, how much nervous system regulation, you know, how many parts we've integrated. Like, I think free will is definitely a spectrum across the broad. I don't think everyone has the same amount of free will available to them. [Speaker 1] (18:30 - 19:06) Yeah. And even, you know, we talk about like a lot of bit more esoteric modalities, even like human design. Like, let's say human design has truth. Let's say there's things there, which I think it does, but everyone's free to make their own judgment on that. So, it's like, how long have you been in your experiment? How much time have you spent deconditioning from ways that ultimately don't serve who you were born to be? How long have you been operating with strategy and authority? You know, if you're coming from the not self place, are you operating from a place of free will? But if you are, if you are honoring your authority, you know, are you more so operating from a place of free will? And again, these are interesting questions. [Speaker 2] (19:06 - 19:12) Yeah. I mean, again, when you consider that from a human design standpoint, nearly 50% of the population are emotional. [Speaker 1] (19:14 - 19:38) Yeah. So, even right then, like, well, first of all, we've said this before or I've said this before, like, no person is meant to be making an emotionally reactive decision in the moment. Yep. And look around you. It's all people are doing. So, is that free will? You know? Yeah. Or are people living in trauma response all the time? Yeah. And mind you, okay, I do it too. [Speaker 2] (19:39 - 20:03) I'm not perfect. And are we, you know, are we mistaking our emotional charge for intuition or for knowing or for like, I know my body is telling me, the universe is telling me? Or are you just highly triggered on either the high or the low of a wave? Do you know the difference between when your intuition is speaking to you or when your emotions are hinting something to you? [Speaker 1] (20:04 - 21:37) Yeah. And for even the other half of the population that maybe operates differently, like, do you have the awareness that you're taking energy and amplifying it? So, is that your truth? Or do you have the knowledge and the awareness to go, you know, I need to kind of step away from these people or step away from a computer and maybe go for a walk and tune into my own energy and be like, okay, what really seems right for me? You know, again, this could be based on your own authority. So, again, this is like where we get into nuance. It's not so black and white. And people want to just like highlight that. Like, free will, yes. Free will, no. You know, emotionally reactions, yes. Not emotionally reacting, no. Like, there's more to it. And this is where, again, we go back to you are one of one. Okay? Joel's way of living in the world is going to be different than mine. And so, why are you comparing and contrasting? Our efforts should be on, man, like, this miracle that I am existing now as an I am. I am. You're awesomest. You know? Like, what is that? What does that even mean? You know? And can I really tune into that and be so curious? Like, what are my gifts? What are my challenges? Where are the road bumps on my path? You know? And like, I don't care. I don't care what, you know, Joe Schmo from, you know, down the road or from high school does. Like, I'm doing my thing. And I'm going to learn from it. Like, I'm going to bump into things. I'm going to make mistakes. I'm going to continue to flesh out this life that is mine. Yeah. [Speaker 2] (21:37 - 22:06) And like, I mean, this is like the great work, you know? Like, pop personal self-development, you know, would have you believe that you can read a book or do a course or learn some tools. And like, you know, there's an end goal to it. Like, it's such a misconception. It's such a fallacy. Like, you refining the human being that you are is a never-ending process. [Speaker 1] (22:09 - 22:44) Yeah, it is. It doesn't end. You don't just get to a place. Now I'm conscious. Now I'm awake. I'm awake. The fuck are you talking about? You know? Like, talk to me in 10 years. Like, are you having the experiences now that you're going to have in 10 years? You know? Like, this is a never-ending opportunity for personal insight and personal expansion. And we all have shadows, you know, that highlight parts of us that we ignore, parts of us that we need to develop. And so, like, what would that even mean? Like, Joel, what is a fully awake person? [Speaker 2] (22:45 - 23:04) Well, I mean, immediately what comes to mind is like, but I'm constantly having new experiences, but I'm constantly navigating new phases and stages of life. I'm meeting new terrain, which I've never seen before. How can I be awake? It's something I haven't had to grapple with previously. Yeah. I can't be. [Speaker 1] (23:05 - 23:50) Yeah, but yeah, and that's one thing. But even to the point of like, what you have all the knowledge that exists in all the world that has ever existed beforehand. And so now you can sit here definitively and say, I am awake now. Like, it's just, I don't know. It's an absolute term that I think people need to start like moving away from, in my opinion, because we're on an awakening process. We're on an awakening journey. Okay. I brought this up before, man. What, like, you have never experienced dying. Like, you've never experienced being 90 something years old, you know, like my dad's 93 years old, you know, he's dealing with some health issues, emergency stuff that just went on a couple of days ago. Like, he's never had to deal with that in that sense. So, you know, he's facing a new phase of his life. [Speaker 2] (23:51 - 24:53) Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, I think one of the aversions that, you know, again, it comes back to that need for instant gratification, you know, that need to reassure ourselves that, you know, something's working or that we're becoming more conscious of some level. And this is the whole guru trap as well. Like the whole projection or the magical idea that there's someone, you know, that's awake and has all the answers. And this is a lot of what the Eastern mystical draw is as well, you know, because we're sold this idea that there's human beings in like the Ganges or India that are enlightened and are connected to God. And they know the answer of how to respond to navigate every single situation that life and reality can experience. And, you know, that really pulls us outside our own process. It pulls us away from the authentic path. And again, so, you know, it harkens back to that opening quote of this whole comparison idea. Like this journey is yours and yours alone. [Speaker 1] (24:54 - 25:57) Yeah. Yeah. Back to what you said too about like people looking for the external savior to tell them what to do and how to live that life. That's even a theme in people's search for partnership. You know, like once I find this person, now I'll be complete. Now I'll be happy. And like we've been fed so much fantasy from Hollywood, from movies, where it's like this is not the case. Like you need to be a grounded, healthy, self-sufficient, a person of self-esteem first and foremost, you know, if you want to attract the person that you want to attract. Now again, people obviously get into relationships where they're not like at some place where they're, you know, aligned fully. You know, you're growing. It's a process. It's not going to happen. But if you think another person is going to be the reason for your happiness or not, like you're mistaken. And that's a sobering view of reality. You have to be a person in your own right. [Speaker 2] (25:58 - 27:11) Yeah. I mean, a relationship, you know, ultimately like it's with you for like a part of your journey. But what's with you forever ultimately is your aloneness, is your individualness. So like giving up the responsibility of filling one's own cup and directing that for someone else to do for us, ultimately is never going to serve you. And there's this quote from James Hollis in his book, The Eden Project, where he says, more people look for salvation through relationship than in houses of worship. One may even suggest that romantic love has replaced institutional religion as the greatest motive power and influence in our lives. The search for love has replaced the search for God. Yeah, man. And again, it's just that mythical, magical, fantastical projection, which ultimately at the root of it is an aversion to the reality that we have work to do for ourselves. [Speaker 1] (27:12 - 28:56) Yeah, we project onto our partners all the time that they need to fulfill all our needs, fulfill everything. And then when that doesn't happen, that's when the drama happens. But relationships are so important for personal development because we attract, especially when we have these really, really, really strong reactions and connections to people. And some could even say the falling in love process is that on some level as an individual, you're seeking wholeness. You want to be more whole. And God, the universe, reality, whatever you want to say, brings you people to highlight aspects that you need to integrate within yourself. You're unconscious. Yeah. Because we usually, the whole statement, opposites attract. It's true. Opposites attract. And the falling in love process very often is just like this unconscious projection coming from each person and they're filling that void within yourself. And in the beginning, you get drawn into that. You think it's amazing. You think it's cute and deep. And then what happens over time is that then those parts of them might become more annoying. And then you realize, shit, in that is the medicine. In my judgments are the medicine of maybe what do I need to do to look at myself? And if maybe I integrate a homeopathic dose of this thing that I'm judging, perhaps it could help me become more whole. It could help me become more integrated. It could bring me more grounded and standing on two feet within myself as opposed to needing another person to fill something, to fill some void. So, yeah, I think there needs to just be overall a more sobering view of relationship. There is work involved. [Speaker 2] (28:57 - 30:02) Relationship, sobering view of reality. The filters that we are so quick to put on in order to avoid the inherent ugliness that exists. And it's not even really ugly, but we just call it ugly because we've projected that things, generally speaking, are more shinier and more pain-free than what they actually are. But it's in that imperfection. It's in that inherent friction that exists in nature, in all things like you have, the yin and the yang, the black and the white. But that's where growth happens. That's where evolution happens. If everything was one dimensional, if everything was just a perfect state of serenity or bliss, and there was no pain, there was no shadow to grapple with, what a boring fucking existence that would be. No evolution, no growth, no self-reflection. None of that juice would be possible if it wasn't for the dirt, bro. If it wasn't for the flaws. [Speaker 1] (30:04 - 30:43) Yeah. And this is where relationship comes into play too, because nothing's going to highlight and mirror back to you, your shit. And so how do you keep an open heart at times? How do you self-reflect and be curious about, man, what a- because it's easy to blame. It's easy. It feels good to be self-righteous. But to be able to look at yourself, to be able to be curious like why you do the things you do, why you behave the way you behave in partnership, in relationship, and to see where you can shine some light in those cracks and expand your consciousness is part of the great work, you know? There's growth that will happen in relationship that just cannot happen by yourself. [Speaker 2] (30:44 - 32:19) Oh, bro, like, imagine the- well, what- like, there's a limit to the work that can be done in an echo chamber, you know? Like, there has to be a friction or a contrasting experience of the other. I think, you know, Hegel tapped on this deeply in his eye vow. We need that mirror. And I mean, we can't really exist without it in reality. The journey continues, my friend. The journey continues. The journey does continue, bro. That's for sure, man. Like, it's been a- it's been a very intense, you know, past month. It's last Scorpio season in my, you know, in my experience definitely lived up to its name. Lots of deep transformational opportunities, you know? And it really, you know, these different archetypes that come in seasonally, like, they'd really interplay, you know, with human design as well and with our emotional waves and with the experience of, you know, oh, one day feeling really joyous, upbeat, concerned, cool, you know, communicative, like, you know, interpersonal. And then the next day just being smacked, you know, and almost feeling like a completely different person, stagnant, heavy, you know, unsure of my meaning in life, unsure of what I want to do, unsure of so much. Yeah. [Speaker 1] (32:19 - 32:21) And can you be okay with that? [Speaker 2] (32:21 - 32:24) Yeah. And can you realize that's normal? Yeah. [Speaker 1] (32:24 - 33:05) And like, that's normal. Like, nothing is like inherently, like, wrong with you. You don't need to go up and go and blow up your entire life because you experience a few days of feeling a little bit more blue or down or not motivated or not inspired. There are different seasons in life, you know, as an individual. And again, we're playing on with the different seasons that are going on all around us, you know, and the astrological, you know, transits and all this different stuff that we're constantly interacting and navigating and dancing. So, can you have self-compassion? That's the most important form of compassion, in my opinion, first. Can you have compassion for yourself? That's key, man. [Speaker 2] (33:06 - 34:09) That's key is like, you know, not to fall into a game of, you know, constantly armoring against ourselves and against the world and just as often as possible, you know, softening to oneself, softening to that soul, that spirit, that human being that you are, just being a little bit more gentle in any- it's 5%. If I can be 5% more gentle with myself today, if I could show 5% more compassion to myself today, like, what a different experience I might have if I can bring that level of awareness to how I relate to myself, to this sacred being that I am. Yeah, man. And we're so wired, we're so stuck in, you know, this sympathetic relationship with culture that very often most of us don't have that window, that opportunity to take the exhale, to check in with oneself, you know, to have that two, three minutes in the mirror. Now, I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you. Thanks for being here. We're doing all right. We're doing okay. [Speaker 1] (34:11 - 35:36) I think there's this underlying vulnerability of, like, not having control in some ways and not knowing and being uncertain that people need to build a conscious relationship with. You don't always need to know. You don't always have to have the answer in the moment. You don't always have to choose a side or pick a team immediately, you know? Like, it's okay to be confused. It's okay to not have the answer, you know? And can you sit with that? Again, this is what wholeness, this is what building capacity within yourself means. Are you a friend to yourself? Are you a friend to the different parts of you? Like the guesthouse poem that I love by Rumi, you know? Can you build this relationship? Can you welcome these different parts within you because they have something to offer you? They have wisdom, they have knowledge, they have insight, you know? It's not about like throwing half of you away just so you can live out of the parts of you that you want to project into the world and so people can have this image of you, you know? Like, I don't have it all figured out, obviously, you know? And I'm okay. I'm okay with that. And I'm okay with like, you know, admitting that and being vulnerable in front of people. Like, sure, I know some stuff and there's a lot of shit I don't know. [Speaker 2] (35:36 - 35:44) But I mean, how can you not be okay with it? Like, anything else is a delusion, right? Anything else is, you know? [Speaker 1] (35:45 - 35:56) Because vulnerability is scary for so many people. They need control. They need- because control, a lot of times, gives this false illusion of security, of safety. [Speaker 2] (35:56 - 35:56) Yeah. [Speaker 1] (35:57 - 36:22) Whereas uncertainty and not knowing brings up so much. And for a lot of people, it's understandable based on their trauma history, based on what they went through, based on the family they grew up in. So, you know, like the great work, what is it? Yeah. You know, becoming more and more a friend to yourself, uncovering more and more of you, you know? Making the unconscious conscious, like the great Carl Jung quote. [Speaker 2] (36:22 - 36:30) Yeah. Bringing more alignment and congruence between your inner and outer worlds, between your inner and outer realities, you know? [Speaker 1] (36:31 - 36:33) Understanding that your life is a gift. [Speaker 2] (36:34 - 36:34) Yeah. [Speaker 1] (36:34 - 37:51) And that you alone can walk the path. Sure, you'll meet people along the way, but ultimately, you have to walk the path. You have to take the reins. You have to reclaim your power. You have to take radical responsibility for your life and do the things that you need to do and face the challenges that you're going to face and overcome them so you can build more resilience, so you can build more self-esteem, so you can be more grounded and more confident. Yeah. Well said, Brian. Yeah, man. And everything I say is like advice that I continue to take, you know? I fall short sometimes, but it's having the awareness. The awareness to go, oh, where am I at? Like self-acceptance is so important. Self-acceptance is the foundation before you move towards going, okay, well, how am I going to change to something if I don't even know where I'm at right now? If I don't even know what I'm feeling, if I don't know where I stand, again, consciousness, having more self-awareness for all of it lays the foundation for, okay, what's next? Where am I going to go? What do I need to do? What's the book I need to pick up? What's the class I need to take? What's the meditation I have to do? What's the self-reflection I have to put time and energy into? [Speaker 2] (37:52 - 38:31) Yeah. Who's the person I need to reach out to? What's the conversation I need to have? What's the network I need to build? If I don't know the answers, who might know the answers? Yeah. Oh, love this dialogue, bro. It's such a... So many ways, so many angles and so many facets of this spectrum of developing the self, which ultimately is what self-development is, the development of self, of your being, of your character. And yeah. [Speaker 1] (38:31 - 39:31) Yeah. And I just think, ultimately, the best way you're going to change the world, first and foremost, is by changing yourself. Again, it doesn't mean you shine a blind eye 100%. You stick your head in the sand. But what can you really control right now in this moment? Where are you overcompensating? Overcompensating for this lack of self-knowledge or this inner shame or this lack of control or the fact that things aren't going the way you want them to go in life. A lot of times, people get lost in the external world because the eternal world, the internal world, is too much. It's too confusing. There's too much uncertainty. There's too much not knowing. But it's up to each individual to determine what that balance is and what they need to do. But I see it too much in the world, man. Yeah. So, good chat, bro. [Speaker 2] (39:31 - 39:32) Yeah. [Speaker 1] (39:32 - 40:01) Came back to some of the OG side chats, just the two of us. And to everyone listening, you know, we appreciate you. You know, continue asking yourself the questions. Stay curious. Stay open. Keep an active mind. Grapple with the great ideas that are out there. And it's okay to not know. And it's okay to be confused. It's okay to not have an answer and to be on process and process. [Speaker 2] (40:02 - 40:11) Yeah. Appreciate you all. Appreciate the support. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being on this journey with us. Yeah. See you next time. [Speaker 1] (40:14 - 40:39) If you're down to go on this journey with us, you know, to continue the transformational process, to get our support, to be with us, to meet other amazing human beings, I want to up-lever the lives in all different areas, then we'd love to have you with us. You know, January 8th, this is round eight of our program, Rise Above The Herd. Like, come transform your life. So, go to riseabovetheherd.co or check out the link in the show notes below.